Isn't it Ironic??

I have always been afraid of vampires.

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They make me squeamish.

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I can feel their teeth sink in my neck.....feel the ice cold of their pale pale skin against me.

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So isn't it ironic....that I have a new job....and one of my first big gigs....

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is planning a party for 400 vampire fans.

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Tonight I sat down....and started the first of my series of visualizations.

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With big events.....I pretend to run a movie clip in my head....and see what things look like....sort of an IMAX screening in my head.

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I try and see a line of people outside the store...see the hot afternoon sun on them......what will I do if they start dropping like flies??....

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I try and see the stations where we have acitivites.....I think of Sarah judging a costume costume.....see a line of teen girls up against the newsstand.......what if 100 girls show up instead of 50??

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amazingly..... if you create a movie in your head.....you can see the problems right in your own film clip....

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you see you have to break a group in half at a certain point....you realize even in a store maybe everyone should carry a cell phone to communicate with each other.....you realize you can't hand a wedding cake over to someone standing in a line of a 100 people or you may have a lot of people sharing the cake....all over themselves.

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the first draft of the game plan......

I suppose that's the fun of it.....the movie clip....fortune telling the event...and trying to solve it before the prophecy is true.

And just like a good director...the more you run the clips.....the more you see and test your solutions......and sometimes.....see other things pop up.

That's where I'm at right now.....running the beginning clips....running the first edition of the movie in my head....so I can see what it looks like....

I have 10 days till the premier.....10 days...to edit and remake.....and step back and look at it all....fortunately I have someone helping me who set the scenes for me.....and found some of the props...and understands the fans, the book and the characters....that's essential.

But is still a little too ironic.....to be planning a party to celebrate one of your fears....

.sort of like asking someone who is afraid of spiders to not only sing the"Itsy Bitsy Spider" song but have a few crawl up your arm while you finger play with the lyrics....

....just a little too ironic.

The Year (obviously) of the Snake.....

Sometimes you begin to love what you fear......you begin to see the beauty in what frightens you.

Copperheads are gorgeous: the tan camouflage.... rhythmic and intricate. They're aggressive. You can find a baby on your driveway....a creature no longer than a pencil ....and it will rear up and hiss at you. It doesn't care about the disparity of size......your smell, your heat, your presence....that's all it takes to activate it.

I scream when I see snakes. In Chicago, where I grew up, the only time I saw a snake was at the zoo or some special pet shop display. Snakes in California and Maryland were certainly worthy of a scream because of their size....but they were harmless.

The first Copperhead I met here in the South attacked me. I was in the backyard in the summer....popping weeds with a shovel. I heard a noise...a russling of leaves...then saw a big snake....I screamed and jumped back....the shovel swung in front of me....and there was a ping...a tight metal sound and I realized the snake had lunged for me.

I was so stunned an animal would attack me....that it didn't care what my intentions were....that I sickened and almost fainted. For an instant, I felt the vulnerability of prey. No wonder people aggressively beat back any animal which dares puts them in that position. Isn't that why we have tried to wipe out....bears, gators, wolves......anything that reminds us of that feeling?

The logical thing to do, of course, would be to clear the yard of brush and bush and do what most of my neighbors have done....plant grass, mow lawns, create the picture book suburban yard. But the things that attracted me to this neighborhood were the trees, the wild flowers, the blooming shrubs....the scent of wild honeysuckle. So my front yard conforms to the standard but I've left the backyard wild....leaving the elements which invite all kinds of wildlife ...even ones that attack you....intact.

The other night we found the first Copperhead of the summer on the driveway. My son ran in the house to get me. "Don't kill it,"" I shouted to the men folks.....we all stood back and gave it room. It coiled....protecting itself.

My hub fetched a grabber....a stick....with tongs at the end. I let out obligatory but muffled screams as he grabbed the snake's midsection. My son found a tall plastic laundry bucket. Hub released the snake into the bucket.


It was beautiful. It didn't panic....it was ready to strike. I peered down and felt myself smiling.....you have to admire a feisty animal like this.....ready to defend itself ....even though we were armed with saws and shovels and all kinds of tools that could kill it in an instant.

I convinced my hub to put a board over the bucket. I convinced him to sit in the back seat of our car with the bucket and the board and the snake. The snake didn't deserve to die simply because people have changed its habitat.

I drove a couple of miles down the road till we hit an area of brush. I kicked the bucket over....the snake slithered out...turned and reared its head at me. I was far enough away to laugh......and take a picture...the one mean dude picture up above.

I don't want Copperheads in my yard or neighborhood. It's too dangerous with kids and dogs and cats. But I admit I have this growing grudging admiration for them.....this growing respect...for something that so aggressively defends itself.....it's good to be frightened....it's good to be reminded that not everywhere and not every time....you win.

I'm hoping this Copperhead will be the first and the last of the season....but if it's not....I hope I can at least round the next one up and take it someplace....where it can just be what it was meant to be.

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