The vet gently took her paw and injected the medicine which stopped her breathing so quickly ...I didn't even realized she had died. Her body was so soft and relaxed and warm.
I tried to control my sobs....and I did somewhat...but when you hold things too tight...it likes something breaks inside you.
I was driving her to the vet to have him look at a wound on her lip that was growing larger and starting to bleed. Half way there....she made a strange noise and when I glanced over at her carrier ....all I could see was blood....a huge amount of it.
I hit the gas....passed a car in the no pass zone up a hill.....and just grabbed her when I hit the vet's office.
Both vets came instantly and gave each other "the look." I was a nurse....I know the look.
She was conscious but bloody....the vet felt a mass in her little skinny belly. He gave me options...but there weren't really any. The wound...most likely cancer...the mass ...another lump...her rabid appetite and weight loss in the last two weeks....and obviously she was starting to hemorrhage from someplace.
I kept shaking my head....I couldn't believe what was happening......yet despite her growing weakness....she nudged my hand to pet her....to continue her scratchies....which I did.
I asked for a few minutes.... walked to the car to call my hub....but I couldn't speak. He's a smart man though...a sobbing wife on the phone calling from the vet....he figured it out.
I cried all evening and tossed and turned all night.
She had been my kitty....my little friend....we were attached to each other....but I haven't been around much the last 9 months....and even since I got back home three weeks ago....I have been so busy....I obviously didn't put two and two together...her reclusive behavior...her appetite...I supposed knowing she had cancer a week or two wouldn't have changed this outcome...but I would have given her much more love and attention....which she deserved....matching her life long devotion to me with more of my time.
Sweet sweet kitty.
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