I was weeding my flower beds this morning....and noticed a weed or two in my grass. I bent over, popped the weed out and just like that...was overcome by the memory of my dad....walking through his front lawn....with an old flat-headed screwdriver in his back pocket. He'd patrol his yard and when he'd spot an offending weed... he'd swoop down on it using the old screwdriver to pop it out...always being careful to get the roots.
If he knew I was watching him.....he'd point the screwdriver at me and say, "you gotta get the roots out or it'll grow right back." He said that a thousand times to me over a thousand weeds over my entire life. As if somehow I would forget about those damn roots.
I stood back with the small handful of weeds in my hand....and missed him. Even though our educational differences were great...we liked the same things. He liked a neat and tidy garden....reading newspapers.....traveling....learning....and I pretty much followed in his footsteps.
Sometimes I wish his stroke had been minor....something he could have recovered from....and he could have lived with us for awhile.
I actually thought about that scenario before my parents got sick. I was always afraid my dad would die first and my mom would come live with us....she would have been tough very very tough to handle....demanding....passive-aggressive...but if the situation were reversed and my dad came to live with us.....it would have been a different scenario. Every time he came to visit....he loved getting a to-do list from me and "getting busy." He would have walked the dogs.....watered the plants.....and popped weeds out of my lawn. He would have delighted in being useful....contributing to the homestead....any way possible. He was always busy....it was his nature and something I inherited from him. Two busy people can find joy in their busyness.
Of course the scenario of my Dad staying with us didn't play out....the strange scenario of my dad's massive stroke leading to both my parents' death a few months later is one I could have never foreseen or imagined.
So I am popping weeds alone.....and not being able to share the victory......
"Dad I pulled up at least a dozen weeds out of the lawn this morning"
He would have smiled and nodded thoughtful...and asked...."but did you get the roots?"
