Showing posts with label bookstore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bookstore. Show all posts
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Breasts and Bathrooms at the Bookstore....(try and say that...three times quickly)
Working at a bookstore is informative....fun.....and sometimes strange.
Today..... my day was filled with breasts and bathrooms.
Before the store opened....one of the guys on the early crew asked me if I had seen this book.
Yes....I had flipped through it briefly....it's a photo essay book and the first copy we received in the store.... got a bit ratty since so many men needed to study it.
The Big Book of Breasts....is filled with big breasts....naked breasts. What I hadn't noticed when I first glanced at it a couple months ago.....is.....it's filled with natural breasts.....breasts before photoshop and silicone.
It was fascinating.......the pics were mostly in black and white and taken between the 60's and the 90's. The photos clearly showed that large breasts....do not sit high on the chest......but have a natural drift......and nipples aren't smooth.....they have little bumps and ridges in their natural state.
Of course this is not news to women.....but ....I have been so conditioned by magazines....to expect breasts to be perfectly smooth....and sit high on the chest....in every picture I see of them.......it was.....funny/odd/challenging/and educational.....to be reminded....that women don't look like that.....especially if you have more than a champagne glass to fill....in fact....even the models don't really look like that....since its quite common to have a mark or a ridge or a bump.
How strange the world is....that we now sell books which show what large breasts naturally look like.....as if we need a reference book.....or to see what natural breasts looked like before they became extinct in media.
Another thing that shocked me....was that women had hair! Pubic hair! How interesting to see women in lingerie with a fluffy bush!!!. Pubic hair is gone...these days....excepts for runways....or exclamation points.....or a creative design....but all these book women ....had little muffs.
Then I remembered when I was in college....I just shaved my legs.....and trimmed....I never sat in the bathroom....with my legs spread apart.....being puzzled or confused.....about how much to take off here or there or where ever. I mean how weird is it to study your private parts in the mirror......trying to decide if your runway looks like it's ready for a jumbo jet or an ultralight landing...... Oh happy days....when you just went au natural....and trimmed only excessive fur.
Today..... my day was filled with breasts and bathrooms.
Before the store opened....one of the guys on the early crew asked me if I had seen this book.
Yes....I had flipped through it briefly....it's a photo essay book and the first copy we received in the store.... got a bit ratty since so many men needed to study it.The Big Book of Breasts....is filled with big breasts....naked breasts. What I hadn't noticed when I first glanced at it a couple months ago.....is.....it's filled with natural breasts.....breasts before photoshop and silicone.
It was fascinating.......the pics were mostly in black and white and taken between the 60's and the 90's. The photos clearly showed that large breasts....do not sit high on the chest......but have a natural drift......and nipples aren't smooth.....they have little bumps and ridges in their natural state.
Of course this is not news to women.....but ....I have been so conditioned by magazines....to expect breasts to be perfectly smooth....and sit high on the chest....in every picture I see of them.......it was.....funny/odd/challenging/and educational.....to be reminded....that women don't look like that.....especially if you have more than a champagne glass to fill....in fact....even the models don't really look like that....since its quite common to have a mark or a ridge or a bump.
How strange the world is....that we now sell books which show what large breasts naturally look like.....as if we need a reference book.....or to see what natural breasts looked like before they became extinct in media.
Another thing that shocked me....was that women had hair! Pubic hair! How interesting to see women in lingerie with a fluffy bush!!!. Pubic hair is gone...these days....excepts for runways....or exclamation points.....or a creative design....but all these book women ....had little muffs.
Then I remembered when I was in college....I just shaved my legs.....and trimmed....I never sat in the bathroom....with my legs spread apart.....being puzzled or confused.....about how much to take off here or there or where ever. I mean how weird is it to study your private parts in the mirror......trying to decide if your runway looks like it's ready for a jumbo jet or an ultralight landing...... Oh happy days....when you just went au natural....and trimmed only excessive fur.
The other strange part of the day....was how many people....asked where the restrooms were in the store.
Did everyone have big jumbo cups of coffee this morning...or were taking part in some type of spring diuresis rally????....because I was stopped constantly.
In fact...it became so pervasive....we actually started a tally to see how many times we were asked per hour. Of course even when we tell folks where the restrooms are located....they often think we're teasing or playing a trick on them.
Our bathrooms are located under a poster which says....."Gone with the Wind"....so I point and say...."Yes over there on the other side....right under Gone with the Wind"....and they give me a funny look. Sometimes I have to point twice...and say "No ...it's not a joke.....just head towards Gone with the Wind." God Bless the worker in the early days of the store...who had a sense of humor. Of course....the poster next to it....says...."Paradise Lost.".....I admit that would be pretty amusing too.
~~~~~~~
Friday, December 14, 2007
When Customer's Bite.....
Amazon.No not this type.
but.....Amazon.com.
When some people don't have their needs met....they feel obligated to throw a barb at you....to hurt you or make you suffer because you disappointed them.
I see this all the time at the bookstore where I work.... especially now....as the holidays put pressure on folks.
If I don't have the book they want......customers often hiss at me....."Well...I'll just go to Amazon," .......sometimes they'll throw in a scowl or a dramatic lift of the eyebrows to accompany the sentence....other times they turn on their heels and leave in a huff away from the information desk.
I've learned to say nothing in response to the Amazon threat....because if I say anything....whether it's pleasant or catty...it often escalates the situation.
Folks who engage in barb throwing..... often need to have the last word.....so even if I reply with.. "Good Luck" or "Hope you find your book"......they'll have to throw in a big final sentence like...."I'm going to do all my business online from now on" or "I'm never coming back here".... Etc. Etc. Etc.
I love books. I think they can change your life. As a bookseller, I want people to find their books. Most booksellers....feel the same way. When a book is out of stock for our stores, we often refer people to Amazon....."Why don't you try Amazon....they may have a book or two left."
Some folks give me a suspicious look when I say our competitor's name.....thinking I have a secret liaison with the enemy.
I don't....I just want them to find their book. Sincerely ....I do.... A book is not like a pair of socks or underwear.....it's a specific and personal choice....so substituting one book for another is not an equal trade off.
If I go to the store to buy a pair of black Nike socks....I can probably switch to Reebok socks and feel okay about it......If I go into a bookstore wanting the Joy of Sex.....and come out with the Joy of Cooking.....well that's a whole different evening at home isn't it?
Maybe I should take a lesson from those mythical Amazon women.....and walk into work with a breast plate and shield.....might help folks see....they shouldn't attack the messenger....if their book is not available.....but then again it might give some customers additional fodder.....
"I don't have to deal with people in armor at Amazon.com"
No....... you don't.
~~
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Oh Ho ho....or.....Some of the Customers are Getting Nutty......
I've worked at the bookstore for over 5 years...which means I have at least 5 Xmas retail experiences under my belt.
.
I'm ready for grumpy.....I'm ready for nasty......I'm ready for funny and pleasant....but I must say I wasn't ready for this today.
.
I was gathering data on the computer screen for a customer order when I noticed this woman who reeked with budding agitation.
.
The Gods were good to me..... my customer forget his own zip code and needed to check his driver's license...and my fellow bookseller.........greeted Miss Waiting-to-be-Detonated..... instead of me.
.
Kaboom!!!
.
She started shouting in what sounded like a blend of a British Cockney accent and a deep Southern Belle/Scarlet O'Hara accent.
.
"I found my teenage boys looking at gay porn in the bathroom. I want you to show me your picture books of gay porn. I want you to show me men taking it from behind...right up there..... because I want to see the type of stuff your selling. Show me where it is......I want to see pictures from gay books...take me to these books."
.
My fellow bookseller (who should have been awarded a metal right on the spot) calmly explained to the woman we do not sell gay pornography or pornography in the store. We have a gay and lesbian section which was filled with non fiction and fiction titles....and the books were mostly text-content.
.
She started shouting again.
.
"You sell this stuff I want to see it. We're going to take care of getting this type of stuff out of here. Show me where it is. They were looking at it but I want to see it."
.
My customer could barely remember his address and I could barely type it. We pretended to stick to our business but we glanced at each other silently communicating our amazement.
.
The bookseller walked her to the gay and lesbian section. I could hear her shouting all the way at the desk. I couldn't figure out what she wanted......if she found her boys looking at gay porn....why was she coming in her to find the magazine...she should have it right? Was this some kind of theatrics? or something real?
.
Apparently the bookseller showed her the gay/lesbian section and she wanted to look into some of the books. But....she wouldn't touch the books so the bookseller had to open the books for her. Not satisfied, she pointed to some covers...(men's bodies close together) and shouted we did have pictures!
.
She raced down the aisle out the store.....shouting....something to the effect of....we'll get it out of here.....I know where it's at.....there won't be any of this stuff anymore. This is going to come to an end.
.
We just watched her leave.
.
About 4 years ago, a group of people from several churches near a small town in my state, boycotted a bookstore forcing it to close because it contained a gay and lesbian section. I wondered if she was starting a campaign. Her performance was so outlandish....she was either a nut or someone who had staged this.
.
Once in a while, people go into the gay section and rummage around....opening books...sometimes slitting protective plastic covers.....until they find a picture or something else that meets their agenda and then they storm up to us....full of complaints.
.
If they hadn't gone looking in the section.....they wouldn't have found this material.....gay books do not jump off the shelf and dive at people exposing their most risque pictures or passages. They sit quietly on the shelf and don't open..... unless opened.
.
After a few minutes.....I thought of those teen boys...I could only imagine what rage and hysteria rained on them......
~~~~~~
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Never Ever Sit in This Chair..........
"I have a complaint...... are you the manager?"
.
It's 9:06 A.M. and the bookstore I work at on Sundays...has been open a total of 6 minutes. What could possibly go wrong in 6 minutes.
.
.
"No, I'm not the manager....would you like me to call him?"
.
The guy...gray-haired and in his early sixties...in khaki pants and crisp ironed plaid shirt smiles a little. Maybe this a joke... maybe I look so cute in my new tight Vera Wang sweater with a nice whallop of cleavage showing this morning.... he wants to throw me off balance... telling me the problem is I'm so gorgeous he can't concentrate on his reading materials.
.
"We have a complaint." A gray-haired woman joins him. Okay forget the compliments.......this woman is serious with a capital S. She has a naturally upturned nose and unfortunately has titled her head up so I can stare deeply .....into her nasal canals.
.
"I want you to inform the manager there aren't enough upholstered chairs in the store," she says.
.
This is a new one for me. I'm not quite sure what to say..... maybe they haven't found our stash of chairs. "We have 4 chairs in the back of the store."
.
"Yes....but someone is already sitting in one of them and we want to sit together," she whined. I put on my concerned retail sales face so I won't roll my eyes and grimace at her. She's cradling three notebooks and a bunch of pens in her hand so she's probably planning to use the store as a library ......copy information without buying a thing.
.
"There's two chairs by the children's department."
.
"We don't like to sit there."
.
"There's a row of wooden chairs by the news stand."
.
The woman's lips curl upward and the combo of upturned nose and lips creates a frightening snarl.
.
"We don't like the wooden chairs, why don't you have more upholstered chairs?" The man chimes in.....since his wife is too busy making faces at me.
.
"They're harder to keep clean and get worn out." I'm not sure this is the reason the upholstered seating has declined in our store but it sounds logical and could be true. They squint at me......I have upset them with a grain of truth.
.
"That's no excuse...." the guy snaps.
.
"Listen....let me tell you about......" but I don't complete my sentence. I smile and count to 5 or maybe 6. "I'll forward your concerns to the store manager."
.
"I suggest you do that, " he says with a formality smacking of a BBC character.
.
They head off to the unacceptable chairs by the children's department. I check out the chairs by the computer and see one of our regulars has occupied it. An older man....in dirty slacks, greasy glasses, unkempt hair and dirty yellow fingernails. He comes into the store....finds a hardback....takes the dust cover off and drops it to the floor....then reads for hours...occasionally picking his nose or rubbing his hands on his face and then resting it on the arm of the upholstered chair.
.
I didn't tell them....but I'm going to tell you.
.
Never sit in an upholstered chair in a bookstore...unless you're in a air tight space suit certified by NASA.
.
Do you have any idea who sits and wallows in these chairs for hours?
.
Here's a list of people:
.
Drooling babies.
.
Barfing babies.
.
Toddlers with sticky hands who spill the contents of their sippy cups all over the chair.
.
Old guys who haven't bathed.....and may be greasy and smelly or both.
.
Homeless men and women who occasionally sit with us for a spell.
.
Young guys in crumpled dirty clothes that haven't seen a laundry in weeks.
.
Workmen,who are taking a quick break, with debris (paint, oil, smudges) on their clothes and stains on their hands.
.
People (men and women) who curl up in a chair and put their dirty shoes all over the chairs (people tend to sit in all kinds of odd positions after a few hours).
.
People who take off their shoes and put their bare feet (which exhibit a wide spectrum of cleanliness) all over the seat and arms.
.
People who spill coffee and frappicinos into the chairs as well as drop cake, cookies, pretzels and our new egg sandwiches onto the fabric.
.
People who use the fabric as napkins because they don't want to wander back to cafe and get one.
.
People who sneeze and cough without covering their mouths and nose.
.
Groups of people...all trying to fit into one chair....to kiss, snuggle, drop food, and paw the fabric during intensely intimate conversations.
.
I don't even want to think of the kids who may have lice.... or staph infections....or conjunctivities.....yes....let's not go there.
.
My advice....steer away from fabric and head for those nice wooden chairs scattered through out most stores.......they may not be as comfortable.....but there's a lot less human residue on them.
~~~~
.
The guy...gray-haired and in his early sixties...in khaki pants and crisp ironed plaid shirt smiles a little. Maybe this a joke... maybe I look so cute in my new tight Vera Wang sweater with a nice whallop of cleavage showing this morning.... he wants to throw me off balance... telling me the problem is I'm so gorgeous he can't concentrate on his reading materials.
.
"We have a complaint." A gray-haired woman joins him. Okay forget the compliments.......this woman is serious with a capital S. She has a naturally upturned nose and unfortunately has titled her head up so I can stare deeply .....into her nasal canals.
.
"I want you to inform the manager there aren't enough upholstered chairs in the store," she says.
.
This is a new one for me. I'm not quite sure what to say..... maybe they haven't found our stash of chairs. "We have 4 chairs in the back of the store."
.
"Yes....but someone is already sitting in one of them and we want to sit together," she whined. I put on my concerned retail sales face so I won't roll my eyes and grimace at her. She's cradling three notebooks and a bunch of pens in her hand so she's probably planning to use the store as a library ......copy information without buying a thing.
.
"There's two chairs by the children's department."
.
"We don't like to sit there."
.
"There's a row of wooden chairs by the news stand."
.
The woman's lips curl upward and the combo of upturned nose and lips creates a frightening snarl.
.
"We don't like the wooden chairs, why don't you have more upholstered chairs?" The man chimes in.....since his wife is too busy making faces at me.
.
"They're harder to keep clean and get worn out." I'm not sure this is the reason the upholstered seating has declined in our store but it sounds logical and could be true. They squint at me......I have upset them with a grain of truth.
.
"That's no excuse...." the guy snaps.
.
"Listen....let me tell you about......" but I don't complete my sentence. I smile and count to 5 or maybe 6. "I'll forward your concerns to the store manager."
.
"I suggest you do that, " he says with a formality smacking of a BBC character.
.
They head off to the unacceptable chairs by the children's department. I check out the chairs by the computer and see one of our regulars has occupied it. An older man....in dirty slacks, greasy glasses, unkempt hair and dirty yellow fingernails. He comes into the store....finds a hardback....takes the dust cover off and drops it to the floor....then reads for hours...occasionally picking his nose or rubbing his hands on his face and then resting it on the arm of the upholstered chair.
.
I didn't tell them....but I'm going to tell you.
.
Never sit in an upholstered chair in a bookstore...unless you're in a air tight space suit certified by NASA.
.
Do you have any idea who sits and wallows in these chairs for hours?
.
Here's a list of people:
.
Drooling babies.
.
Barfing babies.
.
Toddlers with sticky hands who spill the contents of their sippy cups all over the chair.
.
Old guys who haven't bathed.....and may be greasy and smelly or both.
.
Homeless men and women who occasionally sit with us for a spell.
.
Young guys in crumpled dirty clothes that haven't seen a laundry in weeks.
.
Workmen,who are taking a quick break, with debris (paint, oil, smudges) on their clothes and stains on their hands.
.
People (men and women) who curl up in a chair and put their dirty shoes all over the chairs (people tend to sit in all kinds of odd positions after a few hours).
.
People who take off their shoes and put their bare feet (which exhibit a wide spectrum of cleanliness) all over the seat and arms.
.
People who spill coffee and frappicinos into the chairs as well as drop cake, cookies, pretzels and our new egg sandwiches onto the fabric.
.
People who use the fabric as napkins because they don't want to wander back to cafe and get one.
.
People who sneeze and cough without covering their mouths and nose.
.
Groups of people...all trying to fit into one chair....to kiss, snuggle, drop food, and paw the fabric during intensely intimate conversations.
.
I don't even want to think of the kids who may have lice.... or staph infections....or conjunctivities.....yes....let's not go there.
.
My advice....steer away from fabric and head for those nice wooden chairs scattered through out most stores.......they may not be as comfortable.....but there's a lot less human residue on them.
~~~~
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Sex in the Bookstore.....the End of My Day.
The After-Church crowd has arrived. It will be non-stop busyness until I leave in a couple of hours.
I race up to the cashier stand to leave a book for a customer and find Claire managing a cash register. Customers usually come in waves to purchase books....and this must be a dip. I pick up a Cosmo and wave it at her. "Have your read this......10 new all time incredible sex secrets....right here Claire....waiting for you on your lunch break." I wink at her and smile. She laughs and shakes her head at me. "How about 10 tricks for hot hot sex??" courtesy of Men's Health. (Men's magazines are more inclined to use the word HOT...whereas women's magazine are more prone to SECRETS.) She shakes her head again and waves me off....I return to info chuckling.
Popular magazines always have a feature article or two on sex each month. The real kicker is....they find at least 10-20 sex secrets a month. That's a lot of sex secrets. You have to wonder if there's some conspiracy to hide sex information....since there are so many secrets....and who....who is storing all these secrets? Is there some underground vault in Nevada where sex secrets are hidden and doled out per month? Is there some secret society, much like something from out of the Da Vinci Code, which hides and protects sex secrets and carefully releases a few every month? By my rough calculations.....20 sex secrets a month x12 months....means magazines "discover" at least 240 sex secrets per year....and since I feel as a bookseller and a woman it's my duty to stay a breast of this information.......it means I've been exposed to over 1200 sex secrets since I've worked at the book store! Factor in all the Kama Sutras, sex tips, sex books, sex manuals I've shelved....I should be a sex expert!!
In fact, sometimes I think I am. Many times when I work, my book selling partner may be a guy....so women...who are looking for sex anthologies, sex information, or relationship books often seek me out. I have recommendations in sex anthologies ....and I've read the Mars/Venus thing... Why Men love Bitches....and He's Not Into You books too.....and I can do a fair job of recommending books based on your level of experience and where you want to advance to in your sex life. I think part of my comfort with sex comes from my nursing background...especially since I worked in cardiac nursing... before a patient could be discharged we had to address sex issues, activities levels, and exertion levels....we also had to remind certain heart patients to limit their sexual experiences to their wives post-heart attack.
I also think I'm just one of those people....who is comfortable with sex. In college, I choose to teach basic contraception as my senior nursing project. Planned Parenthood loaned me their little black suitcase....which contained condoms, IUD's, birth control pills, etc. I taught impromptu classes in our dorm...opening my little suitcase of contraceptive wonders....and explaining how to use them......I felt like I was providing a service to my fellow dormies......and it wasn't uncommon for someone to come to my room privately to ask me a question.
Unfortunately, my sex education days were limited. A Resident Advisor of the dorm...called the nursing department chair....to inform her I was teaching contraception....(a no-no for a Catholic university)....and I was asked to return the "suitcase." I did....but I asked Planned Parenthood for a few supplies and till I graduated.....I kept a little stash of items....in case someone needed them.
As I said, women usually come up to me in the bookstore.....but on a rare occasion a man might ask for help....usually it's because his wife/lover/girlfriend has sent him to the store for a specific title which he's suppose to retrieve and bring home. A few months ago.....a very handsome man came up to me and asked me for a copy of "The Secret Garden." The Secret Garden is an old classic children's book....I checked the computer to see how many copies we had....and then led him to the children's department. When I handed him the book, he looked horrified.
"Isn't this the book you want?"
"I don't think so."
I look at him. He looks at me. Then it hits me.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........you mean MY Secret Garden."
"Do I?"
"Yes you do....."
I lead him to the sexuality section...take The Secret Garden out of his hands and replace it with a copy of My Secret Garden....the classic erotic fantasy book written in the 1970's. Apparently, a ground breaker in female sexual fantasy at the time...it's now considered tame by Internet standards.
"I think this is it." He grins.
"Have fun."
I watch him walk off and sigh.....hey...this is a great job.......sending off a tall, dark handsome man with a sex book and a smile........
Someone is going to be very very happy tonight.
~~~
I race up to the cashier stand to leave a book for a customer and find Claire managing a cash register. Customers usually come in waves to purchase books....and this must be a dip. I pick up a Cosmo and wave it at her. "Have your read this......10 new all time incredible sex secrets....right here Claire....waiting for you on your lunch break." I wink at her and smile. She laughs and shakes her head at me. "How about 10 tricks for hot hot sex??" courtesy of Men's Health. (Men's magazines are more inclined to use the word HOT...whereas women's magazine are more prone to SECRETS.) She shakes her head again and waves me off....I return to info chuckling.
Popular magazines always have a feature article or two on sex each month. The real kicker is....they find at least 10-20 sex secrets a month. That's a lot of sex secrets. You have to wonder if there's some conspiracy to hide sex information....since there are so many secrets....and who....who is storing all these secrets? Is there some underground vault in Nevada where sex secrets are hidden and doled out per month? Is there some secret society, much like something from out of the Da Vinci Code, which hides and protects sex secrets and carefully releases a few every month? By my rough calculations.....20 sex secrets a month x12 months....means magazines "discover" at least 240 sex secrets per year....and since I feel as a bookseller and a woman it's my duty to stay a breast of this information.......it means I've been exposed to over 1200 sex secrets since I've worked at the book store! Factor in all the Kama Sutras, sex tips, sex books, sex manuals I've shelved....I should be a sex expert!!
In fact, sometimes I think I am. Many times when I work, my book selling partner may be a guy....so women...who are looking for sex anthologies, sex information, or relationship books often seek me out. I have recommendations in sex anthologies ....and I've read the Mars/Venus thing... Why Men love Bitches....and He's Not Into You books too.....and I can do a fair job of recommending books based on your level of experience and where you want to advance to in your sex life. I think part of my comfort with sex comes from my nursing background...especially since I worked in cardiac nursing... before a patient could be discharged we had to address sex issues, activities levels, and exertion levels....we also had to remind certain heart patients to limit their sexual experiences to their wives post-heart attack.
I also think I'm just one of those people....who is comfortable with sex. In college, I choose to teach basic contraception as my senior nursing project. Planned Parenthood loaned me their little black suitcase....which contained condoms, IUD's, birth control pills, etc. I taught impromptu classes in our dorm...opening my little suitcase of contraceptive wonders....and explaining how to use them......I felt like I was providing a service to my fellow dormies......and it wasn't uncommon for someone to come to my room privately to ask me a question.
Unfortunately, my sex education days were limited. A Resident Advisor of the dorm...called the nursing department chair....to inform her I was teaching contraception....(a no-no for a Catholic university)....and I was asked to return the "suitcase." I did....but I asked Planned Parenthood for a few supplies and till I graduated.....I kept a little stash of items....in case someone needed them.
As I said, women usually come up to me in the bookstore.....but on a rare occasion a man might ask for help....usually it's because his wife/lover/girlfriend has sent him to the store for a specific title which he's suppose to retrieve and bring home. A few months ago.....a very handsome man came up to me and asked me for a copy of "The Secret Garden." The Secret Garden is an old classic children's book....I checked the computer to see how many copies we had....and then led him to the children's department. When I handed him the book, he looked horrified.
"Isn't this the book you want?"
"I don't think so."
I look at him. He looks at me. Then it hits me.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........you mean MY Secret Garden."
"Do I?"
"Yes you do....."
I lead him to the sexuality section...take The Secret Garden out of his hands and replace it with a copy of My Secret Garden....the classic erotic fantasy book written in the 1970's. Apparently, a ground breaker in female sexual fantasy at the time...it's now considered tame by Internet standards.
"I think this is it." He grins.
"Have fun."
I watch him walk off and sigh.....hey...this is a great job.......sending off a tall, dark handsome man with a sex book and a smile........
Someone is going to be very very happy tonight.
~~~
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
My Life as a Bookseller....part 4
"You're an idiot, is there anyone else around who might be competent?"
I'm holding the phone to my ear. I can feel my heart hammering. It's amazing how in a few seconds, the shot-in-the-dark insult, can affect your heart so quickly.
I have three choices at this point: fight (nasty comment back), flight(hang up) or savoir-faire.
"I'm the only person at Information right now so it appears you'll have to take my word on this."
The phone clicks.
He was looking for Quick Claim Deed Forms. We don't carry them. Had he been a decent guy, I would have given him an online suggestion. But he wasn't a nice guy; so he'd have to figure this out for himself.
Although I've been in retail for 5 years now, I'm impressed how an insult affects me. I feel like I'm punctured......and now all the negatives of my past week....swarm around this wound....like hornets round a can of soda in summer. Mis-communication with someone, self-doubt, a small hurt....they all play ring-a-round-the-Rosy over the wound.
The next two customers receive extraordinary service. I practically carry them to the check-out counter..... but the insult still sticks....as if it has it's own length-of-stay criteria....no matter what I try to do to forget it.
"Do you ever feel bad for a long time after a customer insults you?" Claire nods. She's an extraordinarily calm and self-assured young woman and I'm a surprised insults stick to her too. She identifies with the punctured-feeling. Kathy does too. I actually feel a little better knowing other people feel the whiplash from insults. I wonder if customers who lash out ever release how this stuff sticks....and perhaps it sticks more because we are strangers.....if I was arguing with a family member or friend...we would kiss and make-up and he/she would say......"Of course you're not an idiot".....but there's no reaffirmation with a stranger, no one who comes and places a band-aid over the wound.
It's break time and time for spiritual medicine. I head towards Self-Improvement and grab one of my favorite books..."How to be Happy, dammit." It's a little Buddhist-positive thinking-affirmation-new age-philosophy-type book. I'm so fond of this book...it makes me chuckle...just to hold it.
It's a book with a history....and you gotta love a book with a personal history.... A couple years ago when I was in Minnesota, I had this really bad day. I remember it so well.....an uber pile-up of misery...as if the universe was playing mad scientist and said...."Let's experiment....how much can she take?"
I had a friend, who was having emotional problems, she started screaming at me in the middle of a restaurant when I suggested she needed professional help. I left. On my way back to the hotel, I escaped a major car crash on the icy freeway by literally a few inches. Safe in my room, I opened my laptop and found an extremely painful email. I staggered to the chair and fell into it.
"Ouch." I had sat on a plastic bag with this book and a trinket I bought for my daughter. I opened the book and read for hours....just kept turning the pages over and over again.....almost afraid to look up and away from the book.......until I could fall asleep. Sometimes the key to surviving emotional trauma....is the blessing of sleep.
" Lesson #24....When you become calm and serene on the inside, the world becomes more calm and serene on the outside. Your enemies=your teachers. Your failure=your wisdom. Your undesired endings=your desirable beginnings....." and so on and so on.
As break time ends..... I see a red Cosmo book on sex positions laying on the table across from me. I open and study and laugh and think.....there are way toooo many positions in this book where you have to be up-side down.
Back at information, the Sunday Transvestite passes the counter. A 6'4" man/woman with a long frosted wig, arched eyebrows so high and perfect it looks like she used a jar lid to trace the shape, black skirt, black suit jacket, fluffy white blouse.....good heels......and god love her/him.....46 DDDDDD implants/or bra? Oh honey, I think....you could be such a good looking man/woman if you kept it down to a D or DD........because really DDDDDD is just way too much....even for a bookstore.
(Bookseller names/fiction...Booksellers/real)
I'm holding the phone to my ear. I can feel my heart hammering. It's amazing how in a few seconds, the shot-in-the-dark insult, can affect your heart so quickly.
I have three choices at this point: fight (nasty comment back), flight(hang up) or savoir-faire.
"I'm the only person at Information right now so it appears you'll have to take my word on this."
The phone clicks.
He was looking for Quick Claim Deed Forms. We don't carry them. Had he been a decent guy, I would have given him an online suggestion. But he wasn't a nice guy; so he'd have to figure this out for himself.
Although I've been in retail for 5 years now, I'm impressed how an insult affects me. I feel like I'm punctured......and now all the negatives of my past week....swarm around this wound....like hornets round a can of soda in summer. Mis-communication with someone, self-doubt, a small hurt....they all play ring-a-round-the-Rosy over the wound.
The next two customers receive extraordinary service. I practically carry them to the check-out counter..... but the insult still sticks....as if it has it's own length-of-stay criteria....no matter what I try to do to forget it.
"Do you ever feel bad for a long time after a customer insults you?" Claire nods. She's an extraordinarily calm and self-assured young woman and I'm a surprised insults stick to her too. She identifies with the punctured-feeling. Kathy does too. I actually feel a little better knowing other people feel the whiplash from insults. I wonder if customers who lash out ever release how this stuff sticks....and perhaps it sticks more because we are strangers.....if I was arguing with a family member or friend...we would kiss and make-up and he/she would say......"Of course you're not an idiot".....but there's no reaffirmation with a stranger, no one who comes and places a band-aid over the wound.
It's break time and time for spiritual medicine. I head towards Self-Improvement and grab one of my favorite books..."How to be Happy, dammit." It's a little Buddhist-positive thinking-affirmation-new age-philosophy-type book. I'm so fond of this book...it makes me chuckle...just to hold it.
It's a book with a history....and you gotta love a book with a personal history.... A couple years ago when I was in Minnesota, I had this really bad day. I remember it so well.....an uber pile-up of misery...as if the universe was playing mad scientist and said...."Let's experiment....how much can she take?"
I had a friend, who was having emotional problems, she started screaming at me in the middle of a restaurant when I suggested she needed professional help. I left. On my way back to the hotel, I escaped a major car crash on the icy freeway by literally a few inches. Safe in my room, I opened my laptop and found an extremely painful email. I staggered to the chair and fell into it.
"Ouch." I had sat on a plastic bag with this book and a trinket I bought for my daughter. I opened the book and read for hours....just kept turning the pages over and over again.....almost afraid to look up and away from the book.......until I could fall asleep. Sometimes the key to surviving emotional trauma....is the blessing of sleep.
" Lesson #24....When you become calm and serene on the inside, the world becomes more calm and serene on the outside. Your enemies=your teachers. Your failure=your wisdom. Your undesired endings=your desirable beginnings....." and so on and so on.
As break time ends..... I see a red Cosmo book on sex positions laying on the table across from me. I open and study and laugh and think.....there are way toooo many positions in this book where you have to be up-side down.
Back at information, the Sunday Transvestite passes the counter. A 6'4" man/woman with a long frosted wig, arched eyebrows so high and perfect it looks like she used a jar lid to trace the shape, black skirt, black suit jacket, fluffy white blouse.....good heels......and god love her/him.....46 DDDDDD implants/or bra? Oh honey, I think....you could be such a good looking man/woman if you kept it down to a D or DD........because really DDDDDD is just way too much....even for a bookstore.
(Bookseller names/fiction...Booksellers/real)
Monday, February 26, 2007
My Life as a Bookseller.........Part 1
I work in a bookstore, a chain bookstore, and have for the last 5 years. People often ask me if working in a bookstore is fun....I can't lie....it is.....especially if you love books and love working with interesting people.Surprisingly, a fair number of folks hand me their application for employment and confess they don't read a lot but hang out at the store and think it would be a "cool" place to work. Occasionally management has hired people who either faked an interest in books or openly lied about their reading habits. They usually don't last too long. Other booksellers begin giving pseudo-bookies the evil eye and our customers, many of them with a shark-like ability to detect a lack of literary knowledge, will circle the poor hapless creature and devour him or her.
I usually work Sundays. I complain about going to work on Saturday. It's a tradition. How can you work every Sunday if you don't complain about it Saturday evening? But when the alarm goes off at 630am Sunday morning, I'm ready to go. I start at 8am.
What can you possibly do at 8am on a Sunday morning in a bookstore? Lots. I'm the morning newspaper person. I arrive to find a stack of 100 or so newspapers either outside the door of the store or waiting for me in the front lobby. I actually enjoy newspaper prep. It's a physical and rather ritualistic job that requires counting the papers, stacking them in appropriate places, and stripping and counting out-of-date newspapers. It takes about an hour to complete the job. The lugging and hauling of papers, wakes me up and I'm ready for our wonderful customers by the 9am opening. I also enjoy taking a peek at some of the stories in the newspapers. It's good to get a glimpse into the life of people in Oklahoma or Atlanta and of course, those wild and crazy folks, in New York.
This past Sunday, I hit the bookstore in an evil mood. I was running late and left the house without my cup of coffee. A power outage zapped us for a few hours on Saturday and every clock in my house was reset at different times. I thought I woke up at 630, my husband's clock said it was 645, my bathroom clock said it was 7am. Was I smart enough to flip open my cellphone and see what time it really was? No...so I rushed out of the house, sans JAVA.....and cranky. When I looked at the time in my car....I was actually running a few minutes ahead of time...great....but it was too late to get the coffee going now.
The ritual of the newspapers calmed me down. I hit the backroom to strip, toss, count, and file the papers and noticed someone had left two magazines on the work table. One was a magazine called MEN, the other was a PLAYBOY.
In our bookstore, especially on Friday and Saturdays, it's not uncommon to find copies of sexual magazines hidden and scattered in various places in the store. There's always the funny customer who hides a Playboy in Cooking or Christianity. The men's bathroom is also a favorite deposit area. Customers will come out of the bathroom and report abandoned mags. We send in one of our guys to retrieve them. Soiled, wet, crumpled mags are greeted with a yuck....and escorted ......via latex gloves...... to the backroom for proper disposal.
The magazines left on the work bench were in pristine condition. Someone probably slipped the plastic wrap off (they must be sealed because of their content) and the closing crew found them while tidying up the place after hours. I've looked through many of the major magazines in our bookstore.... from travel mags, to cooking mags, to sex mags. I expected MEN to be a gay advocate magazine. When I opened it, I discovered it was not a typical soft gay mag. The entire middle section was devoted to positions..... interesting positions... the men were gorgeous....many of them were pouting...some had Angelina Jolie-type lips .......which I found fascinating. (What you think I'm going to admit I found other things besides their lips fanscinating?) I realized I was VERY AWAKE now, even without my coffee. I finished my newspaper duties and did a quick glance at PLAYBOY....one should always keep an eye on the competition. As expected, the women were all perfect, so nothing new there.
I glanced at the clock, the store would be opening in about 5 minutes. I decided not to trust the buzz from MEN magazine. I hit the cafe for a cup of coffee.
~~~
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