"Light your candles at 5:15pm"

My weeks are getting busier and harder.....the silent auction is just three weeks away and I have over 100 items to organize, summarize, fancy up and haul to a downtown hotel.

The auction itself would be enough of a vise but I'm taking a couple of classes....and it seems from the moment I open my eyes till I try and close them....I am over-scheduled.

So when the text arrived around noon on Friday to light the Sabbath candles at 5:15pm....I stopped....and thought ....I have to do this...I have to rest, recharge and regain my composure.

I phoned my husband and told him to be home before 5:15pm. I ran to the bakery to get a warm buttery soft challah loaf....I dashed into the grocery store for the makings of a dinner salad.....I sped home....cleaned off the table.....opened the wine.....chopped the veggies up.....grabbed a new tablecloth from the closet.....opened my grandfather's special wooden box to retrieve the shabbat candles....lighter.....glasses.......loaded up the coffee pot....cleaned up the kitchen....all with my eyes glued on the clock.

It was almost like a game....could I get everything done before 5:15pm?

5:12..hubby walks in.

5:13 ...hurry put a cover on the challah.

5:14...hurry hurry and get hubby to sit down.

5:15....amen ...I made it. I lite the candles...said the prayer quietly to myself.....sigh and sit down.

My hub and I looked at each startled. Our meals have been so fast and quick this week...half of them I didn't even eat with the men folks but here we are.....face to face over the dinner table.

We clinked our wine glasses. My phone made it's little messages-and-texts-are-here-noises which I ignored. We put on some music.....I reminded myself I could eat slowly....I had no place to dash off to.....I would eat...digest....chat...read....but generally be still...maybe we would watch a movie together later.

It felt so wonderful to regain myself..... I decided to miss my morning class and even services on Saturday. I tried to keep calm......I did a little studying....and again we sat down to a quiet dinner. I didn't do the Havdahla service...the service which ends the Sabbath.... because I actually did not want to the day to end....I decided to continue for a few more hours.....and I plan to hit the sack early and get up early on Sunday to start the day fresh.....classes first....then get started organizing and writing up the auction items.

The next weeks will be very intense.

Thank G-d for the Sabbath.
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To touch, to tame, to connect.

For 4-5 weeks....a skinny ragged little kitten has made her home in the bushes in our front yard.

I don't know how she found us, perhaps, some invisible sign written in cat language is staked in our front yard...."these people are nice to strays."

Whatever, she was a small streak of gray meowing in the bushes.... obviously hungry and I have cat food.

I hesitated for only a few seconds before placing the bowl under the bushes.... I don't want another cat.

I have two cats, two dogs, two sons living with me....and one husband.

The Inn is full.

My last cat, Fancypants, was a stray but I'm not an animal hoarder or someone that takes in every animal that wanders our way.

Still...I could not not feed this small cat. I would figure out what to do with her later.

To my surprise....the little kitty hissed and arched her back trying to look ferocious when I placed the bowl down.

I wondered if she was feral....but her little ribs were sticking out and whatever she was....she was under my bush, in front of my house meowing pitifully.

I fed her the next day and the next day.

She wouldn't come to me and always kept a couple of feet distance.... each time I got down on my knees and peered under the bushes... she would sink further back into the greenery and hiss.

I tried to catch her as the weather grew colder....put out a cat carrier with food in it...but once she was inside... she flung herself so hard against the grate her nose starting bleeding...so I let her go.

And so we continued our little dance.....

"Kitty are you there?"

Meow Meow.

"Here's some food"

Hiss. Hiss.

With snow and below freezing temperatures coming, I worried for the little thing but I wasn't sure what to do.

One day when I opened our front door on a very cold morning, kitty was sitting on our doorstep...but she zipped away the minute I bent over and tried to touch her.

So I placed a bowl of food on our front porch and waited......she peeked out of the bushes and cautiously stepped onto the porch to eat....she had one eye on her food and one eye on me. If I moved....she ran away.

So the dance moved to our front porch.

The night before the first snow storm, I looked out the door's window and saw her sitting on our steps. Cold, small...a little spit of a thing....I knew I had to do to provide some sort of shelter for her or she might not make it. But anything that reeked of human....like a towel...a box....she jumped away from.

Since she occasionally sat on our doormat.... I found an old heating pad and slipped it under our mat and plugged it in to our outdoor lights. Within minutes, after I shut the front door, she curled up in a tight knot over the doormat. Next trip outside, I placed a small square of wood in front of the front step to provide a little wind screen.

Heating blankets don't stay on continuously....people were injured or burned when pads were left on so most heating pads have a two hour timer....which meant someone in our household would have to open the front door and reactivate the heater for our wild cat.

We all took turns ...anyone who was passed the front door looked out the side window to see if the red heating light was still on. Each time someone reactivated the pad.... she jumped away quick as lightening but jumped back just as quickly.

She survived the first snow storm and the ensuing bitter cold nights after. I would reactivate the blanket at about 1am before I went to bed....and my son, who leaves for work at 5am, would be the first in the morning to turn the thing back on...which meant she only had a two hour window to keep warm on her own.

Since she survived the cold tough week, I thought I would try a different approach. I sat down on the front step and waited. Sure enough....she'd peek out of the bushes...cautiously jump onto the front porch...dance around....stretch...rub herself against my flower pots....but she always kept the two foot distance between her and my outstretched hand.

"Come here kitty kitty" I would say softly to her.

"Meow" she'd answer...dancing around in a circle but still keeping her distance.

And then yesterday.....the usual routine....I gave her some food....went about my day....and opened the door around noon to sit on the front step for a few minutes.

Out she popped from her little home in the bushes.....and then she carefully....walked closer to me....I reached out my hand.....I could see the hesitancy in her body.......all her muscles seemed ready to spring ....and then she moved her head towards my fingers...paused.... then bent her head down for a few seconds....allowing me to scratch her..... behind her cold little ears.

We both jumped apart after contact.

She looked as surprised as I was.

What happened today? Why today? After a month of shying away from me....what had changed? Why did she decide to trust me for three seconds...to offer me her neck to touch...to connect?

I don't know.

She came up to me later in the day and allowed me another scratchie then darted off.

Now I'm wondering if she is really feral or is she simply an abandoned kitty who's never been touched or petted.

A couple hours ago I saw a preview for the movie "No Strings Attached" and I found myself smiling because I can guess the plot.....girl asks guy for sex// no strings attached....touch touch kiss kiss...but somehow the same door that opened today between my wild cat and I is opened on a bigger scale when a man and a woman are involved.....the touch...the skin contact creates a connection.

Touching an animal or another person....changes you....some neural pathway is altered....some synapse which was unconnected is connected and caring...concern....attention...flows easier.....and the more we touch.....the more the bond strengthens.......which is why "No Strings" doesn't work often in life....and why I am now worried about a little wild cat sitting somewhere under my bushes.

I opened my front door a few hours ago and wild kitty is not there....the doormat is heated...the board in place....and it's very cold....hopefully she has found another spot which is warmer ...safer than my front door.

So now I am more concerned for her and for her safety....now....that she trusts me a little....I've reciprocated by caring a little more about her. I've even thought of giving of her name.

You touch...you connect....and then there are consequences.

Where are you little wild cat?
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Pretty nipple pasties that I don't sell.

I admit they're pretty.....I'm sure they would be fun to wear .....but unfortunately I don't sell them.



In the strange world of the Internet....somehow ...somewhere in the galaxy someone has incorrectly swapped my blog address with Gina's Gems.....a blog that highlights...a different
Gina's unique pasties.

In the last couple weeks I've received about a dozen emails about her products....inquiring on cost, on adhesive, and wondering about custom designs.

Huh? I didn't know I was in the pasties business....so a quick check of the net and a few replies and hopefully I have sent customers back to the right Gina.

All these questions about pasties had me wondering though.....can you get them off quickly? do they leave an adhesive residue?

And one more BIG question...do they hurt when you take them off....because there's nothing like setting a sexy scene then shrieking ouch ouch ouch!

Inquiring minds I guess.

Snowmen happen in the South.....

We only get snow a couple times a year.....so it's not unusual to see spontaneous snowmen spring up...sometimes in unusual places.

They're not just for kids down here.

Early morning 'round my house......

Snow Day

It's quiet in my house....the 5-6 inches of snow created a thick blanket of insulation around us.

Although for most people it's a snow day....my husband is a state employee and is considered "essential personnel." So early this morning....we warmed and moved cars on our driveway....scraped windows and kicked the snow around. He'll go downhill initially to work but then he'll have to drive up "Bale Hill"....also known as "Car Hill."

There's an auto dealership on top of the hill.....but when the rare snow hits us.....Car Hill will be littered on both sides of the road with abandoned or wrecked autos as southern drivers who aren't used to driving in snow flunk the attempt.

Yesterday I had to drive through the snow to get home from a meeting. I felt nervous and panicky. Yes, I had bread and milk at home...but somehow the 2-3 inches of snow was getting under my skin. Drivers were already doing stupid things ...not giving their cars enough gas to get up a hill.....turning sharply and braking.......and then a few idiots who were driving too fast. But I grew up in Chicago and went to college in Omaha were snow drifts rule in winter....surely I wouldn't forget winter driving lessons......but I think that's what made me nervous.....I was losing my confidence. I've lived too long in the south.....and a once or twice a year practice of snow driving doesn't keep your skills honed.

Fortunately, I made it home...safe and sound.....giving my car enough gas to make it up "Car Hill" and giving the finally push to get up my own hill...where my house sits.

I'm a little concerned about a small stray kitty we were feeding....she is, probably half feral, but we put a little food out in this cold weather for her. I found her snuggled up against my front door but as I soon as I opened the door she ran away.....hopefully to a better spot to shelter.

So as far as my snow day goes.....I'll grab one more cup of coffee and start working on the silent auction.....unfortunately or fortunately......email and texts still work.

Bluntcard.com

An amazing photo....

I am not sure how I stumbled upon this picture on the net....but it has haunted me for the last two days.

The picture is absolutely perfect....the light....the halo effect around the girl's head....the quiet startle effect.....the young in between adult and child huntress....South Africa....the gut reaction to a dead animal on a live animal.

The Visual Blog gives background on the picture:

"This year’s Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize at the National Portrait Gallery has been awarded to David Chancellor’s photograph Huntress with Buck. In the photograph we can see a young woman sitting on a horse looking down into the camera. The photograph appears to be slightly manipulated, as the area near the head of the main subject seems to be brightened to increase her aura. The low vantage point of the camera and the elevated position of the huntress have the effect that she looks grand and statuesque. In his photograph, Chancellor evokes the iconography of equestrian statues depicting knights, gods and military leaders. The central relationship is not between the huntress and her horse, but between the huntress and the buck lying dead across the horse’s back. The symbolism here is pretty clear: the horse is alive, the buck is dead, their bodies crossing each other where the huntress is sitting. The huntress is portrayed as killer as much as a nurturer.

In a sense, the huntress is at a crossroad herself: she is neither girl nor woman. Without the caption provided, the androgynous looks of the subject also fail to indicate a clear gender identity. It is perhaps an ungendered performance that is possible in the ‘wild’ settings the photograph was taken in. This notion of inbetweeness is further emphasized by the lighting: photographed when the sun was kissing the horizon, it is neither day, nor is it night. The low sunlight has the effect that all elements in the photograph come visually together as, for a brief moment, everything is steeped in a deep red colour."

Although the photograph was taken in South Africa, the girl is American from Alabama and ironically her last name is Slaughter. There's been much chatter on the web about rich girls keeping up the hunting traditions of royalty and the moral consequences of trophy hunting.

One article mentioned an interesting aspect of the picture.....neither animal....dead or alive looks at the camera....it is only the human being, who is capable of making moral decisions, who looks us into the eye and asks us....perhaps defies us to have an opinion.

Amazing.

My New Year's Weekend.....

Friday: pulled a muscle in my back.




Saturday: got a mild case of food poisoning which kicked in exactly two minutes after Midnight..



Sunday: started a fire in the oven....flames...billowing black smoke.

But I still remain optimistic about the coming year.

A song for your soul on the last day of the year.

More hot chocolate and chick movies

I think the men folks in our family are about to book a hotel and leave us.

My daughter and I have spent the last couple of days....enjoying cups of hot chocolate with whip cream in between chick flicks.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.....Saying Goodbye to Sarah Marshall....White Christmas....The Blind Side

Tonight I took her to the airport to send her back to Ohio.....a couple hours later I returned with her.

Her connecting flight from St. Louis to Ohio had been canceled because of the East Coast snowstorm a couple days ago and all other alternative routes were totally full....the official at the airport told her she would probably get home in a day or two.

Yikes....fortunately she has an understanding supervisor at work.

So....I'm about to head downstairs to make a cup of hot chocolate and pull out my last chick video in my collection.....Sleepless in Seattle.....one of our all time favorites.

I'm just "on hold" waiting for hub to return home with more whipped cream.
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A dangerous combo.....

All the kids are home and the temp dipped down into the 30's.

My husband's comfort food gene was activated.

Before I could blink an eye....he had left over smoked turkey and potatoes simmering in a homemade broth.....and was making biscuits from scratch.

Viola....turkey and fresh hot biscuits.

I would hate to think what would happen if we lived up north....and we had snow plus cold weather plus the kids.....we would probably live in a starch-induced coma for months!

Nothing like a cat in a sweater.......LOL>>>

And for a 100 more dashing felines in knits.....press here.....x

Hard to Believe

Hard to believe my wild stray nervous kitty that hissed at the slightest provocation....is now the gentle comfortable lazy princess which curls herself up in my silk comforter and snoozes for hours....and demands to be combed each morning....and wants fresh water at least twice a day.

Hail silky preened queen of the house!
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Ahhh ...the solstice

It is a gorgeous day here in the South....and 70 degrees.

Spring feels like it must be just around the corner.

I know winter will come back...cause it's not through with us...but today...when the days start getting longer...it's easy to believe the earth's rebirth is near.

There have been some winter solstice's when you really have to work hard to believe in hope and spring....but not this one.

Wouldn't it be nice if it was just that easy this year?

Oh well I'll wait another 140 years....

Well..... I tried to watch the lunar eclipse.

It was cloudy here in the South....so I found a live webcam with a perfect picture of the moon.

At 1am...not much was happening....I set my phone for 330am ...at least I thought I did....but the night slipped by and so did the lunar eclipse.

It's aint pretty but it's my hallway.......

Well we've started.

We are remodeling the second floor of the house.

I took everything from my parent's house and stored it in the garage....at least 200 boxes.

I then got stuck....how do we change out the bedroom carpets? install hardwood in some rooms? de-clutter and de-toy bedrooms that once held children and now hold young adults?

Spun my wheels for a while....then decided the only way to accomplish this was to work on one room at a time.....starting with my daughter's room and working around till we get to the master bedroom....then and only then hit the garage with all those boxes.

It took me a week to clean out her room and the carpet arrived over the weekend.

It's beautiful....but that leaves her closet her bathroom...the boys rooms....etc etc.

Looks like we are going to have to live a very cluttered life....with new mattresses waiting for new floors and Goodwill having a bonanza from old clothes and toys.

This spring after the literary festival and silent auction...I will tackle Ebay and figure out how to become a seller....for some reason I've been dreading the process....and then between Craig's list, Ebay and Goodwill....I hope to have a clean uncluttered life in about a year?

Then we have to make a decision about the kitchen. Oy.

Oh my "Fannie May" get big with all this candy

Childhood chocolate......mmmmmmmmmmm.

Thank G-d I grew up in Chicago and my local confectionier was Fannie May Candies. A candy company started in 1920 in the Windy City.

From my earliest memories there were Fannie May Easter Bunnies in my basket, Santas and Reindeer covered in foil for Christmas and of course mint meltaways.....a staple in our house whenever there was something to celebrate.

A good grade? A little mint meltaway....my mom completes her taxes for the year....a box of mint meltaways.....going to a dinner or birthday party....well one box as a gift and one box to stay home....that's only fair.

Every time I went back to Chicago I would get a little candy. I grew of fond of Trinadads...a dark chocolate center with a little coconut. I liked the sloppy cherry cordials and of course, the milk chocolate covered toffee. Oh yes. Very very good.

And then....Fannie May disappeared....bought out by a corporation that went belly up....stores closed and the chocolate disappared. But it lingered in so many memories a candy company bought Fannie May and reopened the operation sticking true to the original formula (no substitutions with cheap ingredients) and the stores reopened and all us kids no matter what age smiled.

This time around....Fannie May is hip....and headed for the internet. When I discovered I could ship Fanny May out.....I did....CyberMonday after Thanksgiving became my Cyber Chocolate day and I happily sent boxes out to friends and family.....with a smile on my face....chocolate fits all sizes and tastes.

I even ordered myself a two pound box of chocolate with all my favorites.

My family is complaining they haven't seen the box yet....that's because I've hidden it in my daughter's old bedroom and each day....I go in there once ( or twice) and treat myself to a little chocolate....because I'm sure I'm on Santa's nice list and because I'm sure I deserve it...LOL>>

Santa as Ben Hur

Santa as Ben Hur.....very wrong.
And what happened to the reindeer?
Gladiator meets Rudolph in the Colosseum?
Is that the Naughty and Nice book in Santa's hand?
What's Santa going to do....... a thumbs up or down for the little ones?
Bad Santa
Very Bad Santa

A card for everything

I was hunting for a wedding card when I stumbled across the "troubled love/relationship/friendship" section.

I had mixed feelings when I saw these "greetings."

Part of me thought....it was a cop out. If you were in love with someone and were "troubled" you should talk to them. If you had a relationship with someone and you were ending it...you should talk to them.

But that is before our lives went digital....and now you can simply email or tweet "The End" to someone without ever having to talk to them or see their face or face their sorrow/dismay/hurt.

I suppose, on the other hand, sending a card could be seen as a door opener to conversation.

The sent card signifies there's a problem, a concern, trouble and the recipient will likely have a response.

"Go to Hell" ... "Let's have lunch" ..."I'm not sure what's going on"...a thousand other phrases are possible.

Maybe cards for troubled relationships bother me because I'm female....and women seem, in general, more willing to talk ....more desirous to clear the air. Isn't that what the famous "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" book was about? Women would be happy to sit on a rock and talk and talk and talk.....while men would rather find a cave in a big rock and retreat to read a book or watch TV.

Hmmmm perhaps a for a man buying a card is really progress.....because a man is attempting.... through Hallmark.....to start the ball rolling even though it's a ball he would sometimes prefer not to catch or throw.

Well...nothing to worry about.....I was there for a wedding card....which meant most likely the couple was doing okay and were happy to get together.....I guess they can find their own "troubled-let's talk" card when the time comes.
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