Giant half-naked women on trucks and Girlie Cards....More things I learned about on my Vacation

I was sitting in our rental car wondering where our hotel was located on the "Strip."

Stalled in bumper to bumper traffic, we weren't moving anywhere in this part of Vegas.

I bent over to grab my cell phone and noticed the half naked woman on rear door of the truck in front of us.

HOT BABES

THEY REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.

702-555 5555


I stretched from one side to the other and saw that each side of the truck had a large picture of a blond-haired woman clad in black lacy lingerie .

She was reclining in the classic men's magazine pose: lips parted and tugging at her bikini bottom....the ...I-must-pull-these-off-RIGHT-NOW!...look.

This was not a small truck....consequently.....this woman was HUGE.

"Huh. Do you see the woman on the truck in front of us?"

Hub was staring straight ahead and probably had been for a long time....he was being a very attentive driver....and probably had been oggling her for miles.

Since I like words...I couldn't help but focus on the short one liner under her body......They really want to meet you.

So interesting....because ...by inserting the word "really"......it implies that these women are guaranteed to like you.... a man doesn't have to fear rejection.

In other words....no worries....unlike women in the real world....these women will always welcome your presence.

Another truck with a similar billboard passed by. I felt a pang of ......discomfort.

Yes...it's Vegas....but ....geeez 12 foot high girlie ads are just so .....obvious.

Turning my attention to the sidewalk crowds.....I noticed groups of men in bright hunter orange t-shirts in clumps every couple blocks. The shirts were stiff...new and cheap....and worn over dingy clothes.

GO GO GO GIRLS

They were handing out something.

"I wonder what they're giving out?" I said to hub.

"Trading Cards."

"What?"

"Girlie Trading cards. There are some on the back seat."

"What?? Where?"

I twisted around and searched the back seat until I found 4 trading cards. Cody. Hope. Suri. Stacey.

"Where did you get these?"

"They were handing them out at the gas station where we picked up the sodas."

"How come you didn't show them to me????"

Hub was silent. It was a dangerous moment for him.

Was I miffed he picked them up or kept them??? or was I miffed because he hadn't share this interesting little treasure????

Sensing his distress....I let him off the hook.

"These are so...interesting. Girlie trading cards. Look at the little credit card logos. Hmmmm...why is Hope running a special for $37....why would a woman be on sale?????? I mean if she's a prostitute isn't she on sale already???? What do you think you get for $47?? Do you think it's just the price to get to the door????? How much do they do?????

My hub is a diplomatic and cautious man who has lived with me a long time. If he knew the answers....he probably figured it was best not to tell me ...... and if he didn't know the answers...he was content to listen to my ever growing wave of questions.

I tucked the trading cards into my purse...since we finally saw the sign for our hotel.

During our entire stay in Vegas, a steady stream of giant almost-naked women cruised back and forth along the Strip..... and every few blocks a sad cluster of men ( I say sad...only because all the men were very short dark Hispanic men who appeared not to understand or speak much English...and looked uncomfortable) in orange shirts handed out more cards.

Just before leaving Vegas, I decided to hold out my hand as we passed one of them.....to get a few more cards. The man ....looked shocked....he was obviously programmed to offer cards to any man passing by....but not a woman.

He reluctantly gave me a few cards.

Hub rolled his eyes. I imagine it's not easy living with a curious woman.

"Look here.......right on top.....a Gina card!!!.....and she's special .....only 47.00....Do you think we should call her...and just see what they say?? I mean...don't you wonder how they talk to a client....what they say ...what they offer to do??"

My hub suggested a gellato...which in hub-speak means......spare me from the inquisition.

So.... I pouted...and ordered a hazelnut concoction.....and became quiet and pensive ....thinking of men and women and sex and fun and using people as toys....I mean.... is it okay to use people as toys if there is mutual consent to be toys to each other???? what if one person sees the other person as real and one person sees the other as a toy??

Fortunately my gellato dripped all over my pants..... which in real-life means....can it.

"Hey....Let's go buy some t-shirts for the kids."

I tucked Gina in my purse for the trip home.

This weekend...I'm going to give her a call and find out what they say and what they do. I mean ...I have caller-ID block....and don't you really want to know at least if they say ...."Hello I'm Gina???? And what would they say to a woman?? How do they sound???

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Things I learned on my trip......never touch the towels....they could turn into monkeys.

The best part of traveling is learning and seeing new things.

So I thought I would share the wealth of my trip over the next few days.

The first thing I want to share is an art form ...new to me.....Towel Art.

Yes ....Towel Art.

I heard of the craft, actually seen a how-to book in my bookstore, but thought this art form was only observed in far off spas....where people who had spent way too much time in a steam bath or had way too many hot rocks placed on them....desperately twisted towels in a vain attempt to remember shapes from the real world.

But ahhh.....I learned Towel Art... is the main art form in cruise land.

Here's some art that greeted us after dinner in our room:

The cute pooch

The cuddly koala

The care-free monkey

and my favorite.....the jaunty penis.

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(It's supposed to be a penis right? My hub thought it might be a strange ant eater....or aardvark??? But not me.....anything with two testicles and a stalk in between ...weighs in as a penis......okay I can't explain the little feet....but hey....you're bound to see exotic things when you travel the seas.)

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It's Vegas Baby.....lol

I can't remember of if said....Yippee....or Yeee ha......when I walked into our hotel room....but I'm actually glad to be here because:

1) The hotel is stationary....i.e. it does not go up and down and bob in the water.

2) It's huge......(size matters....) my hotel bathroom is bigger than the cruise cabin I lived in for the last 5 days.

3) It's a surprise.....I went online just before we got on the boat....looked at hotels deals and just went ennneeee meeeene minnnneeee mo.... and the winner was The Venetian......lots of stars....special price...huge suites.

4) Oh ho....Vegas seems a bit fun....I've been here 2 or 3 times....and never left feeling that way....but perhaps there's enough great restaurants....and spas and shops and other stuff to do besides gambling now......or I'm just being seduced by the ultra thick embroided bath robe.

Our little suite.......

Hard to believe but the swimming pool is located on the 4th floor....or one of the roofs....only in Vegas...hey?

Our TV screen saver....what did you expect a palm tree ???

Heading for Shore.....

Whoa maties.....up and down and up and down and.....what are you thinking???

Of course....I'm back on the ship after a very sentimental day in Ensenda...a place I knew a zillion years ago when we lived in San Bernardino for a year while hub was in training.

Have pictures....have stories......have art.....

but have only a few Internet minutes left......

so...it's off the boat tomorrow morning.....a drive through the desert ......and arriving in hunka hunka burning love land (aka Las Vegas) for a glittery night before we head back home.

See ya then.....

The tip of the Baja

Well here I am.....at the tip of the Baja penisula....obviously having survived....a night...a "fun day at sea" and Los Cabos.

It's been an interesting trip.....great to be with family....but the boat experience....feels like I was walking along a block in Las Vegas and someone came along .... cut the block of earth up and sent it out to sea.

Carnival Cruise Lines is sort of the everyman-type cruise. There's well coiffed folks and folks that look like they just walked off a Walmart parking lot.

I've seen more cellulite than I would ever want to (oh god some people should not wear daisy duke shorts and swimsuits without skirts)...along with enough fake boobs to be comforted that if something happens to the ship...I'll just grab one of these gals ...because there are huge floaties riding on some chests here.

The food has also ranged from very nice dinner and wine combinations with pleasant even artistic presentations to a buffet where people are totally into piling on food in mass quantities.

I've had times of claustrophobia.....and a bit of motion sickness....and the fun day at sea probably would be more fun if I enjoyed Bingo...or games....or lectures on shopping....instead I found myself pacing back and forth on a deck, that for some reason, was devoid of folks.....feeling restless and very confined for a few hours. But Sunday (our day at sea) ...was also my hub's birthday...so we had a celebratory bottle of wine before dinner.....and I was happy we celebrated with family around.

When we docked this morning......I couldn't wait to get off the ship and on to land....but Los Cabos....is strange place....gorgeous to look at....desert hills and mountains perched on the beach....but also a thousand million condos.... for Americans and Europeans. I have a feeling not many natives can afford the mega mansions built on the hillsides.

It was 92 degree and at least 95% humidity when we got off the ship....and within a few hours....the intense heat and humidity ....made me weary...that and the fact that my shopper's eye found nothing to be happy about....all the shops sell the exact same stuff just in different colors. There was even a mall which we stepped into to escape the heat....but it was the same stores I've seen elsewhere. I was sure there might be a store or two....a vendor with something unique....but I only found one place which had artistic and unique gifts....unfortunately....the prices were also unique.

Perhaps I did this port wrong....I should have just signed up for a jet ski...slathered on the sun screen and joined all the other folks out on the ocean. Regrettably.....all that happened is .....I came back exhausted.....and literally peeled off my drenched sweaty clothes and layed naked on the bed till my core body temperature went back down to normal.

Geez....I must have gotten soft over the last few months of work...if I can't take a tropical temp and humidity....for a few hours....oh .....what's become of me???....lol

The boat will be leaving soon......for another "fun day at sea".....before reaching Ensenada......it's a time when the boat has you captive.....but I'll be better prepared this time.....I've pulled my books out....a sketch pad....some mags....and I've already scouted out a place or two that may be quiet and in the shade.

I'm also ready to enjoy some of my favorite characters on the ship during our confinement at sea........although there are 2000 folks here....it's amazing how people you start recognizing....my favorites are Girdle girl and her cowboy boyfriend ( a volumptious woman who wears a tan body stocking down to her thighs which shows when the winds blows her dresses up in the air)....Maori arms....(a buff guy with interesting tattoos).....Short Stud.....(a gorgeous upper body dad with 4 young daughters who follow him around).....Gross Pizza man ..( a guy weighing at least 450 pounds who sits at the buffet and eats whole pizzas all day)....the Kissing Couple....(a large girl with multiple tattoos and burgundy hair on her honeymoon with a man who has hair like Elvis).....and Donna....(a woman I envy because she is going to be heading off to Ghana with her family to live for a couple of years since her hub works for the American Embassy ).

Maybe they'll have another "chest contest" tomorrow.....the one thing I did find funny....on my previous day at sea....was the "best chest contest"....featuring a group of guys. I hooted and clapped for one cute guy....who eventually won......I presume to be fair.....they'll have a "chest contest" for women tomorrow? Hmmm...they better have it in two sections......natural and enhanced. Damn....where did I put that push up bra????

Oh ho....we're moving.....heading out to sea....I hope I didn't lose my sea legs.....the trick is ...it seems to relax....the ocean...it moves up and down....just like someone breathing......interesting it feels just like that....interesting it's the same rhythm we have in our own body...I like that part of the ocean.....

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Los Cabos

Its moving!

Bait

A few minutes to relax then lifeboat drills

Oh ho. Razors and fiber pills are in our freebie bathroom basket

Our cabin

Here I go!

Da boat!!

Yikes. Here it is our little behemoth. No wonder they call it a
carnival cruise because the port is like a carnival.....with buses and
taxis and cars unloading luggage and people. I just have to send this
and step on board.....well here I go......
Sent from my iPhone

Heading out to Sea......

Well....bags are repacked....passports ready.....we head off to the dock in just a few minutes to meet my hub's family and get on board a carnival cruise ship to Ensenda and Los Cabos in Mexico.

I have mixed feelings. I'm excited to see my in-laws...but I just don't know about the boat thing. Everyone that knows me....laughed when I told them I was going on a Carnival cruise. I guess I seem a bit too independent in my traveling habits to inhabite a floating hotel for a few days....but heck....I'm sure it will be an experience....and fun...and I'm sure I'll have a ton of stories....ain't that what life is all about?

So....it's Bon Voyage for me......LOL>>>

Out of the Valley

A few hours ago....if you asked me where I worked.....where I lived.....even what my name was.....I would have given you a puzzled look.

That's what three days in the desert can do to you......it scrubs you clean....erases your worry....and sometimes even erases who you are....it's like resetting an internal clock to a new time....and a new date.

Death Valley was incredible.

We escaped Las Vegas and the mega traffic jam in the middle of the afternoon....and arrived at Furnace Creek as the sun was thinking about slipping behind the Panamint Mountains.

When we first drove past the posh inn at Furnace Creek....I wondered if I had made a mistake to book the simple...historic little cottages a few miles down the road. But when I opened the door to the clean little unit...with a porch and a couple of chairs to sit on....I knew it was a good decision....the big hotel had been renovated and now looked like any Marriott any where in the world.....but this little cottage....on Dante's Lane...was a throw back to an early age...when people summered in the desert for their health and spent weeks soaking up the sun and the warm spring waters.

We threw our bags in the cottage and took a walk...and within a few minutes....a huge silver full moon....rose up from behind the mountains to the east. The moon was so bright...it seemed like someone turned a thousand gray lights on.....but despite the glow....the whole valley had quieted down... there was no traffic....no bugs....no sounds.....just moonlight and a few stars.

We went back to our cottage and found we had neighbors...each cottage is divided into two units. The man and woman were retired folks from Denmark....sitting out on the chairs smiling like little kids.

"It's so cold where we are from...we are so happy to sit outside.".....They were dressed in t-shirts and shorts and sipping a cold beer...and their happiness...at being warm...at sitting outside with a beautiful warm breeze....in just the essentials in clothing....was so pervasive....it seemed to add a glow to our little place.

The next morning....I woke hub up early.

"It's time to get up and go into the desert."

"It seems so dark."

"Well...it's already 7:15 so you better hurry up."

Hub dutifully got up and moving...before realizing....I had stretched the truth a bit....it was 7:15 am central time.....but only 5:15 am Pacific time....but hey....it worked and we were out the door and watching the sun rise .....watching it paint the barren rocky mountains with a deep red glow....as it rose.

Over the next days....we hiked in a small field of dunes.....hiked a gorgeous shady high walled canyon......and also found a place I named....Play doh canyon...because the high walls of ancient soft smooth mud...made you feel like you were walking through a kid's Play doh project.

At times....we felt like we were visiting a foreign land in the park...not because of the scenery but because we were the only English speaking/Americans around.

The place was full of French, German, Spanish and other European folks. I guess the American Dollar is so deflated....coming here is a bargain....and there are no great deserts like this in their countries.

Funny ...I noticed ....the majority of them seemed to be renting Mustangs or Mustang convertibles. Every time we saw a Mustang...out popped someone speaking French or German. We theorized....they love big engined cars....because the majority of cars in Europe are small..and fuel efficient.....and of course ....who doesn't want to go vroom vroom in the desert with our top down?

I took a gazillion pics ....with my reg camera....and I'll post a few when I return home....I was forced into electronic silence in the valley.....because there is no cell service 200 feet below sea level in the park.....and no Internet service.....I actually had to call my son with a regular telephone....a land line from the room...and leave a message on how to call us and ask for our room number. Wow...that was like in the prehistoric days.....but I survived....and we survived...and even my kids survived without us for a few days....

although I will tell you....that when we crossed over into California....and our cell phones reenergized.....the first messages went like this from the kids: my cell phone is dying....I think you may have to get me another one....my car is not working....what do I do...and nothing from my daughter...which means she hasn't figured out we're actually on vacation yet.
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Racing out of Vegas to get to Death Valley

The Funeral Mountains bordering the East side of DV

Heading off into the Valley to find a hiking trail

Resting on a cold slab of marble in a canyon

The Medicine is Ready!

A while back.....I made some medicine according to my grandma's recipe....honey, a special aloe cactus and some good whiskey.

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Checked the bottle yesterday...and the cactus pieces finally sunk. It's ready!

Beautiful....a golden hazy color.

Absolutely perfect!!

Sweet ....warm ....honey-laden....with a gentle kick.

Had one more "dose" before bed....slept like a baby!!

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Who Shall Live and Who Shall Die....

On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed, And on Yom Kippur it is sealed.

How many shall pass away and how many shall be born,

Who shall live and who shall die......

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My friend Amos, who is Jewish, sent me a utube video last week....where this prayer- poem.....called U'Netaneh Tokef ....is set to haunting music. It's the High Holy Days, the time between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the time when the Unetenah Tokef is read.

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Ever since I watched the video...the prayer has been running through my head.....

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Who shall reach the end of his days and who shall not,

Who shall perish by water and who by fire,

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My father-in-law died right after I posted my last blog.

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Who shall have rest and who shall wander,

Who shall be at peace and who shall be pursued,

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My husband's parents......both have died within the last 6 months.

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Who shall be exalted and who shall be brought low,

Who shall become rich and who shall be impoverished.

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It is strange to think of them being predestined to die ....to think that God said last September........Ted and Eleanor.....I'm writing your name down.

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But repentance, prayer and righteousness avert the severe decree

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Such sweet people....Eleanor so religious....Ted so full of intelligence and good humor....did they not repent? ....were they not righteous enough to erase their names and change their fates?

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I searched the web to see if others felt questions about what this prayer meant...... and found a very beautiful interpretation of this reading...by a Rabbi from California. He was lecturing on the predestiny aspect of this prayer .

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He said....that the poem is not about others.....but about ourselves.....that we should change the

"Who" ....into "I".......

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I shall live and I shall die, I shall reach the end of my days and I shall not, I shall perish by water and by fire, I shall experience famine and thirst, and feel the earthquake.... and rest and wander, and be peace ......and be tormented.......

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In other words....in the course of a year....I will experience so many trails and so many opportunties...so many hardships....so many moments of peace....

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but if I can strive to be kind.......generous.... treat others well......show compassion....look for chances to serve...... continue to grow......I will change my fate.......because I will move beyond just experiencing these things.....I will be more than an inscription.....of what can happen ....in a life.....I can move into becoming a better person in spite of and because of my experiences.

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And when the Rabbi finished his video sermon....and the audience applauded.....I found myself .....

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quietly saying......

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Amen

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Who Shall Live and Who Shall Die....

Juggling the Jello...........

This evening...my brother-in-law called..... I was chatty and light...asking him how he was doing and making a few jokes about our family reunion next week.

My father-in-law recently broke his hip but since my hub's sister phones on health status, I thought this was a social call....instead....... he wanted to tell my hub that his Dad...had taken a turn for the worse and may not live through the night.

I felt like such an asshole....I wanted to crumple up into a ball and have someone kick me out the front door and down the street.

Yeah...Ms Chit Chat...perking her way through the beginning of a serious phone call about her father's in-laws health.

Strange....but throughout the evening before the call I was thinking about outward behavior....MASKS........how we wear them....how we look to other people.......how we hide our feelings and concerns behind them.

Today I had a chat with someone....who for the second or third time this week.... told me how 98% of the time I seem happy and perky and positive.

I wanted to turn around and see who the hell he was talking about.....

At work, I battle to hold my tongue........I feel my arteries pulse with stress......I feel inadequate and bad when I say things poorly to my fellow workers or customers.... I feel rushed and aloof and insensitive to the people around me.....I see my bad habits....my desire to go completely negative at times.....I'm carrying all kinds of sorrow inside me......my mother's oscillating dementia...my poor relationship with her....trying to readjust to a partial empty nest......

...........and here's this guy telling me that to the world....... I'm happy and perky and positive.

Am I the biggest fake that ever lived or is everyone in the same boat?

And yet....when I think of myself at work today......I see...what he saw.... there's me joking and laughing with an employee..... putting on the full Gina comedy stick.

So am I .....Ms. Perky or Ms. Fucked up?

I haven't got a clue.

Wait....I'll check my driver's license.....damn.....I'm not a teenager.....does that mean....till the time I'm a dust ball....I'm going to juggle.....happy mask......private mask....social mask.....work mask.....covering a core of ........what?

Did I miss something?

Was I absent when they discussed this in Life 101.??

Don't tell me we are all gobs of emotional jello poured daily into cute little molds....round on one day...fluted on another....and packed with fruit cocktail and cool whip on special occasions.

God I wish I was my cat.....who's sleeping soundly on my desk ....without a trace of existential angst.

Wake up damn cat and feel my pain ......

............................or you ain't getting any fucking happy cat tuna with sauce tonight.

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Back to sand and rock......

In 12 days....I will be back in the desert.

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12 days....and I can shed the work work work mentality I've acquired over the last couple months....and .....return to sand and rock..... at least for a few days.

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About a year ago, my sister-in-law started planning a family reunion on a Carnival cruise which departs from San Diego... heads to Los Cabos, Mexico, on the tip of the Baja peninsula, then back.

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When I pulled out the map to look at Los Cabos.....what I saw....was an opportunity.

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If we flew into Las Vegas.....rented a car....we could spend a few days in the desert before we go a-cruising.

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Of course this was all planned before I returned to work full time.... so I'm leaving for the desert and the cruise....in the middle of an extreme work cycle.

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And yet...if there was a small window of time to go in this crunch period....this would be the exact time slot.

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Funny how that happened.

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Perhaps there is some kismet, karma....or a nice god watching out for me.

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But until I leave....I have work work work....major event....and more work.....

and then perhaps a miracle......

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a chance to walk quietly among soft sand dunes.... hear nothing

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but the wind... feel nothing...... but the earth.... at least for a few days.

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