The Start of the Next Phase........

I blew the sawdust off one of the boxes in my garage (hub's woodworking hobby is dusty) and gently slid a knife under the tape. The box opened in a small cloud of dust and 10 folders where neatly packed inside.

My dad was a newspaper-magazine junkie and he just couldn't bare to let thoughtful interesting articles and great pictures find a home in the recycle bin. He saved them....but instead of stacking them in a empty bin or tossing them into a file cabinet.....he took the time to place the articles in plastic sleeves and then into notebooks. I'm not sure how many notebooks I took from the house.....10 here....10 there....perhaps some others wedged in between stuff in the boxes.

Although I still have the lit fest to watch over next weekend, I started the next phase of my life, which should last about two years. I've got three major projects to work on: go through the boxes from my parents and decide what to save, sell or give away// go through and organize the second floor of my house and attic//study for my bat mitzvah.

I've already told folks I'm cutting back on volunteering and doing extra projects. I love helping out but.....whenever I get neck deep into these projects.....I ignore my house and my finances.

I don't necessarily want to dwell on my house, the stuff in it, and my finances. But I've got those 200 boxes in my garage, family history scattered all over, important papers here and there and not much organization.

My parents' death really affected me in many ways.....and hard hit has been my sense of stuff. I don't want clutter....I don't want junk.....I just want the essential and fun stuff around. I want to open my cabinets and find just the stuff I need. I want my art and collectibles out so I can live with them and look at them....and I want to document what I have so the kids can understand what it is gathering dust and then make good decisions about whether to cherish or move on.

It is so easy when you have fun projects or interesting volunteer work to close your eyes to all this...but if I keep doing this....when will organize it? I guess I can say.....oh it's something I can do when I'm older.....but if I wait 10 years.....I'll just have more stuff and more chaos.

So it starts......I went through 5 notebooks. I went through them one by one.....because dad...bless him.....sometimes he would stick an important little piece of family history or a photo at random in one of these books. In Chicago, I found a birth certificate for a relative stuck in the middle of one of these notebooks...with no rhyme or reason I could discern for putting it there.

So....page by page I look........and marvel at what dad saved.....pictures of beautiful women....crazy fun ads.....articles on politics and World War II.....secret health tips....secrets financial tips....gardening ideas .....Chicago history.....Polish cuisine....and tons and tons of recipes....even though I never saw my dad do anything more warm up soup in the microwave.

My goal is to do 1.5 boxes a week....open ....inspect and make decisions....if there are 200 boxes in the garage (I'm hoping there is not more) then it should take me about 18 months to get them all decided on.

I'm ready to do this.......

Wild Kitty is Recovering......

Wild Kitty is back at home getting used to a new routine.

I captured her and took her to the vet where there was all kind of grim news....mostly centered around her being too young and too small to have a real decent chance of having kittens.

So she had surgery....and is spayed now. She came up negative for feline leukemia....and seemed to be in good health.

When we brought home she was in a big dog kennel from the vet and since we have a kennel too we transferred her from the vet's kennel to our kennel which is stacked on top of Mattie, our deaf dog's, spot in the garage. I thought she would recover better in the garage than in the house....the garage door is often open and she could smell and see the outdoors versus the strange scents of indoors.

Trouble is kitty looks so small yet and so vulnerable....that I'm not sure I want to let her outside again. So this week....we are experimenting. She sleeps in her cage out in the garage at night and we've been putting her in the laundry room during the day. At first she was very frightened...but now seems to enjoy the laundry room....she opens a lower cabinet and sleeps on some old towels when she wants....or she curls up into a laundry basket with some nice dirty clothes. We've found she is fond of strings....and have searched our junk drawers for all the loose shoe strings....which we dangle in front of her ...much to her delight.

So far so good.....she's letting up pick her up and touch her....even purring in the process. She is recovering nicely and getting her appetite back. She's learned to use a litter box.....and seems quite content with the arrangements.

I guess we'll see if she can blend with the other animals....if not we'll keep working on socialization and see if we can find someone who will her adopt her. She's cute as a button.....and she just might socialize well...with enough lovin'.

Decision time with Kitty

I made a decision....Kitty's belly is getting rounder and the more I read online about a kitten giving birth to a kittens the more I worried about her.

So I called the vet who gave me a humane cat catcher and left it on our porch for a couple of days for her to get used to it.

Then....I didn't feed her in the evening....and slipper her food into the cage this morning.

Oh she pranced and meowed and sniffed and did not like it at all.

But finally, when I threw a piece of deli turkey meat in it.....she went in and it snapped closed.

Her eyes got as big as saucers and glazed with fear.

I put her and the cage in the car and headed off to the vet.

I'll go back later this afternoon to talk to him about what he found......he's going to lightly sedate her so he can examine her.

Oh kitty kitty

I arrived home.....disoriented. Time in Ohio....Time in Chicago....and 10 hours of an audio book on the way home made me feel like I was in another world.

When I looked at my kitty I freaked......"Look at you! Look at you and your belly!"

My wild kitty purred and purred and rubbed herself against my leg and gratefully sat down on the doormat which became warm when I turned the heating pad on.

I felt her bulging sides. "Oh dear oh dear."

I called the vet and basically they suggested I catch her and bring her in. A cat too young can experience multiple problems giving birth....including losing the litter and potentially even losing the mother, who is now called a "queen."

My first attempt yesterday at catching her failed miserably. She was sitting on my front porch all day until it was vet time. I tried to give her some scratchies with my son in the background discretely holding the kennel.

No way....she split in seconds.

It was if she had some 6th sense about the proceedings.

This morning I tried a different tactic.....duct taped my sleeves so her claws couldn't find my tender skin.....and tried to pet then snatch her.

No way.

Kennel with food.

No way.

Enticing her into the house with treats.

No way.

So kitty sits on my doorstep as round as a barrel and I can't seem to secure her. The vet is trying to find a humane cat-catcher cage. Kitty seems pretty wary of anything cage-like so I'm not confident she'll go after the food even if she's hungry.

She looks up at me in all her roundness and purrs.....while I just shake my head and say, "Oh kitty kitty, what are we going to do?"

Farklempted

There was an old Saturday Night Live sketch where two Jewish ladies talk about things and one of them becomes overwhelmed with emotion and she says...."I'm farklempted.... talk amongst yourselves"

I only know a few words in Yiddish but I truly understand "farklempted" in my bones now.


I feel farklempted and I just haven't been able to speak....it's like my voice can't come out of my emotions and my life experiences these past two weeks.

The Silent Auction went very well.

There was a major snafu at the dinner when the executive director told everyone the aucton would be end at a different time than the time it was scheduled to end.....whooops....and my helpers picked up all the sheets from the tables instead of just the top sheet .....yikes.......but....by the time the dinner and auction was over.....I had smoothed most ruffled feathers and gotten the right sheet back on the tables.

I was so tired I could have laid down on the floor and not moved.....it was 11pm....and I had been at the hotel working non-stop since 830am. Unfortunatley, someone forgot to schedule much of a clean up crew.....so my hub and I dragged things bit by bit to the car (all the hotels luggage carts were in use).....and I made my way home at 145am. I do not remember driving home....I do not remember pulling into my driveway.....but I did find myself in bed....and promptly at 730am....had a very upset cat staring at my closed eyeballs and meowing.

Everyone over the next day or two congradulated me....but I felt bad two big items didn't have bids and I found the bids a little under what I expected.... I felt some of the items should have brought in a lot more money.

As I tallied things up, I wondered if there was a better way to make money for the organization. I wasn't sure the silent auction was cost effective....all the time that was put in it versus the rate of return. This weekend I'm going to send in my final report....and I'm going to suggest....thinking out of the box.....maybe all this work isn't the best way to do things. I'm not sure how that will go over....since the auction is a very old tradition at the dinner.

I was only home a day or two before I headed from the jaws of the silent auction to my daughter's wedding plans. Ouch/ugh/oy

Although I had given her a specific budget to work within.....she had mostly ignored it. She booked a way too expensive photographer.....and I'm suspicious that the venue was overpriced too. When I looked at her plans.....my stomach sank.....we had given her and her fiance a good chunk of money in order to buy a house and start some renovations and she seemed to still be planning a wedding out of Brides Magazine and out of my budget.

So after talking to my husband.....I had to tell her that things were straying off course.

I found this very hard to do...and developed a lot of angst/anxiety/unhappiness.

Was I being cheap or realistic? She is my only daughter but I have two other children.....all who could marry too. In this case, her fiance's parents are going traditional....they are paying for a rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon but nothing else....so everything falls on our shoulders.

But my son could get married to a modern woman whose family says lets' split this wedding 50/50 or some other combination. In addition, the marriage business is a business and one geared to making princesses and there is so so much stuff way out of line. Like the cake.....the way she was heading....the cake could cost us 800.00. I thought this was just crazy.

So there I was......being the giant pin to her balloon fantasies. I told her she will have a qaulity wedding but we were not going to get crazy. She wanted to send "save the date" magnets to people which would have cost 200.00 for 40 magnets. In the end....she is going to send out custom postcards we designed for about 50.00. Am I being nuts? Shrewed or a shrew?


Plus my daughter's style and my style of decision making clashed......she must look at everything....think of all the alternatives ....think some more.....think just a bit longer....and then make a decision. I'm more action oriented....let's decide what we want... find it and pay for it amen.

The postcards took us almost a complete day to design and decide upon.....I went numb.

I finally had to tell her we needed a break....I wanted to scream....a fricking postcard shouldn't take a whole day....but I bit my tongue....I love her and this is important to her....so I simply retreated to the guest room and covered my head and my body for a while with a gigantic fluffy comforter.

After a couple of long talks with my husband....I realized I'm going to have to be reality for them. No an open bar does not mean.....thousands of dollars on liquor....it means something appropriate for a couple hour party....this is not a frat party. And no....we are not spending 800.00 dollars for the cake.....yes...you can have a spiffy bridal cake but the cake that is cut out of site and is served to guests can be a good quality cake that doesn't cost 6.00 a slice. We went over to a gourmet bakery....taste tested some terrific cakes and cupcakes and discovered by not mentioning the word wedding ....we could find wonderful baked goods with a much better price point.

I left Ohio exhuasted and confused. Why weren't these kids sticking to a budget? Why weren't they thinking these things through....it's like I said here's the budget and they said....that's nice...but of course you'll pay for anything we want.

I drove in a daze to Chicago. When I arrived, I climbed into the hotel bed at 730pm and just hid under the blankets not moving. If there was something called shell shocked wedding .....I was experiencing it.

Today I got up and visited my parents grave, cried and then had a nice visit with my mom's good friend. But I was nervous and anxious all day.....because for the first time since my high school days....I was going to visit my Aunt and her daughter.


My father and his sister had some kind of disagreement way back then and never talked to each other again. My Aunt did not attend my wedding and I didn't even know if she was alive to know about my parents' deaths. But through the power of Facebook, her daughter discovered me shortly after I buried my parents last year. So yes, my Aunt was alive, she had a slow growing lung cancer, and still lived in my grandparent's house. Would I come see her next time I was in town.


So I drove back to the old neighborhood.....opened a heavy glass door I knew as a kid.....and walked into my Aunt's apartment. She looked very good and was still fiesty. We sat at the old kitchen table and she began asking me a million questions. But suddenly, she stopped.


"It's Ash Wednesday...do you want to go to church for ashes?"

"No," I said.

She narrowed her gaze on me and said, "Why not?"

"Because I converted and am Jewish now."


Man....you could have heard a pin drop. My Aunt, her daughter and husband and two children just stared at me.


So...somebody had to break the silence....because it had gone on forever.

"What church do you go to now that St. George's has been torn down?" There was a flurry of answers and observations about local churches and the impasse was broken....but I bet it will be the topic of conversation some other time in their household.

There was a little eating.....a little drinking......and I confessed I had to hit the road.

"I am so glad you have returned into our lives" my Aunt said.....but I actually felt too confused to answer.....they were all so different than I remembered and there education and lives were so different too living in the old neighborhood that I was just rather all.....farklempted again....and just hugged everyone and said nothing.

And so here I am still a little farklempted....there's been so much to deal with....to think about....and to just live through these past two weeks.....it's been overwhelming....

Tomorrow....I will hop in a car and head home....hoping the long drive home will give me some time to rearrange my thoughts and just think....

Of course there is one final dilemna waiting for me at home.....my wild kitty came back ....she had been chased away and gone for a day or so.....but right before I left.....her belly felt big.....so she either has something wrong with her belly OR she is pregnant.

I looked it up before I left home...a wild kitty can become pregnant at 4 months old. Kittens. What the hell am I going to do with kittens? If there is a word that describes uber-farklempted....I am there even considering this.

The Silent Auction

It was organized and pretty and snappy and people said, "Wow"

A couple days before the Big Show

Well it's two days till the Big Silent Auction....and I have goosebumps I'm so exhausted and nervous.

Things haven't been going well for the past couple weeks....I take that back....some things have gone well....other things have not.

I'm getting items and donations and they have been logged in...and all is well with the growing stack that will go to the auction.

What hasn't gone well is that I have been stiffed...Yes....stiffed. Someone who I thought was a friend....who was supposed to be my partner for this last month and help me with this phase of the auction...suddenly said "oh sorry" I can't help and went off and did other things. No illness...or family crisis...or pressing problems.....just gee I've lost interest in doing all this work now.

So in the last two weeks I've written 118 narratives ...little write-ups on the donors along with graphics and other things. Things that were supposed to be a job split 50/50.

I've been dog-tired at night......but unable to fall asleep as my adrenaline is high and my hurt meter is also high. It's hard to be stiffed by a person who you thought was a friend....this abrupt...so sorry I'm out of here....without an explanation....has been tough. She has done a few thngs .. probably out of guilt and probably cause some people who have told me I look like shit....have wondered too why she dropped this project to work for someone else.

I have my theories...but even in a somewhat anonymous blog ....it's best to keep my lips glued....as we know....flapping lips can cause a problem.

And to top things off tonight....my wild kitty has not come home for the first time in 2 months. She has grown a lot....made it through freezing temperatures....and today two big dogs where roaming around the neighborhood. She took off and is still hiding or has wandered off and is lost or is hunkered down. She has never missed an evening meal....so of course I am worried...and just lately she has allowed me to touch her more and more....we have a real bond going...and now...I'm worried. And I just said to myself this morning....when this auction is over I'm going to get her a small collar so people will know she's not a stray.

If she doesn't come home for breakfast....I'll be a wreck...just what I need....being a wreck on top of being a wreck for the auction.

I've been looking forward to the day after....but I know in the back of my head there's a lot of paperwork to do....and a lot of followup....including writing up 120 thank you notes by hand.

I've got to remember not to do this again.

Okay two more weird pics in my search engine......

Okay when I was googling "Tennis Ball" this came up. This is an actual tennis court in Dubai on the highest building there. There's actually a You Tube clip about it....showing Andre Agassi taking the elevator up and setting on to this platform. I could hardly watch the video cause it made me queasy. Can you imagine playing this high up...I would never be able to take one baby step backwards before becoming paralyzed with fear. Heck I couldn't even make it up to the top in the elevator.


This pic....well I googled "Mexican Food" and "up" it came in more ways than one.

Oh the things you find on the web

I am drowning in work for the silent auction. I don't even know what day or time it is.....

Part of my work is making a small narrative which we are posting next to the bid sheets.

It often means Googling local companies for some basic information.

Sometimes when I have Googled innocent words like tennis or cafeteria....I come up with some
pretty amazing images in the Google search engine....often ones that have nothing to do with the word I'm searching for.

Still they are interesting and tonight while Googling....I threw a couple of the images that came up during my searches on my desktop and thought I would share.

For the love of Iphones....autotext bloopers

I have been laughing so hard for the last half hour my head hurts.

If you have an Iphone you know about autotext....you know how you can type one word and another word pops up and your finger has already hit send.

My kids are constantly texting me ....what?

I read an article in the NYT about iphones and they mentioned this blog......but you may want to take an aspirin before you go on....or don't do it too late at night cause my husband already asked what the heck I was doing in the computer room...lol.

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

Have fun!

Oh yes it snowed

Oh yes it snowed....and snowed.....and snowed.

Till all of the city was shut down....around 8 inches by the end of the day. I was tucked inside working on emails and phone calls for the silent auction. It was a good day to get that type of work done....because everyone was home or on their computer. I received replies in no time at all.

Although the snow is pretty...I am worried about my little wild cat. She actually came to the front door when I opened it this morning to tell me how bad it was outside. I put a little plastic on her shelter and made sure the little heater was working but she looks cold. I've fed her and given her some warm water...but this is not the season for kitten.

She is much friendlier to me today.....I guess she knows she's in a desperate situation. A few minutes minutes ago I opened the door....and bent down and actually petted her...rubber her back...which she let me. Something new....and then she licked my hand. It almost made me teary eyed...it was like she was saying...okay...I'm not quite tame but I know you are doing something to keep me alive. Oh...I'm such a softie. Yet how can you turn your back on this little thing tossed out by someone?

So I'm going to do more auction work and stay up for another hour...I have to keep turning on her heating pad because it shuts off every two hours as a safety mechanism. Despite the snow my son needs to go to work...so I know someone will check her around 430am....but in between...I can only turn it on and hope it stays warm and keeps her through most of the night. I am seriously considering secretly setting my clock and getting up at 3am to check her heating pad. The city is closed tomorrow....so I can work auction and sleep in ...if I don't fall back asleep.

I am a silly woman.

Wild cat sitting in the little shelter I made for her for the snow storm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting for the 4th End-Of-Times Snowstorm

The weatherman are practically having on-air orgasms about the coming storm.

First it was 8-10" then 6-8" and now 4-8 inches....whatever.

They are all waving their hands...having specials on TV....warning about taking water and candy bars and blankets in your car....and how we will be devastated and isolated and stuck....

for 48 hours!!

That's not a very long time.

It's supposed to be 40 degrees by Friday and maybe back up to normal and 50 degrees by Sunday. So even if we are snowed in for two days...it will all be gone in two days too.

This is not the End-of-Times...it's just a pause in the life of a busy city and busy people.

I plan to get up early ...drink some hot chocolate and get an early start to my silent auction work. I have several phone calls to make and I'll probably get in touch with the people...since they will be snow bound in their houses and not in the stores or at meetings.

See there's already something good happening out of this.

I've built a small little shelter for my wild cat which she is sitting in right now...and it should keep her a bit snug till the snow comes and melts. It leans right against my front door so I can toss her some cat food during the day if the snow piles up. Not ideal...but being an abandoned kitten in winter is not ideal either.

I'll also probably make myself an egg sandwich for breakfast....a tradition on a snow day ...followed by lots of coffee.

So weathermen and women keep flaying your arms...let's see how much stuff we get....my only concern....that we don't lose power...cause if I don't have my freaking computer I can't do my auction work....and then I will start freaking out.

Okay....no snow flakes yet...nite nite and let's see what happens tomorrow.

Southern's Enjoyment of Snow over Time...click on picture to enlarge.

The End of Times at my local grocery store.

It's a snow day here in the South...and I did a stupid thing....I went to the gym early ....and then hungry as hell went to the grocery store as the first flakes of snow hit the southern asphalt.

Everyone in town also witnessed that first flake, checked their smart phones...saw the opaque mess on the weather radar moving towards us and drove like crazy people to the grocery store too.

I groaned when I hit the parking lot since quite a few folks made it there before I did. I hit the milk section first....because #2 son, although a grown young adult, can't seem to survive without chocolate milk. Thank heavens a few jugs left.

As the grocery store filled up with people... and I smelled the panic in the air......I sort of went berserk.

My hungry tummy plus all those Eastern European and Siberian ancestors in my DNA joined to form a toxic mix which morphed me into an extreme carbo hunter armed with a steel grocery cart.

Package of cookies to bake....yes!
Tortilla chips ....yes!
High energy cereal....yes!
Frozen yogurt ...yes!
La Leche topping....oh yes yes yes yes !

My cart filled and filled. My logical mind stepped in for a few minutes to buy some lean ground beef , some veggies and fruit...and then was shut off by my carbo hunting ancient ancestors who shouted in my head, "Screw the bananas .....grab the potatoes."

Yes great great grandmamas and grandpas.

Finally cart full.....I ended up in check out lines at least 12 people deep....everyone keeping one eye out the window at the snow and the other eye on people who might dare cut into the line.

The line didn't bother me.....I updated my Facebook status, texted the family that I had saved the day and procured food, and read my email. I took a deep breath.....I felt like an ancient hunter with a mastodon in my sled....we would not starve tonight...no matter how cold or how much snow.

I drove home and called out #1 son who was off work to help me empty the car. He opened the trunk and look startled...."What happened?" Which I took to me, why the heck are there so many bags of food. But hey, I have three men to feed, two dogs, two cats and one wild cat to tend to.....and since I'm the appointed hunter in the family right now....I'd rather have surplus then listen to all these men and animals moan.....about the lack of something to eat. Not that we couldn't all use a few days of starvation.....lol...

Anyways...There's a couple inches of snow........amounts people up North and on the East Coast would laugh at....but we take are inches seriously down here in the south. We are a fragile people who cannot go without bread and milk and the nice-ities of life like cookies and hot chocolate.


Actually hot chocolate sounds real good right now...so I think I'll head downstairs and make some then snuggle up in my office chair and start working on the silent auction bids and narratives I need to write.

If anything it's a perfect day to spend on the computer....now that I have faced down the End of Times.

Brrrrrrrrrrr..................

Oh baby it's cold down south.....maybe 16 degrees tonight.

I read my hometown paper, the Chicago Tribune, and I got goosebumps looking at the winter blast snow pictures. I couldn't believe the photos of Lake Shore Drive.....900 cars stalled out in the snow. People sat in their cars for 12-14 hours.....okay my first thought.....did anyone have to go to the bathroom? And how?

In my own hometown, I'm worried about my little wild kitty.....she gotten a bit more tame.....we've moved from ear scratching....to back scratching to a slight tummy rub...(very slight)...I even gave her a name..... Snickers....but at this temperature a young animal could be in serious trouble. I turned on the heating pad under my door map...but she ran away....hopefully to someplace warmer and out of the wind. I'll be up early in the morning with canned cat food if she makes it.

I called my Auntie in Chicago to check on her and she is snug and warm...but my daughter in Ohio had lots of weather trouble. Buried under some snow and ice.....they lost power for 16 hours....around hour 15 they thought about trying to navigate their steep driveway to find warmth at a friend's house. Fortunately the power came on....and hopefully it will stay on as the wind chill is below zero there.

I pulled up the New York Times and read snow stories around the Midwest and got so cold and bummed out reading about the blizzard....I made some hot chocolate with a shot of mocha and a dash of whip cream and put some extra socks on and a t-shirt. Bundled up now, my eastern European DNA is screaming for carbohydrates.....eat candy.....chips....a nice slice of meat with some warm bread and butter.......anything to put the pounds on to protect myself from these winter temperatures...never mind that winter only lasts about three weeks in the south...my body is screaming lard me baby!

Sigh....I tell the cravings in my head to calm down....by the weekend it will be 45 degrees.....but you can't tell my inner ancestors that.....they are sipping the hot chocolate and protesting the lack of some cookies or cake to go with it.

Thank heavens we only suffer through a week or so of winter or else I would be a blimp.......

Stay warm and safe my friends up North....and East

Supersize my Fries

"Light your candles at 5:15pm"

My weeks are getting busier and harder.....the silent auction is just three weeks away and I have over 100 items to organize, summarize, fancy up and haul to a downtown hotel.

The auction itself would be enough of a vise but I'm taking a couple of classes....and it seems from the moment I open my eyes till I try and close them....I am over-scheduled.

So when the text arrived around noon on Friday to light the Sabbath candles at 5:15pm....I stopped....and thought ....I have to do this...I have to rest, recharge and regain my composure.

I phoned my husband and told him to be home before 5:15pm. I ran to the bakery to get a warm buttery soft challah loaf....I dashed into the grocery store for the makings of a dinner salad.....I sped home....cleaned off the table.....opened the wine.....chopped the veggies up.....grabbed a new tablecloth from the closet.....opened my grandfather's special wooden box to retrieve the shabbat candles....lighter.....glasses.......loaded up the coffee pot....cleaned up the kitchen....all with my eyes glued on the clock.

It was almost like a game....could I get everything done before 5:15pm?

5:12..hubby walks in.

5:13 ...hurry put a cover on the challah.

5:14...hurry hurry and get hubby to sit down.

5:15....amen ...I made it. I lite the candles...said the prayer quietly to myself.....sigh and sit down.

My hub and I looked at each startled. Our meals have been so fast and quick this week...half of them I didn't even eat with the men folks but here we are.....face to face over the dinner table.

We clinked our wine glasses. My phone made it's little messages-and-texts-are-here-noises which I ignored. We put on some music.....I reminded myself I could eat slowly....I had no place to dash off to.....I would eat...digest....chat...read....but generally be still...maybe we would watch a movie together later.

It felt so wonderful to regain myself..... I decided to miss my morning class and even services on Saturday. I tried to keep calm......I did a little studying....and again we sat down to a quiet dinner. I didn't do the Havdahla service...the service which ends the Sabbath.... because I actually did not want to the day to end....I decided to continue for a few more hours.....and I plan to hit the sack early and get up early on Sunday to start the day fresh.....classes first....then get started organizing and writing up the auction items.

The next weeks will be very intense.

Thank G-d for the Sabbath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

To touch, to tame, to connect.

For 4-5 weeks....a skinny ragged little kitten has made her home in the bushes in our front yard.

I don't know how she found us, perhaps, some invisible sign written in cat language is staked in our front yard...."these people are nice to strays."

Whatever, she was a small streak of gray meowing in the bushes.... obviously hungry and I have cat food.

I hesitated for only a few seconds before placing the bowl under the bushes.... I don't want another cat.

I have two cats, two dogs, two sons living with me....and one husband.

The Inn is full.

My last cat, Fancypants, was a stray but I'm not an animal hoarder or someone that takes in every animal that wanders our way.

Still...I could not not feed this small cat. I would figure out what to do with her later.

To my surprise....the little kitty hissed and arched her back trying to look ferocious when I placed the bowl down.

I wondered if she was feral....but her little ribs were sticking out and whatever she was....she was under my bush, in front of my house meowing pitifully.

I fed her the next day and the next day.

She wouldn't come to me and always kept a couple of feet distance.... each time I got down on my knees and peered under the bushes... she would sink further back into the greenery and hiss.

I tried to catch her as the weather grew colder....put out a cat carrier with food in it...but once she was inside... she flung herself so hard against the grate her nose starting bleeding...so I let her go.

And so we continued our little dance.....

"Kitty are you there?"

Meow Meow.

"Here's some food"

Hiss. Hiss.

With snow and below freezing temperatures coming, I worried for the little thing but I wasn't sure what to do.

One day when I opened our front door on a very cold morning, kitty was sitting on our doorstep...but she zipped away the minute I bent over and tried to touch her.

So I placed a bowl of food on our front porch and waited......she peeked out of the bushes and cautiously stepped onto the porch to eat....she had one eye on her food and one eye on me. If I moved....she ran away.

So the dance moved to our front porch.

The night before the first snow storm, I looked out the door's window and saw her sitting on our steps. Cold, small...a little spit of a thing....I knew I had to do to provide some sort of shelter for her or she might not make it. But anything that reeked of human....like a towel...a box....she jumped away from.

Since she occasionally sat on our doormat.... I found an old heating pad and slipped it under our mat and plugged it in to our outdoor lights. Within minutes, after I shut the front door, she curled up in a tight knot over the doormat. Next trip outside, I placed a small square of wood in front of the front step to provide a little wind screen.

Heating blankets don't stay on continuously....people were injured or burned when pads were left on so most heating pads have a two hour timer....which meant someone in our household would have to open the front door and reactivate the heater for our wild cat.

We all took turns ...anyone who was passed the front door looked out the side window to see if the red heating light was still on. Each time someone reactivated the pad.... she jumped away quick as lightening but jumped back just as quickly.

She survived the first snow storm and the ensuing bitter cold nights after. I would reactivate the blanket at about 1am before I went to bed....and my son, who leaves for work at 5am, would be the first in the morning to turn the thing back on...which meant she only had a two hour window to keep warm on her own.

Since she survived the cold tough week, I thought I would try a different approach. I sat down on the front step and waited. Sure enough....she'd peek out of the bushes...cautiously jump onto the front porch...dance around....stretch...rub herself against my flower pots....but she always kept the two foot distance between her and my outstretched hand.

"Come here kitty kitty" I would say softly to her.

"Meow" she'd answer...dancing around in a circle but still keeping her distance.

And then yesterday.....the usual routine....I gave her some food....went about my day....and opened the door around noon to sit on the front step for a few minutes.

Out she popped from her little home in the bushes.....and then she carefully....walked closer to me....I reached out my hand.....I could see the hesitancy in her body.......all her muscles seemed ready to spring ....and then she moved her head towards my fingers...paused.... then bent her head down for a few seconds....allowing me to scratch her..... behind her cold little ears.

We both jumped apart after contact.

She looked as surprised as I was.

What happened today? Why today? After a month of shying away from me....what had changed? Why did she decide to trust me for three seconds...to offer me her neck to touch...to connect?

I don't know.

She came up to me later in the day and allowed me another scratchie then darted off.

Now I'm wondering if she is really feral or is she simply an abandoned kitty who's never been touched or petted.

A couple hours ago I saw a preview for the movie "No Strings Attached" and I found myself smiling because I can guess the plot.....girl asks guy for sex// no strings attached....touch touch kiss kiss...but somehow the same door that opened today between my wild cat and I is opened on a bigger scale when a man and a woman are involved.....the touch...the skin contact creates a connection.

Touching an animal or another person....changes you....some neural pathway is altered....some synapse which was unconnected is connected and caring...concern....attention...flows easier.....and the more we touch.....the more the bond strengthens.......which is why "No Strings" doesn't work often in life....and why I am now worried about a little wild cat sitting somewhere under my bushes.

I opened my front door a few hours ago and wild kitty is not there....the doormat is heated...the board in place....and it's very cold....hopefully she has found another spot which is warmer ...safer than my front door.

So now I am more concerned for her and for her safety....now....that she trusts me a little....I've reciprocated by caring a little more about her. I've even thought of giving of her name.

You touch...you connect....and then there are consequences.

Where are you little wild cat?
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Pretty nipple pasties that I don't sell.

I admit they're pretty.....I'm sure they would be fun to wear .....but unfortunately I don't sell them.



In the strange world of the Internet....somehow ...somewhere in the galaxy someone has incorrectly swapped my blog address with Gina's Gems.....a blog that highlights...a different
Gina's unique pasties.

In the last couple weeks I've received about a dozen emails about her products....inquiring on cost, on adhesive, and wondering about custom designs.

Huh? I didn't know I was in the pasties business....so a quick check of the net and a few replies and hopefully I have sent customers back to the right Gina.

All these questions about pasties had me wondering though.....can you get them off quickly? do they leave an adhesive residue?

And one more BIG question...do they hurt when you take them off....because there's nothing like setting a sexy scene then shrieking ouch ouch ouch!

Inquiring minds I guess.

Snowmen happen in the South.....

We only get snow a couple times a year.....so it's not unusual to see spontaneous snowmen spring up...sometimes in unusual places.

They're not just for kids down here.

Early morning 'round my house......

Snow Day

It's quiet in my house....the 5-6 inches of snow created a thick blanket of insulation around us.

Although for most people it's a snow day....my husband is a state employee and is considered "essential personnel." So early this morning....we warmed and moved cars on our driveway....scraped windows and kicked the snow around. He'll go downhill initially to work but then he'll have to drive up "Bale Hill"....also known as "Car Hill."

There's an auto dealership on top of the hill.....but when the rare snow hits us.....Car Hill will be littered on both sides of the road with abandoned or wrecked autos as southern drivers who aren't used to driving in snow flunk the attempt.

Yesterday I had to drive through the snow to get home from a meeting. I felt nervous and panicky. Yes, I had bread and milk at home...but somehow the 2-3 inches of snow was getting under my skin. Drivers were already doing stupid things ...not giving their cars enough gas to get up a hill.....turning sharply and braking.......and then a few idiots who were driving too fast. But I grew up in Chicago and went to college in Omaha were snow drifts rule in winter....surely I wouldn't forget winter driving lessons......but I think that's what made me nervous.....I was losing my confidence. I've lived too long in the south.....and a once or twice a year practice of snow driving doesn't keep your skills honed.

Fortunately, I made it home...safe and sound.....giving my car enough gas to make it up "Car Hill" and giving the finally push to get up my own hill...where my house sits.

I'm a little concerned about a small stray kitty we were feeding....she is, probably half feral, but we put a little food out in this cold weather for her. I found her snuggled up against my front door but as I soon as I opened the door she ran away.....hopefully to a better spot to shelter.

So as far as my snow day goes.....I'll grab one more cup of coffee and start working on the silent auction.....unfortunately or fortunately......email and texts still work.

Bluntcard.com

An amazing photo....

I am not sure how I stumbled upon this picture on the net....but it has haunted me for the last two days.

The picture is absolutely perfect....the light....the halo effect around the girl's head....the quiet startle effect.....the young in between adult and child huntress....South Africa....the gut reaction to a dead animal on a live animal.

The Visual Blog gives background on the picture:

"This year’s Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize at the National Portrait Gallery has been awarded to David Chancellor’s photograph Huntress with Buck. In the photograph we can see a young woman sitting on a horse looking down into the camera. The photograph appears to be slightly manipulated, as the area near the head of the main subject seems to be brightened to increase her aura. The low vantage point of the camera and the elevated position of the huntress have the effect that she looks grand and statuesque. In his photograph, Chancellor evokes the iconography of equestrian statues depicting knights, gods and military leaders. The central relationship is not between the huntress and her horse, but between the huntress and the buck lying dead across the horse’s back. The symbolism here is pretty clear: the horse is alive, the buck is dead, their bodies crossing each other where the huntress is sitting. The huntress is portrayed as killer as much as a nurturer.

In a sense, the huntress is at a crossroad herself: she is neither girl nor woman. Without the caption provided, the androgynous looks of the subject also fail to indicate a clear gender identity. It is perhaps an ungendered performance that is possible in the ‘wild’ settings the photograph was taken in. This notion of inbetweeness is further emphasized by the lighting: photographed when the sun was kissing the horizon, it is neither day, nor is it night. The low sunlight has the effect that all elements in the photograph come visually together as, for a brief moment, everything is steeped in a deep red colour."

Although the photograph was taken in South Africa, the girl is American from Alabama and ironically her last name is Slaughter. There's been much chatter on the web about rich girls keeping up the hunting traditions of royalty and the moral consequences of trophy hunting.

One article mentioned an interesting aspect of the picture.....neither animal....dead or alive looks at the camera....it is only the human being, who is capable of making moral decisions, who looks us into the eye and asks us....perhaps defies us to have an opinion.

Amazing.

My New Year's Weekend.....

Friday: pulled a muscle in my back.




Saturday: got a mild case of food poisoning which kicked in exactly two minutes after Midnight..



Sunday: started a fire in the oven....flames...billowing black smoke.

But I still remain optimistic about the coming year.

A song for your soul on the last day of the year.

More hot chocolate and chick movies

I think the men folks in our family are about to book a hotel and leave us.

My daughter and I have spent the last couple of days....enjoying cups of hot chocolate with whip cream in between chick flicks.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.....Saying Goodbye to Sarah Marshall....White Christmas....The Blind Side

Tonight I took her to the airport to send her back to Ohio.....a couple hours later I returned with her.

Her connecting flight from St. Louis to Ohio had been canceled because of the East Coast snowstorm a couple days ago and all other alternative routes were totally full....the official at the airport told her she would probably get home in a day or two.

Yikes....fortunately she has an understanding supervisor at work.

So....I'm about to head downstairs to make a cup of hot chocolate and pull out my last chick video in my collection.....Sleepless in Seattle.....one of our all time favorites.

I'm just "on hold" waiting for hub to return home with more whipped cream.
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A dangerous combo.....

All the kids are home and the temp dipped down into the 30's.

My husband's comfort food gene was activated.

Before I could blink an eye....he had left over smoked turkey and potatoes simmering in a homemade broth.....and was making biscuits from scratch.

Viola....turkey and fresh hot biscuits.

I would hate to think what would happen if we lived up north....and we had snow plus cold weather plus the kids.....we would probably live in a starch-induced coma for months!

Nothing like a cat in a sweater.......LOL>>>

And for a 100 more dashing felines in knits.....press here.....x

Hard to Believe

Hard to believe my wild stray nervous kitty that hissed at the slightest provocation....is now the gentle comfortable lazy princess which curls herself up in my silk comforter and snoozes for hours....and demands to be combed each morning....and wants fresh water at least twice a day.

Hail silky preened queen of the house!
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Ahhh ...the solstice

It is a gorgeous day here in the South....and 70 degrees.

Spring feels like it must be just around the corner.

I know winter will come back...cause it's not through with us...but today...when the days start getting longer...it's easy to believe the earth's rebirth is near.

There have been some winter solstice's when you really have to work hard to believe in hope and spring....but not this one.

Wouldn't it be nice if it was just that easy this year?

Oh well I'll wait another 140 years....

Well..... I tried to watch the lunar eclipse.

It was cloudy here in the South....so I found a live webcam with a perfect picture of the moon.

At 1am...not much was happening....I set my phone for 330am ...at least I thought I did....but the night slipped by and so did the lunar eclipse.

It's aint pretty but it's my hallway.......

Well we've started.

We are remodeling the second floor of the house.

I took everything from my parent's house and stored it in the garage....at least 200 boxes.

I then got stuck....how do we change out the bedroom carpets? install hardwood in some rooms? de-clutter and de-toy bedrooms that once held children and now hold young adults?

Spun my wheels for a while....then decided the only way to accomplish this was to work on one room at a time.....starting with my daughter's room and working around till we get to the master bedroom....then and only then hit the garage with all those boxes.

It took me a week to clean out her room and the carpet arrived over the weekend.

It's beautiful....but that leaves her closet her bathroom...the boys rooms....etc etc.

Looks like we are going to have to live a very cluttered life....with new mattresses waiting for new floors and Goodwill having a bonanza from old clothes and toys.

This spring after the literary festival and silent auction...I will tackle Ebay and figure out how to become a seller....for some reason I've been dreading the process....and then between Craig's list, Ebay and Goodwill....I hope to have a clean uncluttered life in about a year?

Then we have to make a decision about the kitchen. Oy.

Oh my "Fannie May" get big with all this candy

Childhood chocolate......mmmmmmmmmmm.

Thank G-d I grew up in Chicago and my local confectionier was Fannie May Candies. A candy company started in 1920 in the Windy City.

From my earliest memories there were Fannie May Easter Bunnies in my basket, Santas and Reindeer covered in foil for Christmas and of course mint meltaways.....a staple in our house whenever there was something to celebrate.

A good grade? A little mint meltaway....my mom completes her taxes for the year....a box of mint meltaways.....going to a dinner or birthday party....well one box as a gift and one box to stay home....that's only fair.

Every time I went back to Chicago I would get a little candy. I grew of fond of Trinadads...a dark chocolate center with a little coconut. I liked the sloppy cherry cordials and of course, the milk chocolate covered toffee. Oh yes. Very very good.

And then....Fannie May disappeared....bought out by a corporation that went belly up....stores closed and the chocolate disappared. But it lingered in so many memories a candy company bought Fannie May and reopened the operation sticking true to the original formula (no substitutions with cheap ingredients) and the stores reopened and all us kids no matter what age smiled.

This time around....Fannie May is hip....and headed for the internet. When I discovered I could ship Fanny May out.....I did....CyberMonday after Thanksgiving became my Cyber Chocolate day and I happily sent boxes out to friends and family.....with a smile on my face....chocolate fits all sizes and tastes.

I even ordered myself a two pound box of chocolate with all my favorites.

My family is complaining they haven't seen the box yet....that's because I've hidden it in my daughter's old bedroom and each day....I go in there once ( or twice) and treat myself to a little chocolate....because I'm sure I'm on Santa's nice list and because I'm sure I deserve it...LOL>>

Santa as Ben Hur

Santa as Ben Hur.....very wrong.
And what happened to the reindeer?
Gladiator meets Rudolph in the Colosseum?
Is that the Naughty and Nice book in Santa's hand?
What's Santa going to do....... a thumbs up or down for the little ones?
Bad Santa
Very Bad Santa

A card for everything

I was hunting for a wedding card when I stumbled across the "troubled love/relationship/friendship" section.

I had mixed feelings when I saw these "greetings."

Part of me thought....it was a cop out. If you were in love with someone and were "troubled" you should talk to them. If you had a relationship with someone and you were ending it...you should talk to them.

But that is before our lives went digital....and now you can simply email or tweet "The End" to someone without ever having to talk to them or see their face or face their sorrow/dismay/hurt.

I suppose, on the other hand, sending a card could be seen as a door opener to conversation.

The sent card signifies there's a problem, a concern, trouble and the recipient will likely have a response.

"Go to Hell" ... "Let's have lunch" ..."I'm not sure what's going on"...a thousand other phrases are possible.

Maybe cards for troubled relationships bother me because I'm female....and women seem, in general, more willing to talk ....more desirous to clear the air. Isn't that what the famous "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus" book was about? Women would be happy to sit on a rock and talk and talk and talk.....while men would rather find a cave in a big rock and retreat to read a book or watch TV.

Hmmmm perhaps a for a man buying a card is really progress.....because a man is attempting.... through Hallmark.....to start the ball rolling even though it's a ball he would sometimes prefer not to catch or throw.

Well...nothing to worry about.....I was there for a wedding card....which meant most likely the couple was doing okay and were happy to get together.....I guess they can find their own "troubled-let's talk" card when the time comes.
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Not Your Typical Holiday Meat and Greet Nativity Scene

An acquaintance of mine runs a restaurant in Mississippi and posted this pic to his Facebook account.

Talk about an interesting meat and greet......interesting meat and an interesting greeting for your traditional Christmas holiday guests....and all displayed on a nice fluffy bed of sauerkraut.

All I can say is TUMS come in a variety of holiday colors to compliment any meal.

Best dang song of the season.....

Flying soon......???

Inappropriate spandex

The government of Singapore declared the new swimsuits worn by its team during a competitive meet inappropriate. The suits used elements of the Singapore flag in the design.

What can I say? Looks fine to me.

Too good to to miss...Happy Chanuka

A viral love letter

So the story is a guy in band is separated from the woman he loves....and made this video without telling his former lover...hoping that it was good enough to get lots of hits and buzz...and she would discover it "organically" or just on her own.

Hope it reaches her........