Connections by Jack Anderson

We are all connected, one unto another.

A bulb in my hallway has burned out.

I keep fitting new bulbs into the socket.

Nothing happens.

Then I find in my hallway a switch I have never noticed before.

I flick it on and off, on and off.

Nothing happens.

Three blocks away, in their apartment, a wife calls to her husband,

"Henry! Come quick! The lights seem to be going on and off for no reason."

Jack Anderson

To touch, to tame, to connect.

For 4-5 weeks....a skinny ragged little kitten has made her home in the bushes in our front yard.

I don't know how she found us, perhaps, some invisible sign written in cat language is staked in our front yard...."these people are nice to strays."

Whatever, she was a small streak of gray meowing in the bushes.... obviously hungry and I have cat food.

I hesitated for only a few seconds before placing the bowl under the bushes.... I don't want another cat.

I have two cats, two dogs, two sons living with me....and one husband.

The Inn is full.

My last cat, Fancypants, was a stray but I'm not an animal hoarder or someone that takes in every animal that wanders our way.

Still...I could not not feed this small cat. I would figure out what to do with her later.

To my surprise....the little kitty hissed and arched her back trying to look ferocious when I placed the bowl down.

I wondered if she was feral....but her little ribs were sticking out and whatever she was....she was under my bush, in front of my house meowing pitifully.

I fed her the next day and the next day.

She wouldn't come to me and always kept a couple of feet distance.... each time I got down on my knees and peered under the bushes... she would sink further back into the greenery and hiss.

I tried to catch her as the weather grew colder....put out a cat carrier with food in it...but once she was inside... she flung herself so hard against the grate her nose starting bleeding...so I let her go.

And so we continued our little dance.....

"Kitty are you there?"

Meow Meow.

"Here's some food"

Hiss. Hiss.

With snow and below freezing temperatures coming, I worried for the little thing but I wasn't sure what to do.

One day when I opened our front door on a very cold morning, kitty was sitting on our doorstep...but she zipped away the minute I bent over and tried to touch her.

So I placed a bowl of food on our front porch and waited......she peeked out of the bushes and cautiously stepped onto the porch to eat....she had one eye on her food and one eye on me. If I moved....she ran away.

So the dance moved to our front porch.

The night before the first snow storm, I looked out the door's window and saw her sitting on our steps. Cold, small...a little spit of a thing....I knew I had to do to provide some sort of shelter for her or she might not make it. But anything that reeked of human....like a towel...a box....she jumped away from.

Since she occasionally sat on our doormat.... I found an old heating pad and slipped it under our mat and plugged it in to our outdoor lights. Within minutes, after I shut the front door, she curled up in a tight knot over the doormat. Next trip outside, I placed a small square of wood in front of the front step to provide a little wind screen.

Heating blankets don't stay on continuously....people were injured or burned when pads were left on so most heating pads have a two hour timer....which meant someone in our household would have to open the front door and reactivate the heater for our wild cat.

We all took turns ...anyone who was passed the front door looked out the side window to see if the red heating light was still on. Each time someone reactivated the pad.... she jumped away quick as lightening but jumped back just as quickly.

She survived the first snow storm and the ensuing bitter cold nights after. I would reactivate the blanket at about 1am before I went to bed....and my son, who leaves for work at 5am, would be the first in the morning to turn the thing back on...which meant she only had a two hour window to keep warm on her own.

Since she survived the cold tough week, I thought I would try a different approach. I sat down on the front step and waited. Sure enough....she'd peek out of the bushes...cautiously jump onto the front porch...dance around....stretch...rub herself against my flower pots....but she always kept the two foot distance between her and my outstretched hand.

"Come here kitty kitty" I would say softly to her.

"Meow" she'd answer...dancing around in a circle but still keeping her distance.

And then yesterday.....the usual routine....I gave her some food....went about my day....and opened the door around noon to sit on the front step for a few minutes.

Out she popped from her little home in the bushes.....and then she carefully....walked closer to me....I reached out my hand.....I could see the hesitancy in her body.......all her muscles seemed ready to spring ....and then she moved her head towards my fingers...paused.... then bent her head down for a few seconds....allowing me to scratch her..... behind her cold little ears.

We both jumped apart after contact.

She looked as surprised as I was.

What happened today? Why today? After a month of shying away from me....what had changed? Why did she decide to trust me for three seconds...to offer me her neck to touch...to connect?

I don't know.

She came up to me later in the day and allowed me another scratchie then darted off.

Now I'm wondering if she is really feral or is she simply an abandoned kitty who's never been touched or petted.

A couple hours ago I saw a preview for the movie "No Strings Attached" and I found myself smiling because I can guess the plot.....girl asks guy for sex// no strings attached....touch touch kiss kiss...but somehow the same door that opened today between my wild cat and I is opened on a bigger scale when a man and a woman are involved.....the touch...the skin contact creates a connection.

Touching an animal or another person....changes you....some neural pathway is altered....some synapse which was unconnected is connected and caring...concern....attention...flows easier.....and the more we touch.....the more the bond strengthens.......which is why "No Strings" doesn't work often in life....and why I am now worried about a little wild cat sitting somewhere under my bushes.

I opened my front door a few hours ago and wild kitty is not there....the doormat is heated...the board in place....and it's very cold....hopefully she has found another spot which is warmer ...safer than my front door.

So now I am more concerned for her and for her safety....now....that she trusts me a little....I've reciprocated by caring a little more about her. I've even thought of giving of her name.

You touch...you connect....and then there are consequences.

Where are you little wild cat?
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My Happy Interesting Hanukkah-Christmas-Latke-Kielbasa Holiday Week

I said the prayers the best I could tonight....it wasn't the right time...and I'm sure I mangled most of the words.

You simply can't take a girl from the south side of Chicago who omits the "th" in words and expect her to say "shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higianu."

No way.

I listened to the audio on the net 100 times...but what I hear in Hebrew...what I see on the paper and what I say....are not related.

But it is the last night of Hanukkah and I'm in Jew School....so I did my best.

This week my family celebrated multiple times in multiple ways ....being together....and being attuned to something beyond ourselves.
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We started celebrating last Sunday when I took my entire family to the Temple for the Hanukkah celebration. They were wide-eyed and I was nervous.
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In Jew School I'm about as knowledgeable as a pre-schooler and yet here I was taking everyone to Temple as if I knew what I was doing.....which I didn't...but people who knew me there ....kissed me... shook hands with my family....and smiled.
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The Rabbi came over hugged me and chuckled....another complicated multiple faith/belief family situation...so what's new? There are many stories in the Temple...and mine is just another strand in the weave of this community.

As we walked back to our car after chicken, latkes and live music....we planned the rest of our week:

a dinner at a Mexican restaurant for my daughter's birthday....

latkes and beef brisket and candle lightening the following day....

Kielbasa, sauerkraut and pierogies to remember our Eastern European heritage on Xmas Eve

and finally Xmas.....which we would celebrate like we always have....with a special brunch....a family walk in the afternoon....presents... a turkey dinner....and watching movies together....including the infamous Pee Wee Herman Xmas special.

Mu daughter (on the right) watches my friend light the candles.


My impromptu candle holders for the Hanukkah portion of our week


Latkes from heaven...crisp hot crunchy....

The traditional Xmas celebration....with gingerbread houses and a glorious dinner of champagne, turkey, sweet potatoes and The Green Bean Casserole....plus cheesecake from the bookstore.

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We even tossed some movies into the holiday brew....my daughter and I watching our favorite movie...Sleepless in Seattle....caught Slumdog Millionaire at the theatre...and everyone watched Wall-e.

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It was a rich and full week....the house full of kids....dogs...an angry cat.....the smell of roasted turkey and fried potatoes and fresh buttermilk biscuits.....pots and pans clanging....the dishwasher swishing through load after load of dishes....and the garage door going up and down a thousand times as 5 people got in and out of cars and ran errands and shopped and dashed to friends' houses.

In a few hours.....Monday morning....our regular life will begin again....my daughter returns to Ohio.....I go back to work .....and my youngest son will play video games late into the night till I remind him he has to go back to college.

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It's been a special week....a good week....

and now I turn towards remembering my friends......letters... emails....little presents....

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it's about connections.....it always was....and still is.....

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