My Happy Interesting Hanukkah-Christmas-Latke-Kielbasa Holiday Week

I said the prayers the best I could tonight....it wasn't the right time...and I'm sure I mangled most of the words.

You simply can't take a girl from the south side of Chicago who omits the "th" in words and expect her to say "shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higianu."

No way.

I listened to the audio on the net 100 times...but what I hear in Hebrew...what I see on the paper and what I say....are not related.

But it is the last night of Hanukkah and I'm in Jew School....so I did my best.

This week my family celebrated multiple times in multiple ways ....being together....and being attuned to something beyond ourselves.
.
We started celebrating last Sunday when I took my entire family to the Temple for the Hanukkah celebration. They were wide-eyed and I was nervous.
.
In Jew School I'm about as knowledgeable as a pre-schooler and yet here I was taking everyone to Temple as if I knew what I was doing.....which I didn't...but people who knew me there ....kissed me... shook hands with my family....and smiled.
.

The Rabbi came over hugged me and chuckled....another complicated multiple faith/belief family situation...so what's new? There are many stories in the Temple...and mine is just another strand in the weave of this community.

As we walked back to our car after chicken, latkes and live music....we planned the rest of our week:

a dinner at a Mexican restaurant for my daughter's birthday....

latkes and beef brisket and candle lightening the following day....

Kielbasa, sauerkraut and pierogies to remember our Eastern European heritage on Xmas Eve

and finally Xmas.....which we would celebrate like we always have....with a special brunch....a family walk in the afternoon....presents... a turkey dinner....and watching movies together....including the infamous Pee Wee Herman Xmas special.

Mu daughter (on the right) watches my friend light the candles.


My impromptu candle holders for the Hanukkah portion of our week


Latkes from heaven...crisp hot crunchy....

The traditional Xmas celebration....with gingerbread houses and a glorious dinner of champagne, turkey, sweet potatoes and The Green Bean Casserole....plus cheesecake from the bookstore.

.

We even tossed some movies into the holiday brew....my daughter and I watching our favorite movie...Sleepless in Seattle....caught Slumdog Millionaire at the theatre...and everyone watched Wall-e.

.

It was a rich and full week....the house full of kids....dogs...an angry cat.....the smell of roasted turkey and fried potatoes and fresh buttermilk biscuits.....pots and pans clanging....the dishwasher swishing through load after load of dishes....and the garage door going up and down a thousand times as 5 people got in and out of cars and ran errands and shopped and dashed to friends' houses.

In a few hours.....Monday morning....our regular life will begin again....my daughter returns to Ohio.....I go back to work .....and my youngest son will play video games late into the night till I remind him he has to go back to college.

.

It's been a special week....a good week....

and now I turn towards remembering my friends......letters... emails....little presents....

.

it's about connections.....it always was....and still is.....

~~~~~~~

Conversation before The BIG Party.....

T- Minus 4 hours.....

and here's how the conversation is going between me and hub.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"Did you know there's a rug on the kitchen table."

.

"Yes.....I put it there."

.

"On purpose?"

.

"Uh huh....it's too beautiful to put on the floor."

.

"Then why don't they sell it as a tablecloth?"

.

"Because it's a rug...but it's so finely woven ....you really don't want to walk on it."

.

"Then they shouldn't call it a rug."

.

"If it makes you feel better..... you can walk on the table."

.

"Before or after the party?"

.

"Don't be snotty."

.

"Okay."

.

"The dining room table looks really nice."

.

"Thanks."

.

"The tablecloth sort of matches our bed."

.

"Well it's a sheet from our bed set."

.

"Have we slept on it?"

.

"Oh my god....do you think I would put a sheet we slept on...on the dining room table??????"

.

"Well you spray painted a pillow last year."

.

"I spray painted a pillow because it was a decorative emergency and no one was going to sit on it."

.

"Is there anything else I should I know about our decorations?"

.

"The big candle holder in the family room is filled with split peas."

.

"Really?"

.

"Really."

.

"Did you run out of candle sand or something?"

.

"No.......some of the floral shops in Paris ....used peas and beans.....I thought it looked cool."

.

"I better make sure no one spills their drink near there."

.

"What?"

.

"Heat, peas, water, bowl.....we could have soup on our hands"

.

"That's it........I'm going to go take my shower."

.

"Don't use my razor.....or ...."

.

"Or what?"

.

"I'll play my music for the party."

.

"Okay okay........I'll wear pants then."

~~~

Never Put Pinecones in Your Microwave and other Helpful Hostess Tips.....

I've morphed from desperate housewife.....into potential dazzling hostess the last couple days.

We're having "The Holiday Party" for my hub's office at our house this year. I scheduled the party early in the season.....so people wouldn't be worn out (and whining) from too much eating and drinking.... and folks might actually enjoy themselves.

I started seriously prepping yesterday....cleaning cleaning.....getting the the industrial strength shop vac out....sucking on the baseboards and pookies settled in corners and behind the furniture.

The men folks were confused by this activity.

"I thought the cleaning ladies were coming before the party."

"They are."

"Why are you cleaning then?"

"To get ready for the cleaning ladies."

Guys just don't get it. You have to prep to be cleaned. You can't have cleaning ladies come to a dirty house or they will spend all their time cleaning...but it’s the wrong type of cleaning....it's cleaning for daily life rather than cleaning for a party....which is a totally separate type of cleaning.

So after scouring the house with my gigantic vacuum looking for offending dust bunnies, spiders, and dog hair......it was time for the fun part......decorating!

Well, I thought it was going to be fun........but....Murphy ’s Law or Santa’s Revenge was at work......because nothing went right.

So I thought I'd share some important hints and tips I’ve learned from my recent mishaps...so if you’re getting ready for your parties.....you might be spared some big time pre-party trouble.

1) Never put old pine cones in a microwave. I like natural decorations....pine cones in a wooden bowl.....cat-tails(as in flora not fauna) in vases.....but if your pine cones are dusty and you wash them......do not dry them in a microwave... ( it seemed like such a logical idea at the time) because you won't have anything to put back in your bowl..... old wet pine cones ...explode....like popcorn kernels. The only positive... a nice piney smell while you're cleaning up the hot sap.

2) Always allow plenty of time for glitches with new creative ideas. So here's the problem....everyone will end up in my kitchen at the party.....right? The standard party clump.

To encourage mingling, I'm spreading out the beverages....wine in the family room, beer off the kitchen and a champagne station in the living room. This also allows folks who are a tad nosey to look around my house...without embarrassment. Trouble with the champagne station......no tablecloth large enough to elegantly drape over the card table....and serve as the bottom for the topper (I believe that line comes from an erotic novel.)

Brilliant idea: use the 2 gazillion thread count cotton flat sheet from the new bed linens. Bad idea: Wash the 2 gazillion thread sheet and put it in the dryer. Know what happens to a pure cotton sheet post dryer?

Wrinkles.....thousands and thousands and thousands of wrinkles.

So....I’m ironing and ironing....20 minutes.....40 minutes.....the sheet is never ending.....and it's still crumpled.

So I channel my feisty Lithuanian grandma (okay not really but I did think about her)....and remembered what she used to do.... drape a towel over her shoulder and have a bowl of water near the ironing board....she’d press the wet towel on the sheet....iron....then viola....linen as smooth as a baby's butt.

Happy to report it works...sad to report it took me an hour and half to make my sheets look like a baby's butt.

The Champagne station....please appreciate the perfect white old linen cloth and the marvelous bed sheet underneath.

.

3) Never put silk flowers near your candles. A couple weeks ago I had a writer’s meeting at my house. Folks were chatting. I heard a tinkling sound.

.

Damn that cat.... I thought...she probably came downstairs and knocked over something.

.

I almost ignored the sound....but decided to see what fell over. Walked into the foyer...and saw flames shooting at least 6 inches above a large glass bowl I had on the stairs.......melted wax was running down the stairs....and a black cloud of smoke was rising.

.

I thought of yelling for help....but then remembered the boys’ bathroom was at the top of the stairs. What’s always in my boys’ bathroom???....wet towels and dirty clothes....so I scooped up some of their clothes...dumped it on the fire....smothered the flames and tossed the smoking dripping hunk out my front door into the garden.

.

After discreetly plugging in a fan....and covering the hot wax on my stairs with a towel.....I returned to my guests...thinking holy shit.....my decorative accessories nearly started the house on fire.

.

Today...I removed all silk flowers from all containers with candles....so we inadvertently don’t turn our house into a Yule log.

And finally......

.

4) Always read the tags on your linens. I pulled my good dining room tablecloth out of the dryer this evening...and it shrunk to a size more appropriate for a Little Tikes Toddler Table. I checked the tag...Dry Clean Only....geez who the hell dry cleans their tablecloths?

Well....I have one more new gazillion thread flat sheet....perhaps I'll iron it and see how it looks.

.

Everything will be okay ...right?

~~~