A bit off.....

So I'm here at a hotel in my parents' old neighborhood.

I arrived in Chicago on Wednesday morning and everything has been a bit off.

I stayed the first night in a Westin Hotel near a mall and the first thing that happened when I arrived there....was a tuff with the doorman. The hotel has a classic U shaped driveway and I parked off to the side to register. The doorman stopped and wanted my keys. I tried to explain I was just checking in....but he insisted that an emergency vehicle might come swooping by and he might need my keys. Remembering I had my money, camera and all my valuable up on the passenger seat....I declined to give him the keys.....and he started to stamp his big fat foot at me...so I took off ...parked the car......and walked in. Oh suddenly he was all sweetness and nice probably because he was worried I would say something at the desk.....which I didn't...but it seemed like a thoroughly stupid exchange.

I went shopping....and couldn't find a dress....I always come home with a dress.....but not this time.

I visited my parent's graves.....and discovered my dad's stone lacked the picture and the engraving.....i.e. they hadn't done any work on it....I was angry since they sent me a bill asking for the balance....so a visit and a few phone calls and things were straightened out....but still I felt bad things were not completed for my dad.

The City of Chicago is throwing in its iffy charm too....every major road in my parent's suburb is under construction.....so where ever you go....you sit in long traffic lines and ride over strange exposed pavement.

The piece de resistance today was .....losing my cellphone....I drove all the way into my old neighborhood to get a picture of a home my grandparents had rented before they moved into their house. I stopped at the corner coffee shop and apparently.....left my cell phone on the counter......ugh....my son called me when I was back at my hotel to tell me my phone had been found in Bridgeport....so got in the car.....drove through Friday afternoon traffic back.

Now I'm tired and grumpy....and still trying to digest the thought that my parents, who lived a few blocks away from this hotel, are both gone. That I really don't have anyone in this town anymore......it makes my little city in the south feel sweet and charming.....makes me realize my little city is now home.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a translator who will hopefully read my mysterious grandfather's birth certificate.....or at least the part of the certificate I have.

Perhaps the news will be interesting....I hope it's not like the trip has been....a bit off.

Ping Pong Gina

Chicago....the South.....Chicago....the South.

Gina feels like a ping pong ball.

This week it's Chicago.

And apparently this is how life is going to look for a while.

Despite hard hard work....and even with men coming in to do this and that...my parent's house is big and complicated with lots of work to do before I can put it on sale....and lots o'stuff.

I had hoped to get the house on the market by July 21st....that might be wishful thinking.

So back and forth....back and forth....back and forth....this is going to be a strange life for a while.
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One Hot Chick....

It is 155 degrees with 110% humidity.

Really.

Okay.....the official forecast for my city today read: 92 degrees with 1000% humidity.



Okay.... maybe the humidity was only 88%

The problem is.....I'm not acclimated.

If you live in the south...as the temp and humidity rise in May....you become tolerant....which means you pant but not quite like a dog and you sweat but not quite like someone with diseased armpits.

Going back and forth to Chicago....a week here.... a week back home.....has totally wrecked my internal thermostat.

Last week it was 70 degrees in Chicago...I grabbed a jacket to go out at night....and slept with the windows open.

In one long day's drive, however, I left the cool and reentered the southern tropics.

So.....I've spent the last few days....standing in front of fans in my house....cursing the atmosphere every time I step outside.....and staring at the thermostat wondering why the hell it feels so hot in the house despite a temp in the comfort zone.

I even turned on the air conditioner in my convertible instead of driving with the top down....sacriledge!!

It was so hot today....I even dreamed of going to the neighborhood grocery store ...a certified goose bump/ nipple- rising zone in the summer.

I imagined myself idling in the frozen vegetable section....opening one frosty door after another.....bending deep down into the case .......pretending to hunt for stray boxes of exotic legumes....while an artificial Nor'easter trimmed my core temperature.

Ah....but there's no use in trying to acclimate .....next Monday or Tuesday ...Ozzie the Wonder Dog and I head up again to Chicago.....for a long two week work period......where 80 degrees will sound like heaven and low humidity will be a gift from the gods.
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Waiting for the train wreck.....

I'm leaving for Chicago on Wednesday.

.

I wish I can say I was excited and happy to go.

.

I've lied to my parents and told them I'm coming up for a conference...so I'll have to be out and about for an afternoon and an evening or two..... so they won't get suspicious.

.

I'm actually going up to see them.

.

I'm afraid my mom is sinking into either depression or dementia....I don't know which....and my father doesn't want me to know. My dad told me a month ago....."We'll take care of ourselves."

.

They are still angry at me, their only child, for not returning home after college.....I was supposed to get educated, married, produce children and live nearby. It was their dream but I couldn't deliver it.

.

I encouraged my folks to move out to Arizona with all my father's co-workers a dozen years ago....but my mother didn't want to move into a community of "old people." My parents briefly considered moving down here....but my mother told me it was too "woodsy"....in comparison to Chicago......and she didn't want to live in a southern community of "old people." I asked if my dad might consider some home health care or assistance with my mom....but they don't want "strangers" in their home.

.

So now they are "old people"....and their support system is thinning....and they are up north and I'm down south.

.

It's an inevitable train wreck.....and there's nothing I can do to flip the switch.....to avoid the oncoming disaster.

.

All I can do is assess the situation and guesstimate when the wreck will impact me.

.

Some days....I swear I hear a clock ticking.

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Turning into a Kid at Your Parent's house.

Some things never change when you visit your parents.

I flew into Chicago a mere 10 hours ago....and I'm the kid again.

An hour ago....my mom looked up at the clock and decided I was starving. Here's part of our conversation.

Have a cheese stick.
No thanks mom.
You want a sandwich?
No... I'm not hungry.
I have ice cream.
No ...No...
I have that chocolate you like.
Ma ( I slip into my south side Chicago accent)...I'm fine.
I have crackers. What about crackers?
Nah.
You don't like the crackers I bought?
They're fine...I'm just not hungry.
What about an egg?
Now?
No for breakfast.
Okay. I'll have an egg.
I have bacon.
No...I don't want bacon.
I have ham.
No. Just an egg on toast.
I bought those nice muffins with the holes.
English muffins?
Yes, you want an English muffin?
Sure.
Maybe you'd rather have a bagel.
Sure. I'll have an egg and a bagel.
I don't have any bagels. I'll send you father out to get some now.
No No.....really I'll have an English muffin.
Peter....why don't you run to the Jewel. She wants some bagels for breakfast.
No No....don't send dad out now...it's late. I tell you what.....why don't you make me an egg with bacon and some toast. Ok?
Good. You want butter on your toast?
Sure.
We don't have butter. I just have margarine.
Margarine is okay.
Peter....why don't you run to Jewel. She wants butter for breakfast.
Ma...give me the keys to the car. I'll go to the grocery store.
Now? It's so late. Who knows who's at that store at this hour.
You were going to send dad.
That's different.
There's odd people there at night. Someone might take you.
Take me? Take me where?
YOU KNOW.
Ma.....you got any bourbon left over from Thanksgiving?
Yes.
Great.
Why you taking such a small glass?
You're right Ma....hand me the BIG glass...I think I need a big drink.
Since when did you start drinking so much?
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