A bit off.....

So I'm here at a hotel in my parents' old neighborhood.

I arrived in Chicago on Wednesday morning and everything has been a bit off.

I stayed the first night in a Westin Hotel near a mall and the first thing that happened when I arrived there....was a tuff with the doorman. The hotel has a classic U shaped driveway and I parked off to the side to register. The doorman stopped and wanted my keys. I tried to explain I was just checking in....but he insisted that an emergency vehicle might come swooping by and he might need my keys. Remembering I had my money, camera and all my valuable up on the passenger seat....I declined to give him the keys.....and he started to stamp his big fat foot at me...so I took off ...parked the car......and walked in. Oh suddenly he was all sweetness and nice probably because he was worried I would say something at the desk.....which I didn't...but it seemed like a thoroughly stupid exchange.

I went shopping....and couldn't find a dress....I always come home with a dress.....but not this time.

I visited my parent's graves.....and discovered my dad's stone lacked the picture and the engraving.....i.e. they hadn't done any work on it....I was angry since they sent me a bill asking for the balance....so a visit and a few phone calls and things were straightened out....but still I felt bad things were not completed for my dad.

The City of Chicago is throwing in its iffy charm too....every major road in my parent's suburb is under construction.....so where ever you go....you sit in long traffic lines and ride over strange exposed pavement.

The piece de resistance today was .....losing my cellphone....I drove all the way into my old neighborhood to get a picture of a home my grandparents had rented before they moved into their house. I stopped at the corner coffee shop and apparently.....left my cell phone on the counter......ugh....my son called me when I was back at my hotel to tell me my phone had been found in Bridgeport....so got in the car.....drove through Friday afternoon traffic back.

Now I'm tired and grumpy....and still trying to digest the thought that my parents, who lived a few blocks away from this hotel, are both gone. That I really don't have anyone in this town anymore......it makes my little city in the south feel sweet and charming.....makes me realize my little city is now home.

Tomorrow morning I have an appointment with a translator who will hopefully read my mysterious grandfather's birth certificate.....or at least the part of the certificate I have.

Perhaps the news will be interesting....I hope it's not like the trip has been....a bit off.

Do my areola need to be freshened?

I was happy.....

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.....sitting on Wabash Ave a few blocks from north Michigan Ave....Chicago's golden mile.......and waiting for my appointment at a hair salon.....it was sunny ...the perfect early morning temperature.....and I beat the traffic into downtown....so I was killing time....relaxing with a cup of coffee and one of those glossy flyers which highlight local businesses.

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Do you need your areola freshened?

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I had to read that line again.

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A permanent make-up tattoo salon had placed the ad. Services offered included permanent eyeliner.....perky eyebrows......and freshened areola.

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In case you're not familiar with the term.....here's a bit of an explanation.

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The areola is the area around the nipple, and it may be tan, beige, pink, dark brown, or some other shade that's darker than the rest of the breast tissue. Mother Nature adds some extra color here for a reason. Initially, newborns can only distinguish light shades from dark ones, so having this natural pointer to the nipple helps the baby latch on and get fed.

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Women who have never been pregnant often have very pale areolas that are close to the color of their nipple and the surrounding breast skin. As pregnancy progresses, however, and upon giving birth, the areola darkens and expands in diameter.

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Apparently with age....or with a breast augmentation.....the surrounding area could lose some of its natural rosy glow.

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Now....I've heard of tattooing the areola after breast surgery for cancer or trauma. It's actually an art.... and can have, as you can imagine, quite a positive effect on a woman who has lost her natural tissue.

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But freshening? Because....???? you've grown a bit older? and a little paler??

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Damn that's just crazy.......but the seed ....thanks to marketing .....was planted.

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When I returned to my parent's house.....and changed clothes....I pulled my bra down and checked my areola.

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The site of me...frowning and looking at my breasts in the mirror....confirmed my worse fear....

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I'm getting crazy up here in Chicago...big time.... and it's time to go home.

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....which I'll do tomorrow.....

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and in case you want to know....I think my areola are just fine.

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