A couple days before the Big Show

Well it's two days till the Big Silent Auction....and I have goosebumps I'm so exhausted and nervous.

Things haven't been going well for the past couple weeks....I take that back....some things have gone well....other things have not.

I'm getting items and donations and they have been logged in...and all is well with the growing stack that will go to the auction.

What hasn't gone well is that I have been stiffed...Yes....stiffed. Someone who I thought was a friend....who was supposed to be my partner for this last month and help me with this phase of the auction...suddenly said "oh sorry" I can't help and went off and did other things. No illness...or family crisis...or pressing problems.....just gee I've lost interest in doing all this work now.

So in the last two weeks I've written 118 narratives ...little write-ups on the donors along with graphics and other things. Things that were supposed to be a job split 50/50.

I've been dog-tired at night......but unable to fall asleep as my adrenaline is high and my hurt meter is also high. It's hard to be stiffed by a person who you thought was a friend....this abrupt...so sorry I'm out of here....without an explanation....has been tough. She has done a few thngs .. probably out of guilt and probably cause some people who have told me I look like shit....have wondered too why she dropped this project to work for someone else.

I have my theories...but even in a somewhat anonymous blog ....it's best to keep my lips glued....as we know....flapping lips can cause a problem.

And to top things off tonight....my wild kitty has not come home for the first time in 2 months. She has grown a lot....made it through freezing temperatures....and today two big dogs where roaming around the neighborhood. She took off and is still hiding or has wandered off and is lost or is hunkered down. She has never missed an evening meal....so of course I am worried...and just lately she has allowed me to touch her more and more....we have a real bond going...and now...I'm worried. And I just said to myself this morning....when this auction is over I'm going to get her a small collar so people will know she's not a stray.

If she doesn't come home for breakfast....I'll be a wreck...just what I need....being a wreck on top of being a wreck for the auction.

I've been looking forward to the day after....but I know in the back of my head there's a lot of paperwork to do....and a lot of followup....including writing up 120 thank you notes by hand.

I've got to remember not to do this again.

Okay two more weird pics in my search engine......

Okay when I was googling "Tennis Ball" this came up. This is an actual tennis court in Dubai on the highest building there. There's actually a You Tube clip about it....showing Andre Agassi taking the elevator up and setting on to this platform. I could hardly watch the video cause it made me queasy. Can you imagine playing this high up...I would never be able to take one baby step backwards before becoming paralyzed with fear. Heck I couldn't even make it up to the top in the elevator.


This pic....well I googled "Mexican Food" and "up" it came in more ways than one.

Oh the things you find on the web

I am drowning in work for the silent auction. I don't even know what day or time it is.....

Part of my work is making a small narrative which we are posting next to the bid sheets.

It often means Googling local companies for some basic information.

Sometimes when I have Googled innocent words like tennis or cafeteria....I come up with some
pretty amazing images in the Google search engine....often ones that have nothing to do with the word I'm searching for.

Still they are interesting and tonight while Googling....I threw a couple of the images that came up during my searches on my desktop and thought I would share.

For the love of Iphones....autotext bloopers

I have been laughing so hard for the last half hour my head hurts.

If you have an Iphone you know about autotext....you know how you can type one word and another word pops up and your finger has already hit send.

My kids are constantly texting me ....what?

I read an article in the NYT about iphones and they mentioned this blog......but you may want to take an aspirin before you go on....or don't do it too late at night cause my husband already asked what the heck I was doing in the computer room...lol.

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

Have fun!

Oh yes it snowed

Oh yes it snowed....and snowed.....and snowed.

Till all of the city was shut down....around 8 inches by the end of the day. I was tucked inside working on emails and phone calls for the silent auction. It was a good day to get that type of work done....because everyone was home or on their computer. I received replies in no time at all.

Although the snow is pretty...I am worried about my little wild cat. She actually came to the front door when I opened it this morning to tell me how bad it was outside. I put a little plastic on her shelter and made sure the little heater was working but she looks cold. I've fed her and given her some warm water...but this is not the season for kitten.

She is much friendlier to me today.....I guess she knows she's in a desperate situation. A few minutes minutes ago I opened the door....and bent down and actually petted her...rubber her back...which she let me. Something new....and then she licked my hand. It almost made me teary eyed...it was like she was saying...okay...I'm not quite tame but I know you are doing something to keep me alive. Oh...I'm such a softie. Yet how can you turn your back on this little thing tossed out by someone?

So I'm going to do more auction work and stay up for another hour...I have to keep turning on her heating pad because it shuts off every two hours as a safety mechanism. Despite the snow my son needs to go to work...so I know someone will check her around 430am....but in between...I can only turn it on and hope it stays warm and keeps her through most of the night. I am seriously considering secretly setting my clock and getting up at 3am to check her heating pad. The city is closed tomorrow....so I can work auction and sleep in ...if I don't fall back asleep.

I am a silly woman.

Wild cat sitting in the little shelter I made for her for the snow storm

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Waiting for the 4th End-Of-Times Snowstorm

The weatherman are practically having on-air orgasms about the coming storm.

First it was 8-10" then 6-8" and now 4-8 inches....whatever.

They are all waving their hands...having specials on TV....warning about taking water and candy bars and blankets in your car....and how we will be devastated and isolated and stuck....

for 48 hours!!

That's not a very long time.

It's supposed to be 40 degrees by Friday and maybe back up to normal and 50 degrees by Sunday. So even if we are snowed in for two days...it will all be gone in two days too.

This is not the End-of-Times...it's just a pause in the life of a busy city and busy people.

I plan to get up early ...drink some hot chocolate and get an early start to my silent auction work. I have several phone calls to make and I'll probably get in touch with the people...since they will be snow bound in their houses and not in the stores or at meetings.

See there's already something good happening out of this.

I've built a small little shelter for my wild cat which she is sitting in right now...and it should keep her a bit snug till the snow comes and melts. It leans right against my front door so I can toss her some cat food during the day if the snow piles up. Not ideal...but being an abandoned kitten in winter is not ideal either.

I'll also probably make myself an egg sandwich for breakfast....a tradition on a snow day ...followed by lots of coffee.

So weathermen and women keep flaying your arms...let's see how much stuff we get....my only concern....that we don't lose power...cause if I don't have my freaking computer I can't do my auction work....and then I will start freaking out.

Okay....no snow flakes yet...nite nite and let's see what happens tomorrow.

Southern's Enjoyment of Snow over Time...click on picture to enlarge.

The End of Times at my local grocery store.

It's a snow day here in the South...and I did a stupid thing....I went to the gym early ....and then hungry as hell went to the grocery store as the first flakes of snow hit the southern asphalt.

Everyone in town also witnessed that first flake, checked their smart phones...saw the opaque mess on the weather radar moving towards us and drove like crazy people to the grocery store too.

I groaned when I hit the parking lot since quite a few folks made it there before I did. I hit the milk section first....because #2 son, although a grown young adult, can't seem to survive without chocolate milk. Thank heavens a few jugs left.

As the grocery store filled up with people... and I smelled the panic in the air......I sort of went berserk.

My hungry tummy plus all those Eastern European and Siberian ancestors in my DNA joined to form a toxic mix which morphed me into an extreme carbo hunter armed with a steel grocery cart.

Package of cookies to bake....yes!
Tortilla chips ....yes!
High energy cereal....yes!
Frozen yogurt ...yes!
La Leche topping....oh yes yes yes yes !

My cart filled and filled. My logical mind stepped in for a few minutes to buy some lean ground beef , some veggies and fruit...and then was shut off by my carbo hunting ancient ancestors who shouted in my head, "Screw the bananas .....grab the potatoes."

Yes great great grandmamas and grandpas.

Finally cart full.....I ended up in check out lines at least 12 people deep....everyone keeping one eye out the window at the snow and the other eye on people who might dare cut into the line.

The line didn't bother me.....I updated my Facebook status, texted the family that I had saved the day and procured food, and read my email. I took a deep breath.....I felt like an ancient hunter with a mastodon in my sled....we would not starve tonight...no matter how cold or how much snow.

I drove home and called out #1 son who was off work to help me empty the car. He opened the trunk and look startled...."What happened?" Which I took to me, why the heck are there so many bags of food. But hey, I have three men to feed, two dogs, two cats and one wild cat to tend to.....and since I'm the appointed hunter in the family right now....I'd rather have surplus then listen to all these men and animals moan.....about the lack of something to eat. Not that we couldn't all use a few days of starvation.....lol...

Anyways...There's a couple inches of snow........amounts people up North and on the East Coast would laugh at....but we take are inches seriously down here in the south. We are a fragile people who cannot go without bread and milk and the nice-ities of life like cookies and hot chocolate.


Actually hot chocolate sounds real good right now...so I think I'll head downstairs and make some then snuggle up in my office chair and start working on the silent auction bids and narratives I need to write.

If anything it's a perfect day to spend on the computer....now that I have faced down the End of Times.

Brrrrrrrrrrr..................

Oh baby it's cold down south.....maybe 16 degrees tonight.

I read my hometown paper, the Chicago Tribune, and I got goosebumps looking at the winter blast snow pictures. I couldn't believe the photos of Lake Shore Drive.....900 cars stalled out in the snow. People sat in their cars for 12-14 hours.....okay my first thought.....did anyone have to go to the bathroom? And how?

In my own hometown, I'm worried about my little wild kitty.....she gotten a bit more tame.....we've moved from ear scratching....to back scratching to a slight tummy rub...(very slight)...I even gave her a name..... Snickers....but at this temperature a young animal could be in serious trouble. I turned on the heating pad under my door map...but she ran away....hopefully to someplace warmer and out of the wind. I'll be up early in the morning with canned cat food if she makes it.

I called my Auntie in Chicago to check on her and she is snug and warm...but my daughter in Ohio had lots of weather trouble. Buried under some snow and ice.....they lost power for 16 hours....around hour 15 they thought about trying to navigate their steep driveway to find warmth at a friend's house. Fortunately the power came on....and hopefully it will stay on as the wind chill is below zero there.

I pulled up the New York Times and read snow stories around the Midwest and got so cold and bummed out reading about the blizzard....I made some hot chocolate with a shot of mocha and a dash of whip cream and put some extra socks on and a t-shirt. Bundled up now, my eastern European DNA is screaming for carbohydrates.....eat candy.....chips....a nice slice of meat with some warm bread and butter.......anything to put the pounds on to protect myself from these winter temperatures...never mind that winter only lasts about three weeks in the south...my body is screaming lard me baby!

Sigh....I tell the cravings in my head to calm down....by the weekend it will be 45 degrees.....but you can't tell my inner ancestors that.....they are sipping the hot chocolate and protesting the lack of some cookies or cake to go with it.

Thank heavens we only suffer through a week or so of winter or else I would be a blimp.......

Stay warm and safe my friends up North....and East

Supersize my Fries

"Light your candles at 5:15pm"

My weeks are getting busier and harder.....the silent auction is just three weeks away and I have over 100 items to organize, summarize, fancy up and haul to a downtown hotel.

The auction itself would be enough of a vise but I'm taking a couple of classes....and it seems from the moment I open my eyes till I try and close them....I am over-scheduled.

So when the text arrived around noon on Friday to light the Sabbath candles at 5:15pm....I stopped....and thought ....I have to do this...I have to rest, recharge and regain my composure.

I phoned my husband and told him to be home before 5:15pm. I ran to the bakery to get a warm buttery soft challah loaf....I dashed into the grocery store for the makings of a dinner salad.....I sped home....cleaned off the table.....opened the wine.....chopped the veggies up.....grabbed a new tablecloth from the closet.....opened my grandfather's special wooden box to retrieve the shabbat candles....lighter.....glasses.......loaded up the coffee pot....cleaned up the kitchen....all with my eyes glued on the clock.

It was almost like a game....could I get everything done before 5:15pm?

5:12..hubby walks in.

5:13 ...hurry put a cover on the challah.

5:14...hurry hurry and get hubby to sit down.

5:15....amen ...I made it. I lite the candles...said the prayer quietly to myself.....sigh and sit down.

My hub and I looked at each startled. Our meals have been so fast and quick this week...half of them I didn't even eat with the men folks but here we are.....face to face over the dinner table.

We clinked our wine glasses. My phone made it's little messages-and-texts-are-here-noises which I ignored. We put on some music.....I reminded myself I could eat slowly....I had no place to dash off to.....I would eat...digest....chat...read....but generally be still...maybe we would watch a movie together later.

It felt so wonderful to regain myself..... I decided to miss my morning class and even services on Saturday. I tried to keep calm......I did a little studying....and again we sat down to a quiet dinner. I didn't do the Havdahla service...the service which ends the Sabbath.... because I actually did not want to the day to end....I decided to continue for a few more hours.....and I plan to hit the sack early and get up early on Sunday to start the day fresh.....classes first....then get started organizing and writing up the auction items.

The next weeks will be very intense.

Thank G-d for the Sabbath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

To touch, to tame, to connect.

For 4-5 weeks....a skinny ragged little kitten has made her home in the bushes in our front yard.

I don't know how she found us, perhaps, some invisible sign written in cat language is staked in our front yard...."these people are nice to strays."

Whatever, she was a small streak of gray meowing in the bushes.... obviously hungry and I have cat food.

I hesitated for only a few seconds before placing the bowl under the bushes.... I don't want another cat.

I have two cats, two dogs, two sons living with me....and one husband.

The Inn is full.

My last cat, Fancypants, was a stray but I'm not an animal hoarder or someone that takes in every animal that wanders our way.

Still...I could not not feed this small cat. I would figure out what to do with her later.

To my surprise....the little kitty hissed and arched her back trying to look ferocious when I placed the bowl down.

I wondered if she was feral....but her little ribs were sticking out and whatever she was....she was under my bush, in front of my house meowing pitifully.

I fed her the next day and the next day.

She wouldn't come to me and always kept a couple of feet distance.... each time I got down on my knees and peered under the bushes... she would sink further back into the greenery and hiss.

I tried to catch her as the weather grew colder....put out a cat carrier with food in it...but once she was inside... she flung herself so hard against the grate her nose starting bleeding...so I let her go.

And so we continued our little dance.....

"Kitty are you there?"

Meow Meow.

"Here's some food"

Hiss. Hiss.

With snow and below freezing temperatures coming, I worried for the little thing but I wasn't sure what to do.

One day when I opened our front door on a very cold morning, kitty was sitting on our doorstep...but she zipped away the minute I bent over and tried to touch her.

So I placed a bowl of food on our front porch and waited......she peeked out of the bushes and cautiously stepped onto the porch to eat....she had one eye on her food and one eye on me. If I moved....she ran away.

So the dance moved to our front porch.

The night before the first snow storm, I looked out the door's window and saw her sitting on our steps. Cold, small...a little spit of a thing....I knew I had to do to provide some sort of shelter for her or she might not make it. But anything that reeked of human....like a towel...a box....she jumped away from.

Since she occasionally sat on our doormat.... I found an old heating pad and slipped it under our mat and plugged it in to our outdoor lights. Within minutes, after I shut the front door, she curled up in a tight knot over the doormat. Next trip outside, I placed a small square of wood in front of the front step to provide a little wind screen.

Heating blankets don't stay on continuously....people were injured or burned when pads were left on so most heating pads have a two hour timer....which meant someone in our household would have to open the front door and reactivate the heater for our wild cat.

We all took turns ...anyone who was passed the front door looked out the side window to see if the red heating light was still on. Each time someone reactivated the pad.... she jumped away quick as lightening but jumped back just as quickly.

She survived the first snow storm and the ensuing bitter cold nights after. I would reactivate the blanket at about 1am before I went to bed....and my son, who leaves for work at 5am, would be the first in the morning to turn the thing back on...which meant she only had a two hour window to keep warm on her own.

Since she survived the cold tough week, I thought I would try a different approach. I sat down on the front step and waited. Sure enough....she'd peek out of the bushes...cautiously jump onto the front porch...dance around....stretch...rub herself against my flower pots....but she always kept the two foot distance between her and my outstretched hand.

"Come here kitty kitty" I would say softly to her.

"Meow" she'd answer...dancing around in a circle but still keeping her distance.

And then yesterday.....the usual routine....I gave her some food....went about my day....and opened the door around noon to sit on the front step for a few minutes.

Out she popped from her little home in the bushes.....and then she carefully....walked closer to me....I reached out my hand.....I could see the hesitancy in her body.......all her muscles seemed ready to spring ....and then she moved her head towards my fingers...paused.... then bent her head down for a few seconds....allowing me to scratch her..... behind her cold little ears.

We both jumped apart after contact.

She looked as surprised as I was.

What happened today? Why today? After a month of shying away from me....what had changed? Why did she decide to trust me for three seconds...to offer me her neck to touch...to connect?

I don't know.

She came up to me later in the day and allowed me another scratchie then darted off.

Now I'm wondering if she is really feral or is she simply an abandoned kitty who's never been touched or petted.

A couple hours ago I saw a preview for the movie "No Strings Attached" and I found myself smiling because I can guess the plot.....girl asks guy for sex// no strings attached....touch touch kiss kiss...but somehow the same door that opened today between my wild cat and I is opened on a bigger scale when a man and a woman are involved.....the touch...the skin contact creates a connection.

Touching an animal or another person....changes you....some neural pathway is altered....some synapse which was unconnected is connected and caring...concern....attention...flows easier.....and the more we touch.....the more the bond strengthens.......which is why "No Strings" doesn't work often in life....and why I am now worried about a little wild cat sitting somewhere under my bushes.

I opened my front door a few hours ago and wild kitty is not there....the doormat is heated...the board in place....and it's very cold....hopefully she has found another spot which is warmer ...safer than my front door.

So now I am more concerned for her and for her safety....now....that she trusts me a little....I've reciprocated by caring a little more about her. I've even thought of giving of her name.

You touch...you connect....and then there are consequences.

Where are you little wild cat?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pretty nipple pasties that I don't sell.

I admit they're pretty.....I'm sure they would be fun to wear .....but unfortunately I don't sell them.



In the strange world of the Internet....somehow ...somewhere in the galaxy someone has incorrectly swapped my blog address with Gina's Gems.....a blog that highlights...a different
Gina's unique pasties.

In the last couple weeks I've received about a dozen emails about her products....inquiring on cost, on adhesive, and wondering about custom designs.

Huh? I didn't know I was in the pasties business....so a quick check of the net and a few replies and hopefully I have sent customers back to the right Gina.

All these questions about pasties had me wondering though.....can you get them off quickly? do they leave an adhesive residue?

And one more BIG question...do they hurt when you take them off....because there's nothing like setting a sexy scene then shrieking ouch ouch ouch!

Inquiring minds I guess.

Snowmen happen in the South.....

We only get snow a couple times a year.....so it's not unusual to see spontaneous snowmen spring up...sometimes in unusual places.

They're not just for kids down here.

Early morning 'round my house......

Snow Day

It's quiet in my house....the 5-6 inches of snow created a thick blanket of insulation around us.

Although for most people it's a snow day....my husband is a state employee and is considered "essential personnel." So early this morning....we warmed and moved cars on our driveway....scraped windows and kicked the snow around. He'll go downhill initially to work but then he'll have to drive up "Bale Hill"....also known as "Car Hill."

There's an auto dealership on top of the hill.....but when the rare snow hits us.....Car Hill will be littered on both sides of the road with abandoned or wrecked autos as southern drivers who aren't used to driving in snow flunk the attempt.

Yesterday I had to drive through the snow to get home from a meeting. I felt nervous and panicky. Yes, I had bread and milk at home...but somehow the 2-3 inches of snow was getting under my skin. Drivers were already doing stupid things ...not giving their cars enough gas to get up a hill.....turning sharply and braking.......and then a few idiots who were driving too fast. But I grew up in Chicago and went to college in Omaha were snow drifts rule in winter....surely I wouldn't forget winter driving lessons......but I think that's what made me nervous.....I was losing my confidence. I've lived too long in the south.....and a once or twice a year practice of snow driving doesn't keep your skills honed.

Fortunately, I made it home...safe and sound.....giving my car enough gas to make it up "Car Hill" and giving the finally push to get up my own hill...where my house sits.

I'm a little concerned about a small stray kitty we were feeding....she is, probably half feral, but we put a little food out in this cold weather for her. I found her snuggled up against my front door but as I soon as I opened the door she ran away.....hopefully to a better spot to shelter.

So as far as my snow day goes.....I'll grab one more cup of coffee and start working on the silent auction.....unfortunately or fortunately......email and texts still work.

Bluntcard.com

An amazing photo....

I am not sure how I stumbled upon this picture on the net....but it has haunted me for the last two days.

The picture is absolutely perfect....the light....the halo effect around the girl's head....the quiet startle effect.....the young in between adult and child huntress....South Africa....the gut reaction to a dead animal on a live animal.

The Visual Blog gives background on the picture:

"This year’s Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize at the National Portrait Gallery has been awarded to David Chancellor’s photograph Huntress with Buck. In the photograph we can see a young woman sitting on a horse looking down into the camera. The photograph appears to be slightly manipulated, as the area near the head of the main subject seems to be brightened to increase her aura. The low vantage point of the camera and the elevated position of the huntress have the effect that she looks grand and statuesque. In his photograph, Chancellor evokes the iconography of equestrian statues depicting knights, gods and military leaders. The central relationship is not between the huntress and her horse, but between the huntress and the buck lying dead across the horse’s back. The symbolism here is pretty clear: the horse is alive, the buck is dead, their bodies crossing each other where the huntress is sitting. The huntress is portrayed as killer as much as a nurturer.

In a sense, the huntress is at a crossroad herself: she is neither girl nor woman. Without the caption provided, the androgynous looks of the subject also fail to indicate a clear gender identity. It is perhaps an ungendered performance that is possible in the ‘wild’ settings the photograph was taken in. This notion of inbetweeness is further emphasized by the lighting: photographed when the sun was kissing the horizon, it is neither day, nor is it night. The low sunlight has the effect that all elements in the photograph come visually together as, for a brief moment, everything is steeped in a deep red colour."

Although the photograph was taken in South Africa, the girl is American from Alabama and ironically her last name is Slaughter. There's been much chatter on the web about rich girls keeping up the hunting traditions of royalty and the moral consequences of trophy hunting.

One article mentioned an interesting aspect of the picture.....neither animal....dead or alive looks at the camera....it is only the human being, who is capable of making moral decisions, who looks us into the eye and asks us....perhaps defies us to have an opinion.

Amazing.

My New Year's Weekend.....

Friday: pulled a muscle in my back.




Saturday: got a mild case of food poisoning which kicked in exactly two minutes after Midnight..



Sunday: started a fire in the oven....flames...billowing black smoke.

But I still remain optimistic about the coming year.

A song for your soul on the last day of the year.