Boa Constrictors, deranged costume characters and now Mike Huckabee.....being the pr manager in a bookstore is never dull....exhuasting....totally exhuasting....but never dull.
~~
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Catholic Girl Syndrome or I can't work unless I'm wearing a skirt.
I have only a few minutes....
.
but I knew if I didn't come home and change into a skirt my big event tonight would be doomed.
.
I have an author/politician coming to the store and we're expecting a huge crowd...,,hundreds of people.
.
I thought I could break the jinx and wear pants to work....and I left this morning wearing a nice pair of dressy pants....but as the hours ticked by....I started to panic....could I pull this off without stockings and a skirt?
.
Obviously this is not a 10 nickel day and one to take lots of risks.
.
Too many people...too big a production company....and I'm sure the TV crews will visit.
.
In pants....I could trip over a cord.....lose books.....agitate customers....but in a skirt with silky stockings and a little swish to my body as I walk down the power aisle....all will be well....
.
All those years of wearing uniforms in catholic school have imprinted on me....skirts just above the knees....shoes cute but practical.....looks like I still can't get down to business without the same outfit on.
.
Sister's' Marys....pray for your wayward girl here....Amen
.
~~~~~
Sunday, November 23, 2008
A Message from Cleopatra
Cleopatra keeps nagging me.
She was a slot machine in Vegas.
My hotel room came with a complimentary beverage and a few free bucks at a slot machine.
I drank the wine....and then registered to use my Vegas bucks.
Only a few slot machines would accept these particular Vegas bucks......so I wandered around the casino trying to pick up a good luck vibe.....felt nothing.....and plunked myself down in front of Cleopatra.
After all, this wasn't serious gambling....but a few free minutes of fun.
Hub joined me and I could hear his Mensa neurons snapping because he couldn't figure out the strange patterns which equaled a win.
Cleopatra seemed to defy logic.
So I started to play my nickels....you could play between 1-10 nickels at a spin.
The more nickels you risked.....the more your chances ....but of course the more you would lose each play.
I played my nickels very Gina-like......I wouldn't bet 1 or 2 nickels.....and I certainly wouldn't bet 9-10.....I would hit the 6-7 range.... then go wild with a single 8 nickel spin even a rare 10 nickel spin.... then return to my above average yet comfortable risk zone.
A zig zag light suddenly flashed on the screen.....and I earned a couple complimentary spins and viola..... I won ...$20.00
Respectable.......not spectacular......but enough of an enticement to keep me pressing the nickel at button on the machine.....at least until my Vegas bucks were used up.
Because I wasn't sure what I was doing....or how the lines were paying off.....I did something odd for me.......even though I consciously knew I would lose more and my bucks might be used up quickly....I started betting 9-10 nickels.
It was uncomfortable....I wanted to return to at least my 7 range...but I kept, for some reason, pushing myself....pressing the 10 button....risking it all.....50 cents a spin!!!
And just like before .....some mysterious zig zag..... earned a couple complimentary spins.
But the catch was......
your winnings on the complimentary spin were determined by the amount you were betting......so at 6 nickels a spin....you might win 20.00 dollars.....
but at 9-10 nickels a spin......the winnings skyrocketed....
I took my complimentary spin and won $100.00.
I was shocked....not just because I won something...but because I realized (on this small level) big risks can pay off.
If I had stayed the Gina-course I would have won 20.00.....but by pushing myself....I quadrupled my rewards.
This is nutty....
but I keep thinking I stumbled upon a life lesson here.....one of those inadvertent things...
So is the way to win big in life....based upon how much a leap....a risk you are willing to take?
if you do things very conservatively.....you win....solidly...
if you take above average risk.......you win....sufficiently....
but if you make yourself uncomfortable....if you go beyond what you normally would do.....
is that when life lets you cash in?
Is that when you find the great job.....or adventure....or the relationship of a lifetime?
If you go beyond your comfort zone....force yourself into a new place....is that when you find something spectacular?
If you bet 2 nickels....you would never get there.....if you bet 7 nickels...you could on occasion get there.....but if you bet 10....you could hit the jackpot more often.....
I can't stop thinking about it.....
I'm wondering if I've lived a 6-7 nickel life?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She was a slot machine in Vegas.
My hotel room came with a complimentary beverage and a few free bucks at a slot machine.
I drank the wine....and then registered to use my Vegas bucks.
Only a few slot machines would accept these particular Vegas bucks......so I wandered around the casino trying to pick up a good luck vibe.....felt nothing.....and plunked myself down in front of Cleopatra.
After all, this wasn't serious gambling....but a few free minutes of fun.
Hub joined me and I could hear his Mensa neurons snapping because he couldn't figure out the strange patterns which equaled a win.
Cleopatra seemed to defy logic.
So I started to play my nickels....you could play between 1-10 nickels at a spin.
The more nickels you risked.....the more your chances ....but of course the more you would lose each play.
I played my nickels very Gina-like......I wouldn't bet 1 or 2 nickels.....and I certainly wouldn't bet 9-10.....I would hit the 6-7 range.... then go wild with a single 8 nickel spin even a rare 10 nickel spin.... then return to my above average yet comfortable risk zone.
A zig zag light suddenly flashed on the screen.....and I earned a couple complimentary spins and viola..... I won ...$20.00
Respectable.......not spectacular......but enough of an enticement to keep me pressing the nickel at button on the machine.....at least until my Vegas bucks were used up.
Because I wasn't sure what I was doing....or how the lines were paying off.....I did something odd for me.......even though I consciously knew I would lose more and my bucks might be used up quickly....I started betting 9-10 nickels.
It was uncomfortable....I wanted to return to at least my 7 range...but I kept, for some reason, pushing myself....pressing the 10 button....risking it all.....50 cents a spin!!!
And just like before .....some mysterious zig zag..... earned a couple complimentary spins.
But the catch was......
your winnings on the complimentary spin were determined by the amount you were betting......so at 6 nickels a spin....you might win 20.00 dollars.....
but at 9-10 nickels a spin......the winnings skyrocketed....
I took my complimentary spin and won $100.00.
I was shocked....not just because I won something...but because I realized (on this small level) big risks can pay off.
If I had stayed the Gina-course I would have won 20.00.....but by pushing myself....I quadrupled my rewards.
This is nutty....
but I keep thinking I stumbled upon a life lesson here.....one of those inadvertent things...
So is the way to win big in life....based upon how much a leap....a risk you are willing to take?
if you do things very conservatively.....you win....solidly...
if you take above average risk.......you win....sufficiently....
but if you make yourself uncomfortable....if you go beyond what you normally would do.....
is that when life lets you cash in?
Is that when you find the great job.....or adventure....or the relationship of a lifetime?
If you go beyond your comfort zone....force yourself into a new place....is that when you find something spectacular?
If you bet 2 nickels....you would never get there.....if you bet 7 nickels...you could on occasion get there.....but if you bet 10....you could hit the jackpot more often.....
I can't stop thinking about it.....
I'm wondering if I've lived a 6-7 nickel life?????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, November 17, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
A Booth of my Own......
I checked the time and groaned.
I had 3 more hours to be perky, peppy and pleasant.
I was exhausted.
It takes an enormous amount of energy to be nice for hours at a convention and say things in a fresh voice.
"Hey ...you need some chocolate?" asks the professor in the next booth. He lures people to his exhibit--decreasing the drop out rate---- with pieces of chocolate.
"How many have I eaten?"
"Only two."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"How about a sweet treat?" He says seductively to some ladies as they near his booth.
While they pick through the chocolates in the glass bowl, he offers them his brochure....he's trying to coax them onto a university website where years of research are summarized in a friendly format to help educators find the right program to help kids from dropping out of school...it's important stuff to him....and yet he offers it to the teachers without being heavy handed.
They walk away munching their chocolate bars.
"Will they read it? "
He shrugs. "If one or two read it or remember it....a few extra kids will make it. "
He says this matter-of-fact.... as if he would accept just a few saves...but I sense the passion and knowledge all bundled up inside him.
He probably wishes he could grab each teacher and shout...."For god's sake woman ...get your principal to check out this website and do something!"
"How about a sweet treat?" he asks for 1000th time.....and while the teacher searches the bowl...he readies his pamphlet...cans his passion.....and suggests his website.
And me? I slip into Gina-May-I-Help-You mode and teach a hundred small things about how teachers can use our store. I'm glad its not total bullshit.
An attractive man in a casual but pressed shirt says hello and asks me about my corporation ...and how the economy is affecting the store.
Happy for new questions....I chat the man up.....blending this and that statistic and offering what I thought was a coherent guess on the economy. He asks if he can sit down....outside the booth on the chair.
"Of course of course"......
It's a little quiet now because the continuing education sessions have started.
"I like your shoes."
I 'm so startled by his remark....I look down to see what I have on my feet.
Black mules...of modest heel with an open back.
"What school district are you from?"
"Oh I'm not a teacher..... I build churches. I'm staying at the hotel next door and I was walking through the hall and thought you looked like an interesting and attractive woman."
I blushed from my mules to my ear lobes.
Good god, I've been chatting up this man like he was a school superintendent or something and he just a guy that straggled in off the street.
"My mother would like those shoes."
Oh ho.....(Gina's alarm is going off...he's in his mid forties with salt and pepper hair....no ring and he's talking about his mother.)
"Where did you get them? She has bunions."
My mental alarm is now going auuuuuwoooogaah.
I write down the name of the store and where it's located.
I try to make come-rescue-me-eyes to the professor next to me....but he misreads my intentions and offers me another piece of chocolate.
"Women just don't know how to dress like women anymore."
Oh ho.
His phone rings...he nods and takes the call.
Thank you gods of the universe.... my cell phone rings too...and I jump up and walk up the stairs and out into the lobby. Screw the booth...I'm going to hide for a while....next thing you know he'll be want to smell my feet or something.
When I return... he's gone but I'm still off my game.....Little miss information....chatting up some random guy....oh boy.....I actually consider packing up and leaving but I remember Friday is only a half day session....and since I've already been supremely caught off guard...lightening can't strike again.
The professor and I arrive early Friday morning and agree we are dog tired.
But each time someone passes....we turn on the charm.
"I know your spiel by heart." I tell him....
"Well I'm going to work for your bookstore after this."
Church builder with a bunion-ed mother and fetish for my shoes does not return.
I am relieved.
People start packing up and I head off to the car. I've brought a pair of jeans and old shoes plus a small handcart.
I tear my stockings as I pull the hand cart out of my trunk so I decide to change clothes now. I'm in the back of the garage and there's no one around.
I slip off silky stockings... pull my skirt down....and then what the hell......I pull my top off and toss my sweatshirt on.
Not quite zipped up and re-arranged ...I look around ......and step out of the car....pantie rearrangement...bra rearrangement...zip up....clogs on....okie dokey.
But I have a weird feeling....and quickly look around.....half expecting church builder to pop up between some cars.....but there's nothing......except for a little mechanical sound.
I look up.....
and blush from my clogs to my ear lobes.
Oh well....
I wave at the security camera and grab my hand cart....
all I can say is....
I was wearing good underwear and I've had my convention baptism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had 3 more hours to be perky, peppy and pleasant.
I was exhausted.
It takes an enormous amount of energy to be nice for hours at a convention and say things in a fresh voice.
"Hey ...you need some chocolate?" asks the professor in the next booth. He lures people to his exhibit--decreasing the drop out rate---- with pieces of chocolate.
"How many have I eaten?"
"Only two."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"How about a sweet treat?" He says seductively to some ladies as they near his booth.
While they pick through the chocolates in the glass bowl, he offers them his brochure....he's trying to coax them onto a university website where years of research are summarized in a friendly format to help educators find the right program to help kids from dropping out of school...it's important stuff to him....and yet he offers it to the teachers without being heavy handed.
They walk away munching their chocolate bars.
"Will they read it? "
He shrugs. "If one or two read it or remember it....a few extra kids will make it. "
He says this matter-of-fact.... as if he would accept just a few saves...but I sense the passion and knowledge all bundled up inside him.
He probably wishes he could grab each teacher and shout...."For god's sake woman ...get your principal to check out this website and do something!"
"How about a sweet treat?" he asks for 1000th time.....and while the teacher searches the bowl...he readies his pamphlet...cans his passion.....and suggests his website.
And me? I slip into Gina-May-I-Help-You mode and teach a hundred small things about how teachers can use our store. I'm glad its not total bullshit.
An attractive man in a casual but pressed shirt says hello and asks me about my corporation ...and how the economy is affecting the store.
Happy for new questions....I chat the man up.....blending this and that statistic and offering what I thought was a coherent guess on the economy. He asks if he can sit down....outside the booth on the chair.
"Of course of course"......
It's a little quiet now because the continuing education sessions have started.
"I like your shoes."
I 'm so startled by his remark....I look down to see what I have on my feet.
Black mules...of modest heel with an open back.
"What school district are you from?"
"Oh I'm not a teacher..... I build churches. I'm staying at the hotel next door and I was walking through the hall and thought you looked like an interesting and attractive woman."
I blushed from my mules to my ear lobes.
Good god, I've been chatting up this man like he was a school superintendent or something and he just a guy that straggled in off the street.
"My mother would like those shoes."
Oh ho.....(Gina's alarm is going off...he's in his mid forties with salt and pepper hair....no ring and he's talking about his mother.)
"Where did you get them? She has bunions."
My mental alarm is now going auuuuuwoooogaah.
I write down the name of the store and where it's located.
I try to make come-rescue-me-eyes to the professor next to me....but he misreads my intentions and offers me another piece of chocolate.
"Women just don't know how to dress like women anymore."
Oh ho.
His phone rings...he nods and takes the call.
Thank you gods of the universe.... my cell phone rings too...and I jump up and walk up the stairs and out into the lobby. Screw the booth...I'm going to hide for a while....next thing you know he'll be want to smell my feet or something.
When I return... he's gone but I'm still off my game.....Little miss information....chatting up some random guy....oh boy.....I actually consider packing up and leaving but I remember Friday is only a half day session....and since I've already been supremely caught off guard...lightening can't strike again.
~~~~
The professor and I arrive early Friday morning and agree we are dog tired.
But each time someone passes....we turn on the charm.
"I know your spiel by heart." I tell him....
"Well I'm going to work for your bookstore after this."
Church builder with a bunion-ed mother and fetish for my shoes does not return.
I am relieved.
People start packing up and I head off to the car. I've brought a pair of jeans and old shoes plus a small handcart.
I tear my stockings as I pull the hand cart out of my trunk so I decide to change clothes now. I'm in the back of the garage and there's no one around.
I slip off silky stockings... pull my skirt down....and then what the hell......I pull my top off and toss my sweatshirt on.
Not quite zipped up and re-arranged ...I look around ......and step out of the car....pantie rearrangement...bra rearrangement...zip up....clogs on....okie dokey.
But I have a weird feeling....and quickly look around.....half expecting church builder to pop up between some cars.....but there's nothing......except for a little mechanical sound.
I look up.....
and blush from my clogs to my ear lobes.
Oh well....
I wave at the security camera and grab my hand cart....
all I can say is....
I was wearing good underwear and I've had my convention baptism.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Jesus...A Kosher Bagel....and Iceland....it's good to be dreaming again
"Jesus this is good."
.
My friend Amos sends me temple alerts when the synagogue orders the famous H & H kosher bagels from Manhattan. Loving them, I went right to the temple website and ordered some...to assure I'd receive some eating goodness ....one sumptuous everything bagel with poppy seeds and onions and one pack of plain bagels.
.
H & H bagels are wondrous. Thick... chewy.... plump and substantial ....and from New York City....how can you go wrong?
.
So for lunch.....I took my everything bagel.....loaded it with maple-glazed ham (not too kosher) and cheese (definitely not kosher) and dill pickle slices. Popped it in the microwave.... so the cheese would become warm and gooey.....and even in the dismal utilitarian setting of our bleak break room at work......I felt happy....eating the best lunch in the world accompanied by my new beverage passion....an ice cold diet Pepsi max.
.
Immediately after I finished the bagel.....I realized I wanted to go to Iceland.
.
Most of my travel history arrives like this....a sudden epiphany.... a particular country or place is waiting for me. I thought Israel was calling me (or was that the bagels messing with me)....but I knew after lunch...it was definitely Iceland.
.
Of course there is no way I can go to Iceland right now.
.
This week I'm working seven days in a row...and until December 14th.....I don't even have days marked off. A complete grueling schedule of book fairs and author appearances and even weird things thrown in like manning a booth at a convention for the next few days.... smother my calender.
.
"Iceland" is not penciled in....there's not even space for it.
.
Even if I could go in spring.....the wall.....oh THE WALL....that is my parent's situation is getting bigger and is waiting for me.
.
Just this weekend, I had to call the police in my parent's suburb to do a "well-being check" on them.
.
My mother's dementia has progressed to the point where she thinks she has paid bills...my dad is clueless and won't ask me for help....so consequently when I called to check on them....I received a strange ring tone and a message that the "phone had been temporarily disconnected." Since their neighbor hasn't been home, I sent the police to check them.
.
My dad called from a pay phone and left a message that the "phone wasn't working"....but I know ....it's because my mom didn't pay the bill which has happened several times over the last couple months......I also know when I go home for Thanksgiving....I will be scared shitless with their situation.
.
Since they won't come to me....I will have to go to them....assess...and figure out what needs to be done. It doesn't look good. But there is nothing I can do...except go....and then tackle.
.
So Iceland.... is sort of a dream.
.
But I haven't had many dreams lately especially with my work schedule and work.....and so this morning....I smiled.....my personality....my soul....everything about me....needs dreams...and I was glad to awake to feel the idea of Iceland in me.
.
Geez I can't wait to bite into a plain bagel....what exactly do those guys in New York City put in the dough?
~~~~~~~~~~~
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Didn't Have to Wait too Long.....
My media blackout only lasted till 8:30pm.
I decided to work for a couple hours at my office and when I returned home....someone left the kitchen TV on....with the electoral votes racking up quickly.... there wasn't any need to close my eyes.
So I watched.
McCain gave a gracious concession speech (was that the same man that was on the campaign trail?) and then Obama gave his acceptance speech in my home town.
He seemed burdened already.....as if he was feeling the weight of the world's expectations.
I thought of the people I had met in my travels in Africa and Asia and I chuckled.
I am sure they stopped in their tracks....and thought it was some media trick...some strange hologram speaking....how could America actually vote for someone that had their exotic bloodlines?
And yet often when I looked at Obama's careful calm demeanor....I thought of Indonesia where he grew up. A man is prized in Indonesia for not showing outward anger....or exaggerated emotions....to be truly considered a gentleman in Asia...you never lose face....you would never yell or scream...or show anger or intense emotion.
People have remarked on his temperament...but I'm sure his natural abilities to remain calm....were nurtured in the Indonesian culture.
He is a man of the world...different races....and with a multi cultural background: the Aloha sense from Hawaii....the "good face" he learned in Indonesia.....the East Coast Educational Elite and finally the practical grounded Midwest man.
Like many people...I was in tears....during his acceptance speech.....but as the camera panned back and you could see the enormous crowd around him....I was afraid for him....please god let them all be sane.....and give him a chance to work....in our world...the demons are always waiting in the wings to destroy change.
~~~~~
I decided to work for a couple hours at my office and when I returned home....someone left the kitchen TV on....with the electoral votes racking up quickly.... there wasn't any need to close my eyes.
So I watched.
McCain gave a gracious concession speech (was that the same man that was on the campaign trail?) and then Obama gave his acceptance speech in my home town.
He seemed burdened already.....as if he was feeling the weight of the world's expectations.
I thought of the people I had met in my travels in Africa and Asia and I chuckled.
I am sure they stopped in their tracks....and thought it was some media trick...some strange hologram speaking....how could America actually vote for someone that had their exotic bloodlines?
And yet often when I looked at Obama's careful calm demeanor....I thought of Indonesia where he grew up. A man is prized in Indonesia for not showing outward anger....or exaggerated emotions....to be truly considered a gentleman in Asia...you never lose face....you would never yell or scream...or show anger or intense emotion.
People have remarked on his temperament...but I'm sure his natural abilities to remain calm....were nurtured in the Indonesian culture.
He is a man of the world...different races....and with a multi cultural background: the Aloha sense from Hawaii....the "good face" he learned in Indonesia.....the East Coast Educational Elite and finally the practical grounded Midwest man.
Like many people...I was in tears....during his acceptance speech.....but as the camera panned back and you could see the enormous crowd around him....I was afraid for him....please god let them all be sane.....and give him a chance to work....in our world...the demons are always waiting in the wings to destroy change.
~~~~~
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
My Election Day Strategy
I'm so anxious over the election.....I decided the only way to cope is for a total media and thought black out for the rest of the day.
No computer home pages with headlines, no TV, no radio....no peeking at CNN or the NY Times online.
Nothing.
I told my family...when they announce a winner....let me know.. My nerves are frayed enough from my job without gnashing it through the next 20 hours.
So until its over..... I'm not listening...looking or talking about it for the rest of the day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Giant half-naked women on trucks and Girlie Cards....More things I learned about on my Vacation
I was sitting in our rental car wondering where our hotel was located on the "Strip."
Stalled in bumper to bumper traffic, we weren't moving anywhere in this part of Vegas.
I bent over to grab my cell phone and noticed the half naked woman on rear door of the truck in front of us.
HOT BABES
THEY REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.
702-555 5555
I stretched from one side to the other and saw that each side of the truck had a large picture of a blond-haired woman clad in black lacy lingerie .
She was reclining in the classic men's magazine pose: lips parted and tugging at her bikini bottom....the ...I-must-pull-these-off-RIGHT-NOW!...look.
This was not a small truck....consequently.....this woman was HUGE.
"Huh. Do you see the woman on the truck in front of us?"
Hub was staring straight ahead and probably had been for a long time....he was being a very attentive driver....and probably had been oggling her for miles.
Since I like words...I couldn't help but focus on the short one liner under her body......They really want to meet you.
So interesting....because ...by inserting the word "really"......it implies that these women are guaranteed to like you.... a man doesn't have to fear rejection.
In other words....no worries....unlike women in the real world....these women will always welcome your presence.
Another truck with a similar billboard passed by. I felt a pang of ......discomfort.
Yes...it's Vegas....but ....geeez 12 foot high girlie ads are just so .....obvious.
Turning my attention to the sidewalk crowds.....I noticed groups of men in bright hunter orange t-shirts in clumps every couple blocks. The shirts were stiff...new and cheap....and worn over dingy clothes.
GO GO GO GIRLS
They were handing out something.
"I wonder what they're giving out?" I said to hub.
"Trading Cards."
"What?"
"Girlie Trading cards. There are some on the back seat."
"What?? Where?"
I twisted around and searched the back seat until I found 4 trading cards. Cody. Hope. Suri. Stacey.
"Where did you get these?"
"They were handing them out at the gas station where we picked up the sodas."
"How come you didn't show them to me????"
Hub was silent. It was a dangerous moment for him.
Was I miffed he picked them up or kept them??? or was I miffed because he hadn't share this interesting little treasure????
Sensing his distress....I let him off the hook.
"These are so...interesting. Girlie trading cards. Look at the little credit card logos. Hmmmm...why is Hope running a special for $37....why would a woman be on sale?????? I mean if she's a prostitute isn't she on sale already???? What do you think you get for $47?? Do you think it's just the price to get to the door????? How much do they do?????
My hub is a diplomatic and cautious man who has lived with me a long time. If he knew the answers....he probably figured it was best not to tell me ...... and if he didn't know the answers...he was content to listen to my ever growing wave of questions.
I tucked the trading cards into my purse...since we finally saw the sign for our hotel.
During our entire stay in Vegas, a steady stream of giant almost-naked women cruised back and forth along the Strip..... and every few blocks a sad cluster of men ( I say sad...only because all the men were very short dark Hispanic men who appeared not to understand or speak much English...and looked uncomfortable) in orange shirts handed out more cards.
Just before leaving Vegas, I decided to hold out my hand as we passed one of them.....to get a few more cards. The man ....looked shocked....he was obviously programmed to offer cards to any man passing by....but not a woman.
He reluctantly gave me a few cards.
Hub rolled his eyes. I imagine it's not easy living with a curious woman.
"Look here.......right on top.....a Gina card!!!.....and she's special .....only 47.00....Do you think we should call her...and just see what they say?? I mean...don't you wonder how they talk to a client....what they say ...what they offer to do??"
My hub suggested a gellato...which in hub-speak means......spare me from the inquisition.
So.... I pouted...and ordered a hazelnut concoction.....and became quiet and pensive ....thinking of men and women and sex and fun and using people as toys....I mean.... is it okay to use people as toys if there is mutual consent to be toys to each other???? what if one person sees the other person as real and one person sees the other as a toy??
Fortunately my gellato dripped all over my pants..... which in real-life means....can it.
"Hey....Let's go buy some t-shirts for the kids."
I tucked Gina in my purse for the trip home.
This weekend...I'm going to give her a call and find out what they say and what they do. I mean ...I have caller-ID block....and don't you really want to know at least if they say ...."Hello I'm Gina???? And what would they say to a woman?? How do they sound???
Stalled in bumper to bumper traffic, we weren't moving anywhere in this part of Vegas.
I bent over to grab my cell phone and noticed the half naked woman on rear door of the truck in front of us.
HOT BABES
THEY REALLY WANT TO MEET YOU.
702-555 5555
I stretched from one side to the other and saw that each side of the truck had a large picture of a blond-haired woman clad in black lacy lingerie .
She was reclining in the classic men's magazine pose: lips parted and tugging at her bikini bottom....the ...I-must-pull-these-off-RIGHT-NOW!...look.
This was not a small truck....consequently.....this woman was HUGE.
"Huh. Do you see the woman on the truck in front of us?"
Hub was staring straight ahead and probably had been for a long time....he was being a very attentive driver....and probably had been oggling her for miles.
Since I like words...I couldn't help but focus on the short one liner under her body......They really want to meet you.
So interesting....because ...by inserting the word "really"......it implies that these women are guaranteed to like you.... a man doesn't have to fear rejection.
In other words....no worries....unlike women in the real world....these women will always welcome your presence.
Another truck with a similar billboard passed by. I felt a pang of ......discomfort.
Yes...it's Vegas....but ....geeez 12 foot high girlie ads are just so .....obvious.
Turning my attention to the sidewalk crowds.....I noticed groups of men in bright hunter orange t-shirts in clumps every couple blocks. The shirts were stiff...new and cheap....and worn over dingy clothes.
GO GO GO GIRLS
They were handing out something.
"I wonder what they're giving out?" I said to hub.
"Trading Cards."
"What?"
"Girlie Trading cards. There are some on the back seat."
"What?? Where?"
I twisted around and searched the back seat until I found 4 trading cards. Cody. Hope. Suri. Stacey.
"Where did you get these?"
"They were handing them out at the gas station where we picked up the sodas."
"How come you didn't show them to me????"
Hub was silent. It was a dangerous moment for him.
Was I miffed he picked them up or kept them??? or was I miffed because he hadn't share this interesting little treasure????
Sensing his distress....I let him off the hook.
"These are so...interesting. Girlie trading cards. Look at the little credit card logos. Hmmmm...why is Hope running a special for $37....why would a woman be on sale?????? I mean if she's a prostitute isn't she on sale already???? What do you think you get for $47?? Do you think it's just the price to get to the door????? How much do they do?????
My hub is a diplomatic and cautious man who has lived with me a long time. If he knew the answers....he probably figured it was best not to tell me ...... and if he didn't know the answers...he was content to listen to my ever growing wave of questions.
I tucked the trading cards into my purse...since we finally saw the sign for our hotel.
During our entire stay in Vegas, a steady stream of giant almost-naked women cruised back and forth along the Strip..... and every few blocks a sad cluster of men ( I say sad...only because all the men were very short dark Hispanic men who appeared not to understand or speak much English...and looked uncomfortable) in orange shirts handed out more cards.
Just before leaving Vegas, I decided to hold out my hand as we passed one of them.....to get a few more cards. The man ....looked shocked....he was obviously programmed to offer cards to any man passing by....but not a woman.
He reluctantly gave me a few cards.
Hub rolled his eyes. I imagine it's not easy living with a curious woman.
"Look here.......right on top.....a Gina card!!!.....and she's special .....only 47.00....Do you think we should call her...and just see what they say?? I mean...don't you wonder how they talk to a client....what they say ...what they offer to do??"
My hub suggested a gellato...which in hub-speak means......spare me from the inquisition.
So.... I pouted...and ordered a hazelnut concoction.....and became quiet and pensive ....thinking of men and women and sex and fun and using people as toys....I mean.... is it okay to use people as toys if there is mutual consent to be toys to each other???? what if one person sees the other person as real and one person sees the other as a toy??
Fortunately my gellato dripped all over my pants..... which in real-life means....can it.
"Hey....Let's go buy some t-shirts for the kids."
I tucked Gina in my purse for the trip home.
This weekend...I'm going to give her a call and find out what they say and what they do. I mean ...I have caller-ID block....and don't you really want to know at least if they say ...."Hello I'm Gina???? And what would they say to a woman?? How do they sound???
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday, October 27, 2008
Things I learned on my trip......never touch the towels....they could turn into monkeys.
The best part of traveling is learning and seeing new things.
So I thought I would share the wealth of my trip over the next few days.
The first thing I want to share is an art form ...new to me.....Towel Art.
Yes ....Towel Art.
I heard of the craft, actually seen a how-to book in my bookstore, but thought this art form was only observed in far off spas....where people who had spent way too much time in a steam bath or had way too many hot rocks placed on them....desperately twisted towels in a vain attempt to remember shapes from the real world.
But ahhh.....I learned Towel Art... is the main art form in cruise land.
Here's some art that greeted us after dinner in our room:
The cute pooch
The cuddly koala
The care-free monkey
and my favorite.....the jaunty penis.
So I thought I would share the wealth of my trip over the next few days.
The first thing I want to share is an art form ...new to me.....Towel Art.
Yes ....Towel Art.
I heard of the craft, actually seen a how-to book in my bookstore, but thought this art form was only observed in far off spas....where people who had spent way too much time in a steam bath or had way too many hot rocks placed on them....desperately twisted towels in a vain attempt to remember shapes from the real world.
But ahhh.....I learned Towel Art... is the main art form in cruise land.
Here's some art that greeted us after dinner in our room:
The cute pooch
The cuddly koala
The care-free monkey
and my favorite.....the jaunty penis..
(It's supposed to be a penis right? My hub thought it might be a strange ant eater....or aardvark??? But not me.....anything with two testicles and a stalk in between ...weighs in as a penis......okay I can't explain the little feet....but hey....you're bound to see exotic things when you travel the seas.)
~~~~
Friday, October 24, 2008
It's Vegas Baby.....lol
I can't remember of if said....Yippee....or Yeee ha......when I walked into our hotel room....but I'm actually glad to be here because:
1) The hotel is stationary....i.e. it does not go up and down and bob in the water.
2) It's huge......(size matters....) my hotel bathroom is bigger than the cruise cabin I lived in for the last 5 days.
3) It's a surprise.....I went online just before we got on the boat....looked at hotels deals and just went ennneeee meeeene minnnneeee mo.... and the winner was The Venetian......lots of stars....special price...huge suites.
4) Oh ho....Vegas seems a bit fun....I've been here 2 or 3 times....and never left feeling that way....but perhaps there's enough great restaurants....and spas and shops and other stuff to do besides gambling now......or I'm just being seduced by the ultra thick embroided bath robe.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Heading for Shore.....
Whoa maties.....up and down and up and down and.....what are you thinking???
Of course....I'm back on the ship after a very sentimental day in Ensenda...a place I knew a zillion years ago when we lived in San Bernardino for a year while hub was in training.
Have pictures....have stories......have art.....
but have only a few Internet minutes left......
so...it's off the boat tomorrow morning.....a drive through the desert ......and arriving in hunka hunka burning love land (aka Las Vegas) for a glittery night before we head back home.
See ya then.....
Of course....I'm back on the ship after a very sentimental day in Ensenda...a place I knew a zillion years ago when we lived in San Bernardino for a year while hub was in training.
Have pictures....have stories......have art.....
but have only a few Internet minutes left......
so...it's off the boat tomorrow morning.....a drive through the desert ......and arriving in hunka hunka burning love land (aka Las Vegas) for a glittery night before we head back home.
See ya then.....
Monday, October 20, 2008
The tip of the Baja
Well here I am.....at the tip of the Baja penisula....obviously having survived....a night...a "fun day at sea" and Los Cabos.
It's been an interesting trip.....great to be with family....but the boat experience....feels like I was walking along a block in Las Vegas and someone came along .... cut the block of earth up and sent it out to sea.
Carnival Cruise Lines is sort of the everyman-type cruise. There's well coiffed folks and folks that look like they just walked off a Walmart parking lot.
I've seen more cellulite than I would ever want to (oh god some people should not wear daisy duke shorts and swimsuits without skirts)...along with enough fake boobs to be comforted that if something happens to the ship...I'll just grab one of these gals ...because there are huge floaties riding on some chests here.
The food has also ranged from very nice dinner and wine combinations with pleasant even artistic presentations to a buffet where people are totally into piling on food in mass quantities.
I've had times of claustrophobia.....and a bit of motion sickness....and the fun day at sea probably would be more fun if I enjoyed Bingo...or games....or lectures on shopping....instead I found myself pacing back and forth on a deck, that for some reason, was devoid of folks.....feeling restless and very confined for a few hours. But Sunday (our day at sea) ...was also my hub's birthday...so we had a celebratory bottle of wine before dinner.....and I was happy we celebrated with family around.
When we docked this morning......I couldn't wait to get off the ship and on to land....but Los Cabos....is strange place....gorgeous to look at....desert hills and mountains perched on the beach....but also a thousand million condos.... for Americans and Europeans. I have a feeling not many natives can afford the mega mansions built on the hillsides.
It was 92 degree and at least 95% humidity when we got off the ship....and within a few hours....the intense heat and humidity ....made me weary...that and the fact that my shopper's eye found nothing to be happy about....all the shops sell the exact same stuff just in different colors. There was even a mall which we stepped into to escape the heat....but it was the same stores I've seen elsewhere. I was sure there might be a store or two....a vendor with something unique....but I only found one place which had artistic and unique gifts....unfortunately....the prices were also unique.
Perhaps I did this port wrong....I should have just signed up for a jet ski...slathered on the sun screen and joined all the other folks out on the ocean. Regrettably.....all that happened is .....I came back exhausted.....and literally peeled off my drenched sweaty clothes and layed naked on the bed till my core body temperature went back down to normal.
Geez....I must have gotten soft over the last few months of work...if I can't take a tropical temp and humidity....for a few hours....oh .....what's become of me???....lol
The boat will be leaving soon......for another "fun day at sea".....before reaching Ensenada......it's a time when the boat has you captive.....but I'll be better prepared this time.....I've pulled my books out....a sketch pad....some mags....and I've already scouted out a place or two that may be quiet and in the shade.
I'm also ready to enjoy some of my favorite characters on the ship during our confinement at sea........although there are 2000 folks here....it's amazing how people you start recognizing....my favorites are Girdle girl and her cowboy boyfriend ( a volumptious woman who wears a tan body stocking down to her thighs which shows when the winds blows her dresses up in the air)....Maori arms....(a buff guy with interesting tattoos).....Short Stud.....(a gorgeous upper body dad with 4 young daughters who follow him around).....Gross Pizza man ..( a guy weighing at least 450 pounds who sits at the buffet and eats whole pizzas all day)....the Kissing Couple....(a large girl with multiple tattoos and burgundy hair on her honeymoon with a man who has hair like Elvis).....and Donna....(a woman I envy because she is going to be heading off to Ghana with her family to live for a couple of years since her hub works for the American Embassy ).
Maybe they'll have another "chest contest" tomorrow.....the one thing I did find funny....on my previous day at sea....was the "best chest contest"....featuring a group of guys. I hooted and clapped for one cute guy....who eventually won......I presume to be fair.....they'll have a "chest contest" for women tomorrow? Hmmm...they better have it in two sections......natural and enhanced. Damn....where did I put that push up bra????
Oh ho....we're moving.....heading out to sea....I hope I didn't lose my sea legs.....the trick is ...it seems to relax....the ocean...it moves up and down....just like someone breathing......interesting it feels just like that....interesting it's the same rhythm we have in our own body...I like that part of the ocean.....
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~
It's been an interesting trip.....great to be with family....but the boat experience....feels like I was walking along a block in Las Vegas and someone came along .... cut the block of earth up and sent it out to sea.
Carnival Cruise Lines is sort of the everyman-type cruise. There's well coiffed folks and folks that look like they just walked off a Walmart parking lot.
I've seen more cellulite than I would ever want to (oh god some people should not wear daisy duke shorts and swimsuits without skirts)...along with enough fake boobs to be comforted that if something happens to the ship...I'll just grab one of these gals ...because there are huge floaties riding on some chests here.
The food has also ranged from very nice dinner and wine combinations with pleasant even artistic presentations to a buffet where people are totally into piling on food in mass quantities.
I've had times of claustrophobia.....and a bit of motion sickness....and the fun day at sea probably would be more fun if I enjoyed Bingo...or games....or lectures on shopping....instead I found myself pacing back and forth on a deck, that for some reason, was devoid of folks.....feeling restless and very confined for a few hours. But Sunday (our day at sea) ...was also my hub's birthday...so we had a celebratory bottle of wine before dinner.....and I was happy we celebrated with family around.
When we docked this morning......I couldn't wait to get off the ship and on to land....but Los Cabos....is strange place....gorgeous to look at....desert hills and mountains perched on the beach....but also a thousand million condos.... for Americans and Europeans. I have a feeling not many natives can afford the mega mansions built on the hillsides.
It was 92 degree and at least 95% humidity when we got off the ship....and within a few hours....the intense heat and humidity ....made me weary...that and the fact that my shopper's eye found nothing to be happy about....all the shops sell the exact same stuff just in different colors. There was even a mall which we stepped into to escape the heat....but it was the same stores I've seen elsewhere. I was sure there might be a store or two....a vendor with something unique....but I only found one place which had artistic and unique gifts....unfortunately....the prices were also unique.
Perhaps I did this port wrong....I should have just signed up for a jet ski...slathered on the sun screen and joined all the other folks out on the ocean. Regrettably.....all that happened is .....I came back exhausted.....and literally peeled off my drenched sweaty clothes and layed naked on the bed till my core body temperature went back down to normal.
Geez....I must have gotten soft over the last few months of work...if I can't take a tropical temp and humidity....for a few hours....oh .....what's become of me???....lol
The boat will be leaving soon......for another "fun day at sea".....before reaching Ensenada......it's a time when the boat has you captive.....but I'll be better prepared this time.....I've pulled my books out....a sketch pad....some mags....and I've already scouted out a place or two that may be quiet and in the shade.
I'm also ready to enjoy some of my favorite characters on the ship during our confinement at sea........although there are 2000 folks here....it's amazing how people you start recognizing....my favorites are Girdle girl and her cowboy boyfriend ( a volumptious woman who wears a tan body stocking down to her thighs which shows when the winds blows her dresses up in the air)....Maori arms....(a buff guy with interesting tattoos).....Short Stud.....(a gorgeous upper body dad with 4 young daughters who follow him around).....Gross Pizza man ..( a guy weighing at least 450 pounds who sits at the buffet and eats whole pizzas all day)....the Kissing Couple....(a large girl with multiple tattoos and burgundy hair on her honeymoon with a man who has hair like Elvis).....and Donna....(a woman I envy because she is going to be heading off to Ghana with her family to live for a couple of years since her hub works for the American Embassy ).
Maybe they'll have another "chest contest" tomorrow.....the one thing I did find funny....on my previous day at sea....was the "best chest contest"....featuring a group of guys. I hooted and clapped for one cute guy....who eventually won......I presume to be fair.....they'll have a "chest contest" for women tomorrow? Hmmm...they better have it in two sections......natural and enhanced. Damn....where did I put that push up bra????
Oh ho....we're moving.....heading out to sea....I hope I didn't lose my sea legs.....the trick is ...it seems to relax....the ocean...it moves up and down....just like someone breathing......interesting it feels just like that....interesting it's the same rhythm we have in our own body...I like that part of the ocean.....
~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~
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