I feel like a jellybean jar tonight.If I stripped.....you could try and guess....how many chigger bites I have.
Honestly, I don't know....parts of me look like I have the measles. Twice today....I had to run into the house, tear off my clothes...and spray Benedryl on my body.......so I wouldn't lose my mind......cause if you scratch a chigger bite.....that's it....your toast......you might as well tear your skin off....because that's what you'll end up doing in the next few days anyways.
I should call a landscape company and ask them to send over men to trim and clean my front and back yard. Unfortunately, I have a soft spot for wild flowers and native plants. I placed many of them in between the regular shrubs and bushes .... so if the beefy boys tried to work in the yard.....I would have to play plant cop......"don't touch that"...." don't pull that"....."don't mow over that" ....because at this time of year its hard to tell the natives from the weeds.
So I'm tackling the whole dang thing by myself (note the men folks are NOT suffering because they're not out there.)
I really never heard of chiggers till I moved to the South.
Red devil no See-Ums....might be a great alternative name. If they would just bite your legs or arms and stay put......they could be tolerated. But these evil wanderers.....crawl up your legs.... and attack your butt, tummy and back as if they were gourmet treats.
They also love breasts (are they all male?)..... even if I wear a tight sports bra....these guys go up and under and snack on the softest most sensitive parts of my womanly orbs.
Ouch.
Honestly, it's so painful ....I need to repeat that.
Ouch.
Why are these Red Devil bites so bad? I googled and discovered the reason. ( Avoid the next section in bold type if you're squeamish or faint easily.)
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Chigger larvae pierce the skin and inject into the host a salivary secretion containing powerful, digestive enzymes that break down skin cells which are then ingested (tissues become liquefied and sucked up). Also, this digestive fluid causes surrounding tissues to harden, forming a straw-like feeding tube of hardened flesh from which further, partially-digested skin cells may be sucked out.
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In other words ....you're a human Margarita being sucked up through a straw....complete with a sweaty salty tang.
I have at least two more days of work in chiggerland.... then I can start on the backyard.
Fortunately, chiggers don't like the back yard.
But we do have ticks.
Big brown ugly blood sucking ticks.
Ouch Ouch Ouch or Wasting Away in Margaritaville....
