Which would you Choose?

In thick green ink....I have "taxes" scrawled on my calender for the next two days.

I've averted my eyes from this part of the calender for so long that when this morning arrived and I placed the bag o'receipts on my desk...I felt faint.

I wasn't sure I could dive right in....maybe it had something to do with my filing system....which I admit is creative.

So I checked my email for a diversion....and found a nice one.....an email from a friend with one of those...."have you seen this?"titles in the subject headings.

This is Cathie Jung....a real live 70 year old woman who has the world's smallest waist....according to the Guinness Book of records.....15 inches....the equivalent of a large jar of mayonnaise.

Apparently when she was in her 40's....she decided corseting would be an interesting diversion and...so she started wearing them in progressively smaller sizes....23 hours a day....(she takes it off for one hour to shower)...until after 25 years or so....she has dwindled down to a 15 inch waist. Her husband helps her lace up every day......and is quite proud of her.....he's an orthopedic surgeon and someone who's frontal lobe you would presume would beginning alarming at what was happening to his wife.

She's had xrays taken and apparently nothing is broken although her stomach had two choices ...drift upwards into her lungs or down into her belly....it appears to have headed south since in this picture and a few others I checked out on the web....her abdomen has a strange looking bloat to it.

There was actually a Utube interview done by some British TV folks with her.... but I thought I would be kind and spare you the post ....she seemed dull...and quite frankly dazed....of course...if I was walking around in a stiff corset for a quarter of a century....I'm not sure what my thought process would be either.

Wanting to waste a bit more time....I goggled the LGM club she mentioned....and their links....oops....

this gentleman was proud to show off his fine waist ...which was also a product of years of corset wearing.....of course further down in his blog....he describes how his Mistress canes him when he's lazy about his training...and how happy he is to receive his punishment....and ....oh ho....this is getting a bit too kinky for 8am.....

A few hits to the other links....and things were getting progressively "whippy"...."leathery"....and black....and not just in color......

I guess this week....its either sex or taxes...and at this point.....well......receipts sound a bit soothing.

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I Think I'm in an Alfred Hitchcock Trailer.......

As you know, (of if you don't ....just scroll down) a snake was IN my mailbox followed by a penis which appeared ON my mailbox.

So what's next? I'm sitting in my daughter's vacated bedroom relaxing in her reading chair with my little cat by my side. Suddenly the cat stares up at the ceiling. I stare up at the ceiling and see nothing but hear...munch munch munch.

AHHHHH! I pound the wall...... hoping I can scare whatever it is out of my attic. My cat meows at the ceiling. There's a moment of silence....then munch munch munch.

Okay...what could be more irritating than sitting in your reading chair and hearing your house being EATEN by a rodent.?? I jumped up ready to investigate ...but my men folks could not be motivated to come with me......and I didn't want to go meet the muncher alone...I had Hitchcock-type visions of opening the attic door and having something jump on my head and start munching on my neck. So I moved to another part of the house to read and avoid the sound.

Today, after numerous meetings for the community project, I come home and decided to just take some deep breaths in the reading chair before beginning some laser focused work. I closed my eyes......took a deep breath......MUNCH MUNCH MUNCH.....

AHHHHH! This time I'm mad (and full of a venti double shot mocha cappuccino)....I grab a broom....I'm ready to fight.

I open my attic door and find a beloved Easter basket that belonged to my daughter shredded.


I climb the creepy little staircase up to the outer most part of the attic....the part that has only white fluffy insulation in giant heaps all over. But I can't see a thing....and the floor boards don't go back far enough for me to actually examine the spot above my daughter's bedroom. I'm really pissed now. Not only is this not going to be easy....but I'll probably have to call an exterminator....can we all say Cah Ching$$$!

I'm just about to leave the attic when I spy one of my storage boxes against the wall. The cover has been tossed to the side. I step closer.......AHHHH!.....the @#@$!@ rodents have eaten MY TAXES! They've shredded part of my tax records!!! There are at least 50 boxes in the attic.....baby mementos, holiday decorations, stuff.....and the rodents have picked my tax box....no less at tax time!!!!......

This is war.....in one week when my project is over.....I'm going to find the meanest looking exterminators in the south.....people who have never ever entertained a kind thought towards a rodent....and we're going to catch us some varmints.....and it ain't gonna be pretty.

Proof for the tax man in case I get audited.

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