So I pinched myself and the alien said "ouch."
I'm not sure that's enough evidence for a court of law but it probably would be considered enough proof in your bathroom.
So I fluffed up his woman's hair....put a little mascara on her....and sighed.
I have no snap in me......
No twinkle...no mischievousness....it's like my personality has gone Matzoh.
I don't regret the emotional price I've felt over my parents death....or the work or the heartbreak experienced.
What happened to them was sad and tragic and loving them meant feeling all the trouble and ache and pain that accompanied their illness and death.
It's just that....I'm a little surprised...how I can see the results on me yet....especially here at home.
In Chicago....working in their house....I expect to be a wreck....emotions rollercoastering...but even in the sanctuary of my own place...I feel shadowy....not quite all together.
I bought a plain brown journal the other day to start writing some ideas for what to do down the line....someday in the next year....their house will be sold....and all the mountains of stuff will be somewhere or at least mostly organized and processed....then what will I do?
My hub suggested a trip....but even when I said words like Mongolia, Jordan, Ireland....they sounded flat....as if they were not living breathing ideas but cardboard.
A friend suggested writing down my experience with my parents....maybe put something together....but I have amnesia...I can't seem to remember it chronologically....I just have images....still frames of moments throughout the last months.
I wish I could cocoon for a week or two.... process things quietly....but there are financial matters...and a memorial service....and the IRS has already sent them a letter....and I'm seeing this person and that person...probate may loom ahead.
All "have to's".....that can't just be put on hold. ...or maybe they can....and I just don't know it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
