I turned on the chandelier in my foyer.....armed myself with a couple of rags and began tackling the long flight of stairs to the second floor.
There was a dust bunny on every step and I swear lint from every sock that passed on the threads.
I had brushed about 6 stairs....raking up the crud...when suddenly ...I feel funny......woozy....then hot...damn hot....the sweat starting to form little rivulets down my temple.
I grabbed a paperback someone left on the stair and starting fanning myself.
Whooo heee.... what's going on here?
Then I panicked.....
Oh god is this a hot flash? is this it????
I'm....over 45 years old..... could it be that time???
Oh god...I can not lose my estrogen on top of everything that has happened this year.
Tears started spilling over........I am so not ready for this.
I started to cry....big time.
I visualized my happy little estrogen engine frozen in mid choo choo....it's gears never to pump again.....
I thought of my parents.......
I thought of a friend whose husband had a stroke....
I thought of painful loses in the last couple of years....
and I just howled.
Ozzie the Wonder dog came up the stairs and sat down next to me...looking nervous. The cat looked down over the ledge wide-eyed.....I totally let it rip.....
eventually the snot and tear combo got so bad....I needed to mop up after myself.....
I headed into the kitchen trying to find the new roll of paper towels I just bought
ahhh there on the desk...
tore off a few sheets....blew my nose.... sopped up my fluids.
I took a couple of deep breaths then the blinking numbers on the wall caught my attention.
What?
I squinted at the new dial.
I pressed a button....the digital reading flashed 83 degrees.....84 degrees
What the hell?
Then I remembered....before I started cleaning... I turned up the air condtioner
appears I pressed the wrong button and added ten degrees
then add another ten degrees from a chandelier with two dozen lights....
and you've got a toasty foyer ....cooking around 102 degrees.
I patted my ovaries....."good girls.....good good girls.....don't fail me now"
And I started singing to my little estrogen-making machines:
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