You've got Schmaltz.....

Steve patted the tub.

"It's my best batch ever." His brown eyes twinkled. "Better than my mom's," he laughed, "and she's from Brooklyn."

I took the container from his hands and placed it on the passenger seat. I wondered if I should place the seat belt around the tub.

Steve must have read my mind. "It's dense...it's not going anywhere."

I was ready to exit the parking lot when Sarah, a pretty brunette, motioned for me to pull over.

"Oh.....(she spied the tub)....Steve's chopped liver."

"It looks good."

"It's great...but it will kill ya."

"Kill me?"

"It's got schmaltz."

"Schmaltz? What's that?"

She waved her hands at me...."Go ...go home...and google it."

I gave the tub a few discreet sideways glances while I drove home.....watching for small clouds of toxic gas to rise or perhaps the plastic would melt.

Nothing happened.

I set the container on my counter top. After thirty minutes of looking just like a container, I dipped a spoon in the mixture and spread the pate on a crispy baguette slice.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Obviously if this was going to kill me ...this was the way to go.

So I made another little baguette slice and headed up to my computer room to google the thing that would kill me.

Schmaltz. Rendered chicken or beef fat.

This was something to fear?

Both sets of my grandparents came from the "Old Country".....which means I've eaten things that would make many Americans weak in the knees like.....

beef tongue with gravy. The meat was sweet and tender. Grandma served it with homemade brown gravy and killer mashed potatoes.....made with cream, eggs, salt and mashed by hand until all the lumps were gone. Warm...smooth...soft....the textures and taste would put you into a comfort-food-coma.

Oxtails. Did I stop and think it was cow tail bones? Of course not, but simmered all day in a tomatoe-y BBQ sauce and then served on buttered egg noodles.....was like mmm mmm heaven.

I've dipped into duck's blood soup (my mother told me it was chocolate soup and I ate it..and if you don't know what cooked blood taste like....it's rather chocolately....I mean you wouldn't think you were eating melted Hershey's in a bowl...but it has a distinct chocolate taste) , dried sausages, fried wild rabbit and in Africa I chowed down on camel...goat...and fried snake.

Therefore...rendered natural fat.....does not scare me.

What does scare me....is looking at a product's ingredients and seeing it consists mostly of monotriphosphateglycomicases.

That's fricking scary.

So I served my chopped liver tonight....and everyone mmmmmmmed and everyone left...so there were no bodies on the floor....and no arteries left behind noticeably clogged.

Tomorrow....I'll eat more veggies....I'll have some Greek yogurt....maybe eat a mango.....

but right now...I've got a happy glass filled with a rich smooth Syrah....and I'm going to sneak down to the extra fridge in the garage and take another hit on Steve's chopped liver.....

I've got schmaltz.....but I'm a brave woman.
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