I've decided to join a gym.Foot surgery.....an injury or two from working on my mom's house.....this that....you know....and you look in the mirror one day and say....."hmmmmm."
In our city there's a couple gyms....the 24 hour here's-the-machines-come-when-you-want.....the "club" where you have to have a perky ponytail, a coordinated outfit and shoes to match.....and for lack of a better name.....the muscle man gym.
Fitness machines look scary so I don't want to go to the all day all nighter do as you want....because I don't know how to do anything.
I also don't want to go to the "club." Where you have to chat and have a cappuccino....or wheat shot....I need to work without fussing about who I know and who I network with.
So I decided to check out the muscle man gym. Immediately I noticed something different. The parking lot was filled with pick up trucks. Not ratty pick up trucks....but shiney carefully polished...chrome things sparkling in the sun. Manly cars. At the "club"....I walked past scores of gray and black Lexus, Beamers...and of course....some Cadillacs.
When I walked into the muscle gym a man with a thin t-shirt...which allowed me to visualize the 6 pack underneath....smiled adorably and welcomed me. I gently pushed the thought that he looked like a Calvin Klein model away.
He showed me this machine and that machine.
He needed to take a call....so I had a chance to look over the clientele. In the middle of the afternoon....there were two red-faced girls....huffing and puffing in short shorts and t-shirts on some machine.....and an array of young muscley men.
He rejoined me and herded me to the big machines....were the muscley men were located.
I swooned.
The testosterone was so thick....I flushed.... blushed...or afterglowed....maybe all three!
I stood mesmerized as this huge man....with huge biceps.....lifted huge weights.
Intoxicated, I could hardly hear my guide chatting away next to me. All I could do was watch the muscle man....push...push...push.
Finally, I pulled myself away from the testosterone zone and back to the counter to look over the details of joining. It looked pretty reasonable and they had an array of personal trainers.
Today, a trainer called me. A nice guy named Chuck who talked about his credentials and asked a few questions. Towards the end of the conversation, I joked about the testosterone thick air in some parts of the gym. He laughed....and said most women found the scent "motivating."
I laughed....because I thought it was the truth.
I liked Chuck.....and if I have to inhale testosterone to get my legs strong again....well there are worse things to smell in life.
Chuck insisted I have a medical exam first.....(which I've scheduled) and if everything is okay....he'll fit me in next week.
I told him I was nervous.
No problem he said.....just show up in comfy clothes.....and take a deep breath.
A deep breath.....Hmmmm.......I hope I don't wake up with a beard one morning after inhaling those manly smells three times a week.
Oh well, I could probably borrow my husband's razor.....lol.
