Walgreens goes BDSM?????.....

My son has a rash and needs a unique prescription. I decided to call a couple of Walgreens to see which one might carry the drug. I was immediately put on hold when I connected with one at the south end of our city..... past experience with this store has taught me I'd have a long wait.

To pass time, I started clicking around Walgreen’s website..... I noticed they had a “Sexual Health” tab. I clicked it....and a page came up with three items: a foam wedge for comfortable positioning, a box of colorful condoms and........a “ Fascinator Shag Throe.”

What?

A fascinator is one of those frou frou things....feathers...bows etc that brides or female party goers put in their hair.

(I guess this is called a fascinator because...people are going to be fascinated? ...either because you look soooooo good....or because you look so idiotic?)

And throe....usually means an agonizing struggle....as in the throes of childbirth.....

So Walgreen’s was selling a shag item to put on your head to create a spasm of pain???

When did they go BDSM?????

Looking at the item didn’t help...it looked like a sleeping bag?


I enlarged the pic and looked for the description.

"The Fascinator Throe is a portable, slip-sliding surface that shields sheets, comforters, quilts and furniture from stains. Feels like fur on one side, satin on the other with a water barrier in-between. Toss it on top of sheets, sofas and fancy home furnishings that you want to shield. "

A “slip-sliding” waterproof surface.

I immediately thought of those banana yellow strips of plastic you place on the grass and attach the hose to.....and the kids slip-slide on them......and go weee....apparently you're supposed to go weeee on this too....except it's a 5x6 square of fuzzyy/satiny material.

And it’s not cheap......$85.00.....(although it arrives in a “non-descriptive” box...which is a good thing because I would hate to have postal employees ponder the merits of delivering a fascinator throe to someone.)

There was even a review from...Bertha the Buxom who describes herself as quality and value oriented person:

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By Bertha the Buxom from Granbury, Texas on 10/25/2007

Pros:
Functional, Prolongs Performance, Heightens Stimulation, Mutually Satisfying, Feels good
Best Uses:
Intimate Settings, Setting The Mood
Describe Yourself:
Quality Oriented, Value Oriented
Bottom Line:
Yes, I would recommend this to a friend

Wow just throw the sucker down on the surface you intend to get down and dirty on and ride that cowboy all the way to town

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By the time the pharmacy tech answered the phone....I was completely lost in thought.

Cowboys...water slides....and Bertha were all jumbled in my imagination.

“Can I help you?,” she said again ...obviously irritated.

I snapped back to reality and asked for the medication.

“Anything else?”

Truly...there was a part of me that wanted to ask.....

“Do you think you need an $85.00 Fascinator Throe to have sex on a couch?”

I didn’t ask.....I have to live in this town....

but let’s just say ....I have a stack of old soft blankets in my closet that aren’t going to Good Will.....

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Really I don't make these things up....Walgreens Sexual Health Site.