One of the most difficult challenges I face in my life....is having a developmentally disabled son.I have cried till my eyes were swollen shut....and felt ready to explode into tiny pieces because my psyche filled with so much pain and despair for the trouble and suffering he goes through...and for his obvious yearning to be just a regular guy.
Why him? Why him? The question can beat like a drum in your head....yet there's never an answer.
When he was little.....I've fought for him like a mother tiger at times....against systems and bureaucracies that wouldn't treat him fairly or give him a chance....and at other times I've closed my eyes and looked away because I just couldn't handle dealing with one more problem or situation.
Things have quieted down now that he is a young man ....although he has numerous challenges ...he drives a car (a little) and held a full time job working in food service for part of a big company here in town.
He was very proud of being employed and like buying his own DVD's or splurging on a huge bag of chips and soda...which Mom and Dad wouldn't buy for him. The job gave him an enormous sense of pride and self-esteem.
This fall he was fired from that job. We didn't know he was in trouble.....he was so proud that he worked for this big name company in town...he hid his counseling records. Two or three weeks after he was terminated we discovered he wasn't "let go because they were laying people off" but because of poor job performance.
Then the big organization that he worked for....an organization which prides itself on Christian compassion....checked off a box on a form....so he would be denied unemployment compensation. They checked the box "misconduct" and so he is entitled to no monetary help during this time and must look for future employment with this label applied to him.
By definition, misconduct, in a legal sense, means someone intentionally, willfully and with indifference to consequences does something that would harm their employer best interest in the workplace.
Applying this to my son is the equivalent of saying a one-legged man gets fired from his job because he didn't walk quick enough. Yes....maybe the one legged-man didn't do a good job because speed was needed....but do you say this man willfully and intentionally didn't walk quick enough? or do you say there's a preponderance of evidence that he couldn't physically walk quickly....because he was missing a leg....and there's good reason to believe that's why he didn't perform well in speed-walking....because he couldn't versus he stood there and thought hmmmm ....I'll walk slowly.
My son may have made mistakes at work.....but it wasn't intentional and premeditated.......especially when I can present a face sheet with about 14 different areas of developmental problems.
So hub and I went for to a hearing today.....to challenge the term misconduct...and present the case that underlying physical and mental problems were part of the reason he didn't do well in his job.....and he did not fit the label of being intentionally negligent...his actions were not premedidated....he like the one-legged man....had limitations...and that was a significant part of why he didn't perform well. We weren't asking for his job back....just the removal of the label and small unemployment compensation.
Three minutes into the meeting.... I looked at my hub.....and shook my head.....obviously our case was totally out maneuvered by savvy corporate human resource people.
My husband and I aren't disability lawyers ... and we got screwed. When I got home...I doubled checked a few things the human resource person said...and it was wrong...but I didn't know enough to challenge it. I don't even have to wait for the judgement....it was obvious. The full weight of this big corporation was going to make sure a very small unemployment payment to my son would be withheld and the label remained firmly in place thus hindering his employment in the future.
It just broke my heart ...for the thousandth time.
And one person from the corporation lied......someone I previously admired......she look down at her hands, was asked a question....and didn't tell the truth. My mouth dropped open and I looked her straight in the eyes when she looked up.....she turned ten shades of red but she did not recant.
Truth can be totally outfoxed by people who have an agenda.
My hub said ...let it go. We can see if we can find another job for him....and we will be more savvy this time and make sure they can't pull the rug from under him.
But....it's just not right ..and that's what nags at me. And if the company can do this to people...with a support system in place.....what happens when it's done to someone with no back up and resources?
So tomorrow I will call and talk to a savvy person at a help center.....
I will appeal......
I do not want to do this....but in all honestly....I can not not do this.
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