Where o' where can my little house on Long Island be?

From blintzes and kugel to houses.

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A few days ago I was sweating in the Food festival booth.....now I'm sweating over my keyboard looking for a house on the Internet. A house for my daughter to get married in.

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Through some weird process of selection....she and her finance decided they wanted to wed in the Hamptons on Long Island. We all liked this one house near Southampton, an estate with 14 bedrooms and the capacity to hold 28 people...which my daughter tells me is the perfect number of guests.

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The owner of the house told me they would be staying at the house on Memorial Day weekend so come on down and check it out.

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So my daughter and I made arrangements and are heading out to Long Island next weekend....where only idiots would fly into....because who the hell is willingly going to face the Memorial Weekend crowds on a long thin island with only a handful of major highways.

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Trouble is....I've emailed and called the owners and they're not answering. Maybe they changed their minds about showing the house...maybe someone is sick....maybe ...maybe...maybe...who knows??? But now we are stuck with tickets to Long Island and a need to find a house for a wedding if we don't hear from the estate people.

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So all morning I was looking and looking and I'm not thrilled....although there are one or two possibilities.

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By afternoon I was asking myself what weird karma has fallen on me that my daughter would want to get married on Long Island.....I mean really....there's a whole coast line from Maine to Florida and she picks the most difficult....most expensive ....most troublesome spot on the coast.

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Of course I'm not going to say this to her.....it's her dream....and my job as mom is to help make that dream come true....but by late afternoon..... I wanted to pound my head against the wall... Long Island? the Hamptons? Where am I going to find a house for 28 people that doesn't cost three Rolls Royces if these owners don't' recontact me???

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So I went shopping tonight and bought two new bras and panties...because I always buy new underwear when I go to New York.....and decided I would spend part of Saturday and a good chunk of Sunday....calming thinking my way through this need and rescanning the rental ads.

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I'm clever....there must be something I can arrange/do....but even with new underwear I don't feel very hopeful.

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Patience patience.....deep breath....this is only the beginning.

Out to Sea........

So this is how it’s going to end…..I thought…nibbling on my clam strip.

I ditched tornadoes in Omaha…..Chicago….and the South….only to be swooshed away on a strip of beach on Long Island….How ironic.

I wonder what the folks would say at home.

"Did you hear about Gina and her hub….they got blown away in a lobster roll?"

"What were they doing in a big bun?"

"No no they were in a skimpy fish shack called the Lobster Roll…..and got blown out to sea."

I ate another clam strip (they were too good to leave behind…) and waited for my Dorothy moment.

The wait staff looked pale….they had already battened down the shack….secured the awnings…..locked the windows.

The hostess ….a young pale thing…..maybe 18 years old…..gazed out the doorway saucer-eyed and stood absolutely still……as if somewhere…. in some fish shack manual….it said …..if there’s an impending tornado….stay calm…. gaze out the doorway…..and stand motionless next to your podium.

A few minutes ago…..a woman arrived at the restaurant….dripping wet from the gale outside and announced….there was a tornado reported down the road.

Everyone gasped and looked out the windows…..she sat down….however, and picked up a menu….I guess if you’re at a famous fish shack on the Montauk highway….you might as well place your order…..

it could be….after all…. the ultimate TO GO order.

The lights went out…. came back on….then went out again

The storm….sheets of rain with wind that shook the shack was not letting up. 20 minutes ago we were driving down the highway under overcast skies….where did this monster storm come from?

Since there was no place to run to or hide…..it made sense just to stay put….but as an experienced duck-and-cover-here-comes- a potential-tornado-person…..I knew the thin wooden walls of the old fish shack would probably hold for only a nanosecond or two….if the real thing was bearing down on us.

Still….I asked my husband to sit at the end of the booth seat…..he rolled his eyes….but complied.

“If the place starts to go….we can dive under the table.”

“You’re kidding ...right?.”

“Well it would give us something to do as the place blows away.”

I continued to eat my golden delicious clam strips ...as water dripped from the window next to the table….….leaves and bits of trees flew by outside.

The hostess remained firm at her post.

Gradually….the rain stopped…..and the waiter appeared to remove my plate.

He looked relieved we were still on Terra Firma.

“Would you like dessert?”

“Yes …Please,” I said with true joy....

because you should always celebrate not getting blown out to sea in a flimsy fish shack on your vacation.

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To amuse myself while the storm raged.....I doctored a little sketch the restaurant gave out to kids to color while waiting for their food....

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The song of the Sand.

The nomads in the Sahara claimed that the sands could sing.

They attributed the song to Jinns....spirits...that swirled around the dunes. Just before I left for Africa.....an article on the front page of the New York Times...verified what the nomads had known for centuries....yes...the dunes sing....harmonics derived from cascading sand....furthermore they discovered that specific sand.... sing in particular ways....the song of the Sahara is considered a "sweet tune"......the songs from dunes in China..."dull."

Thinking of singing sand....I've wondered if beaches sing. When water meets a particular type of sand, does it create a unique melody?

For some reason....ever since I first strolled on Robert Moses Beach....the sound of the surf sings to me...in a particular way here. The waves sound sharp and crisp and thunderous in comparison to ..for example....Florida waves....which sound thick and fat and warm.

Some physicists believe ....humans vibrate to their own tune....if so...that would mean we could be in or out of sync in certain environments.

I believe....the sands of Robert Moses and I are in sync....there's something about this beach....that puts me ...in a trance like hum.

When I went to the beach I actually had a notebook and pen in my backpack....I have many things to think about on this trip....and I thought the beach would be a perfect place to work on them....instead within a short time.....all I could hear was the sound of the waves....the particular way they sound and hum inside me.....and then ....all I could do is hum back.....be quiet...be still...just walk and hum....the ocean and I singing to each other.

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