Showing posts with label How much money would you ask Jesus for???. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How much money would you ask Jesus for???. Show all posts

Thursday, March 06, 2008

When Jesus arrives in your Mail.........

I was armed and ready for business......with a Tuareg letter opener I bought in Niger (and yes.. it's ironic to buy a letter opener from a nomad)....and a stack of mail. I planning to quickly cut through the mail..toss out the junk..... and get to what I owe to whom.

I slit one envelope open and saw a pinky-purple sheet inside....most bills aren't pink. I pulled it out and spread it open..... there was Jesus on a paper rug complete with drawn fringe. The image confused me....since my trip to Africa....I associate prayer rugs with Islam....but here He was ...with eyes closed and topped by a crown of thorns....in the middle of a Persian-type rug.

The inscription at the bottom of the "rug" reads: Look into Jesus' Eyes....they're closed...when his eyes open and look into yours...kneel on this rug...then please check your needs on our letter to you....and return the rug....do not keep it.



What? This is spooky. I stared at his eyes....you can see it's one of those optical illusions...you look at it one way and you see the eyes...you look at it the other way...and the eyes are closed.

I didn't kneel on the paper.....but I did check out which "needs" eyes-wide open Jesus could help me with. Here's part of the needs list:

I want help with:

my soul (who doesn't need a bit more soul?)
.
my health ( I've got a few ouches)
.
my children (three check marks here)
.
confusion in my home (can this go to the top of the list?)
.
stopping a bad habit (am I limited to picking just one?)
.
a home to call my own ( does a second home at the beach qualify?)
.
and finally.......................
.
Prayers for God to bless me with this amount of money___________(fill in the blank)
.
and yes....there's actually a blank line......

Now if I would mail back my needs....and my used kneeled-on prayer rug.......I could....open a sealed piece of paper with secret prophecies......about my future......


Did we forget something here? Why of course....a little seed money....just a little donation ....for more rugs to be printed and goods works to continue....how can you say no to such nice people....especially since they were going to ask Jesus to send you all that cash.

The letter ends with a few testimonials.....a lady got a mysterious check for $46,000 ...another man had a claim settle for thousands of dollars.....Jesus is on a roll......so hurry and get in line and join the blessings.

Curious....I did check out St. Matthews and the prayer rug online. Lots of stuff....appears St. Matthews is a post office box in Tulsa (sans church) and a Rev. Ewing who owns the operation has pulled in millions. If I understand correctly....it's not illegal to ask for donations.....and people donate.

In fact.....on one website.....it claimed the "ministry" targets the most vulnerable type of people those:

"hardcore true believers who are poor, uneducated and most vulnerable to promises of financial awards"

Okay......how did I get on this mailing list??????
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